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Lots of questions...

icbhdttm

By icbhdttm
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icbhdttm Newbie

icbhdttm

Posted
Posted

Hey - I am a 29 year old single mother and have just found out I have herpes. It has been very hard to accept but the part that makes it so bad is that I have so many questions and no answers... so I am going to list couple here and any responses are greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone... BTW - this website has been a huge help the last week!

* From what I have read I have gathered that it is common to have your first outbreak within 2 weeks of being infected? Have you found that to be the case?

*If so, is it possible that I have had an outbreak before this (which is horribly painful) and didn't realize it?

Unless I have had it for years and had absolutely no clue - I got it from one of two people. One that I haven't slept with for over 3 months and one that is 'current'. I want to know where I got it and I am scared to death that I got it from the last one and gave it to the new one... He will kill me!

Also, Is your doctor helpful with this? My doctor is great and is always super helpful... with this - he just said - it's o.k. As long as you are not having an outbreak you can't transfer it and that the meds are getting so good that it's not a huge deal.... I DON'T BUY IT??? Whats the deal?

OK - sorry for the rambling on...

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WaxedWrong Acknowledged Support Member

WaxedWrong

Posted
Posted

2 weeks? common? some people have one within 2 days of the contact of virus, and some people go 2 years with out the initial outbreak.

if it was horribly painfull im sure you would have gone to a doctor, but alot of outbreaks can look like yeast infections, so if u had a really bad yeast infection> it might have been a outbreak.

and u can get the current guy tested, just be open> u just found out its not like u KNEW u had it, be open, talk it out, get him tested, if its not him it might be the other guy, or someone else years ago. personaly to me id rather not know who gave it to me, im happy and content with who i am with now and dont want to always have jackass* on my mind everytime i think i have a ob....

u can transfer it w/o having a ob, its called "shedding" yes meds do help with supressing it but if meds were that good we wounld not need to take them everyday.

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BoxofRain Acknowledged Support Member

BoxofRain

Posted
Posted

yeah, everything waxed said is true and also I see you are worried you may have got it from a guy 3 months ago and then given it to your current guy...however, you could have had it for years (before 3 month ago guy) and may or may not have given it to both of them....or neither, or one of them. When you have the virus in your body for years, without symptoms it is possible you did not shed the virus at all, or that the days you were shedding and did not know, that those were days you happened to not have sexual contact with anyone. If your current guy gets tested and has it then you probably gave it to him, but there is still a chance he had it not knowing and gave it to you.(if youve only been with him a short time chances are his antibody level could present as a newer exposure and you would know you did in fact give it to him, but if his antibody level is different, indicating an older exposure then you wont know)

Also, say you did give it to the 3 month ago guy, he would have a positive result as well but you will not know if its positive b/c you infected him without knowing, or if he infected you. I guess to really know the truth someone will have to be negative to know they do not have it and therefore did not give it to you.....but the paper trail may be long if your current or 3 mnth. ago person does not have it, then you had to have contracted it prior to both of them. Its possible that it was years ago and you may never know. Focus on your life now....Id go as far as telling current partner and 3 mnth. ago partner b/c theres a good chance they dont have it or you did in fact give it to them. Kind of like a courtesy call.....wont solve much b/c if they both test positive it will be the blame game for which of you actually gave it to the other...so Id not get wrapped up in that,.....doesnt matter who gave it...you have it now.Also, remember that you could have had it for years and just because you had sex with people doesnt mean they necessarily would have contracted it from you....there's so many possibilities. good luck and I hope things settle down for you

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