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Lots of questions...


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Hey - I am a 29 year old single mother and have just found out I have herpes. It has been very hard to accept but the part that makes it so bad is that I have so many questions and no answers... so I am going to list couple here and any responses are greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone... BTW - this website has been a huge help the last week!

* From what I have read I have gathered that it is common to have your first outbreak within 2 weeks of being infected? Have you found that to be the case?

*If so, is it possible that I have had an outbreak before this (which is horribly painful) and didn't realize it?

Unless I have had it for years and had absolutely no clue - I got it from one of two people. One that I haven't slept with for over 3 months and one that is 'current'. I want to know where I got it and I am scared to death that I got it from the last one and gave it to the new one... He will kill me!

Also, Is your doctor helpful with this? My doctor is great and is always super helpful... with this - he just said - it's o.k. As long as you are not having an outbreak you can't transfer it and that the meds are getting so good that it's not a huge deal.... I DON'T BUY IT??? Whats the deal?

OK - sorry for the rambling on...

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2 weeks? common? some people have one within 2 days of the contact of virus, and some people go 2 years with out the initial outbreak.

if it was horribly painfull im sure you would have gone to a doctor, but alot of outbreaks can look like yeast infections, so if u had a really bad yeast infection> it might have been a outbreak.

and u can get the current guy tested, just be open> u just found out its not like u KNEW u had it, be open, talk it out, get him tested, if its not him it might be the other guy, or someone else years ago. personaly to me id rather not know who gave it to me, im happy and content with who i am with now and dont want to always have jackass* on my mind everytime i think i have a ob....

u can transfer it w/o having a ob, its called "shedding" yes meds do help with supressing it but if meds were that good we wounld not need to take them everyday.

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yeah, everything waxed said is true and also I see you are worried you may have got it from a guy 3 months ago and then given it to your current guy...however, you could have had it for years (before 3 month ago guy) and may or may not have given it to both of them....or neither, or one of them. When you have the virus in your body for years, without symptoms it is possible you did not shed the virus at all, or that the days you were shedding and did not know, that those were days you happened to not have sexual contact with anyone. If your current guy gets tested and has it then you probably gave it to him, but there is still a chance he had it not knowing and gave it to you.(if youve only been with him a short time chances are his antibody level could present as a newer exposure and you would know you did in fact give it to him, but if his antibody level is different, indicating an older exposure then you wont know)

Also, say you did give it to the 3 month ago guy, he would have a positive result as well but you will not know if its positive b/c you infected him without knowing, or if he infected you. I guess to really know the truth someone will have to be negative to know they do not have it and therefore did not give it to you.....but the paper trail may be long if your current or 3 mnth. ago person does not have it, then you had to have contracted it prior to both of them. Its possible that it was years ago and you may never know. Focus on your life now....Id go as far as telling current partner and 3 mnth. ago partner b/c theres a good chance they dont have it or you did in fact give it to them. Kind of like a courtesy call.....wont solve much b/c if they both test positive it will be the blame game for which of you actually gave it to the other...so Id not get wrapped up in that,.....doesnt matter who gave it...you have it now.Also, remember that you could have had it for years and just because you had sex with people doesnt mean they necessarily would have contracted it from you....there's so many possibilities. good luck and I hope things settle down for you

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    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
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