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pandachan

I miss getting eaten out.

62 posts in this topic

Seriously? Has anyone else had some serious depression about this factor? (GHSV-1 here, which means mouth business is dangerous buisness)

I don't know how to get over how sad the idea of never having somebody's face between my legs is. I'm one of those broken dolls that it takes certain things to get off, and that's one of the few.

How do you 'get over' this factor? :c

DisGirlPhoenixx and cookiebelle19 like this

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Yes, I am actually suicidal because of this. ghsv has been a MAJOR set back in my life and I feel it is ridiculous to live continuously miserable just for the sake of living.

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I missed it for several years. It became less problematic once I started dating on H sites. Of course, I suppose there is a risk of cross transmission if youre 69ing or something like that, but after a point I didnt really care and just enjoyed it.

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It doesn't have to be something lost. Either with an H positive partner or with a H negative partner that has accepted the risk, all sexual activity is still available.

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U just need to date someone with oral hsv1.more than half the people on earth

2ndChance2010, Rainbow life, CuteSabrina and 2 others like this

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I have genital and oral, but i got it from my fiance so nothing has changed in our sex life. We still do the same things including oral

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Seriously? Has anyone else had some serious depression about this factor? (GHSV-1 here, which means mouth business is dangerous buisness)

I don't know how to get over how sad the idea of never having somebody's face between my legs is. I'm one of those broken dolls that it takes certain things to get off, and that's one of the few.

How do you 'get over' this factor? :c

Why not receive oral sex?

60% of US adults have ORAL hsv-1. Oral hsv-1 is about 5 times as infectious as ghsv-1, because it activates more frequently. Simply kissing is the greatest risk for catching oral hsv-1.

Hsv-1 is 'better adapted' to the mouth. All this means is that once you have an established oral hsv-1 infection, is is likely to recur more frequently than a genital hsv-1 infection. Hsv-1 does not 'prefer' the mouth!!! I.e., if you have genital hsv-1, it doesn't mean that your hsv-1 is dying to leap onto the mouth of anyone who gives you oral sex. It is no more likely to be transmitted to someone's mouth from your genitals than it is to be transmitted to someone's genitals from your genitals through intercourse - i.e., genital to mouth transmission is unlikely because ghsv-1 does not activate very often.

If your boyfriend would be happy to kiss someone who gets cold sores when they do not have a cold sore, he should be perfectly happy to give you oral sex, since the risk of transmission is actually smaller.

I have ghsv-1. My boyfriend (no history of cold sores) gives me oral sex whenever we feel like it! We've never worried about it, and I'm not on suppressive therapy or anything.

2ndChance2010 likes this

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Why not receive oral sex?

60% of US adults have ORAL hsv-1. Oral hsv-1 is about 5 times as infectious as ghsv-1, because it activates more frequently. Simply kissing is the greatest risk for catching oral hsv-1.

Hsv-1 is 'better adapted' to the mouth. All this means is that once you have an established oral hsv-1 infection, is is likely to recur more frequently than a genital hsv-1 infection. Hsv-1 does not 'prefer' the mouth!!! I.e., if you have genital hsv-1, it doesn't mean that your hsv-1 is dying to leap onto the mouth of anyone who gives you oral sex. It is no more likely to be transmitted to someone's mouth from your genitals than it is to be transmitted to someone's genitals from your genitals through intercourse - i.e., genital to mouth transmission is unlikely because ghsv-1 does not activate very often.

If your boyfriend would be happy to kiss someone who gets cold sores when they do not have a cold sore, he should be perfectly happy to give you oral sex, since the risk of transmission is actually smaller.

I have ghsv-1. My boyfriend (no history of cold sores) gives me oral sex whenever we feel like it! We've never worried about it, and I'm not on suppressive therapy or anything.

This is really nice to hear. I don't know if he sees it the same way or not. I'm still nervous about talking about it, I kind of have just been having small conversations with him. I asked yesterday if he's ever had a coldsore, and explained that would make him have the antibodies, and he said he couldn't remember but he had kissed someone with cold sores before. I think he's more accepting of it than I am, but I just get so awkward about it I haven't wanted to let him go down because I guess I made it more risky/taboo in my head. Maybe not all hope is lost... But it's still gonna take a while to accept certain things.

Thanks for responding.

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I've always had oral performed on me in my relationships. I have never passed it on.

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Anybody with GHSV2 have any advice/experience regarding this? I have the same feelings of desperately missing oral sex, but with a different type of H

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I'm pretty sure mine is type 2. I've never been type tested, but I'm pretty certain. It's literally never been a problem. I'm not saying everyone should run out and do it, as I am married and my husband knows the risk. But there are other women on here who also have oral and haven't passed it in decades of marriage.

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I've given and received oral -- we were both GHSV2 and in our first year (supposedly, this indicates that we were especially communicable). I absolutely LOVE giving and receiving and could not let a little nuisance get in my way. When I get caught up in the moment, I simply must have whatever it is which I want. Burying my face in any part of my partner's body is a quasi-sacred act to me. It forges enduring memories, instantaneous bonding and untold pleasure, which is the whole purpose. Sex that is harnessed with "safe" rules soon loses it's torrid, visceral qualities and one may soon find that it isn't worth the trouble. I don't recommend that you cut yourself short.

On a side note, I should mention that I used to be afraid of life. I was a desperate, shy, incredibly naive kid from the middle of nowhere. It was because of this that I grew despondent and suicidal. Getting through that morbid episode made me realize I truly had nothing to lose. Life soon beckoned and the clouds begrudgingly parted. I asserted that I would no longer would defer when opportunity beckoned, I would not run when challenged. This motivates me in the bedroom and beyond.

Just a thought or two . . .

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I I don't recommend that you cut yourself short.

. I asserted that I would no longer would defer when opportunity beckoned, I would not run when challenged. This motivates me in the bedroom and beyond.

Could you use less flowery language! :) I don't really get what you mean. Are you disclosing?

On another note, no one really knows what the rates of transmission for HSV2 oral are. I read in Terry Warren's book and it says that oral HSV2 is very rare, and if you do have it, it only sheds 1% of the time. Most people who get it orally already have issues with their immune system, like HIV, or are under chemo, but not a lot of clinical testing has been done. I imagine this must be hard for lesbians with H, literally no one has done testing on transmission between female same sex partners. This is why I was looking for people's personal experience. Thanks so much mrhonest and finallyhopeful for responding.

More research needs to be done on herpes! We should all write to our representatives in the government and to the Center for DIsease Control to step up and understand this disease, and hopefully even come up with a vaccine or a cure. It's ridiculous how little we know about this disease.

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Hey I too have oral pleasures and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are females and this is apart of what makes us turned on and feel sexual and sensual and all the good things that come with with being in a loving relationship or just being in love, for some lust but nomatter. My hubby is still non H man and he too has always known the risk of me being GHSV2 . He enjoys this as much as I do. lol. So your life of eating at the Y , for you, isnt over unless you choose it to be. I have never let my H take anything away from me. I will never let my H define who I am as a woman or a good person that I know I am. I always say "am a very HOTT & POSITIVE GIRL"..Welcome to the family..

Hope to meet you soon. Truly, Ace. :)

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I love you guys so much, just had to throw it out there, I really, really appreciate the support I have found on these forums. THANK YOU. Thanks for taking the time to respond, and having the love to care.

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I love you guys so much, just had to throw it out there, I really, really appreciate the support I have found on these forums. THANK YOU. Thanks for taking the time to respond, and having the love to care.

Hey pandachan, we are always here for you or anyone who ever needs our support. I thought your post was an excellent piece of info many here may not know how to talk about. Me i am not shy here, so anytime you want to talk or have a question, please write it here or message me I will happily answer all. It is so nice having you here. Make yourself at home, as you are part of the new family. Truly, Ace. :)

Rainbow life likes this

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also..

On a side note, I should mention that I used to be afraid of life. I was a desperate, shy, incredibly naive kid from the middle of nowhere. It was because of this that I grew despondent and suicidal. Getting through that morbid episode made me realize I truly had nothing to lose. Life soon beckoned and the clouds begrudgingly parted. I asserted that I would no longer would defer when opportunity beckoned, I would not run when challenged. This motivates me in the bedroom and beyond.

Just a thought or two . . .

I really related to this piece of yourself, and it's comforting to hear from others who have perservered and found themselves despite hardship and pain that had kept them down in the past. Thank you for that. <3

Hey pandachan, we are always here for you or anyone who ever needs our support. I thought your post was an excellent piece of info many here may not know how to talk about. Me i am not shy here, so anytime you want to talk or have a question, please write it here or message me I will happily answer all. It is so nice having you here. Make yourself at home, as you are part of the new family. Truly, Ace. :)

Thank you Ace! It always puts a smile on my face to read your positive encouragements. I feel blessed to have found a home here. I feel so much less alone than I did the first few months. And the more time I spend here, yes, I learn a lot about H and H-related things, but I also learn that life goes on. Sure, some days I feel like misery loves company, and I need to rant and rave, but others I'm just like 'You know what? I can do this.' And a huge part of this portion of my own personal recovery is directly related to the support I have found in HC.

Mad, mad love, y'all.

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Ok so I have only just got diagnosed with genital herpes, I was having pretty bad break outs at first but now take meds every day twice (prescribed by the doctor). So if someone goes down on me is it possible for them to get it? I have genital herpes, not oral. I'm totally confused. Thanks in advance

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musiclassuk -

Traditionally HSV2 is downstairs and HSV1 is upstairs., but unfortunately you can get both types of HSV upstairs and downstairs. It is really really rare for people to get HSV2 upstairs, but it can happen. The personal accounts that I have heard about HSV2 upstairs are people who already have immune system issues, like HIV or undergoing chemo, but it *can* happen. So it's best to let your partner know.

I read a statistic on this site (so I'm not 100% sure that it's true) that 70% of new cases of genital herpes for women are HSV1. How crazy! I knew HSV1 contributed to a lot of the new genital herpes infections, but I didn't realize how many!

So in summary, HSV goes where ever you put it, but if you are careful (no sex during OBs and have your uninfected partner wash afterwards with soap) then you should be fine. There is always a risk and the best you can do is to be mindful and be careful.

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musiclassuk -

Traditionally HSV2 is downstairs and HSV1 is upstairs., but unfortunately you can get both types of HSV upstairs and downstairs. It is really really rare for people to get HSV2 upstairs, but it can happen. The personal accounts that I have heard about HSV2 upstairs are people who already have immune system issues, like HIV or undergoing chemo, but it *can* happen. So it's best to let your partner know.

I read a statistic on this site (so I'm not 100% sure that it's true) that 70% of new cases of genital herpes for women are HSV1. How crazy! I knew HSV1 contributed to a lot of the new genital herpes infections, but I didn't realize how many!

So in summary, HSV goes where ever you put it, but if you are careful (no sex during OBs and have your uninfected partner wash afterwards with soap) then you should be fine. There is always a risk and the best you can do is to be mindful and be careful.

Undecided;; can you link me to that statistic? That's.. alarmingly high. Weird.

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I'm not sure where the statistic comes from, but I've read that several times. I guess as it becomes more and more popular to give/receive oral sex, it kind of changes up the viral landscape. As I have said before, I seem to have type 2. I've been married for about ten years, and my husband LOVES to give oral. We do it every time. So far, no problems (knock wood!) :) but he also had the attitude that this isn't life threatening, and we're going on with life. For most of our marriage, I had never even researched herpes, and didn't know the risks or how bad it can be. Just learned all this this year, so we never had those inhibitions about it.

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I'm not sure where the statistic comes from, but I've read that several times. I guess as it becomes more and more popular to give/receive oral sex, it kind of changes up the viral landscape. As I have said before, I seem to have type 2. I've been married for about ten years, and my husband LOVES to give oral. We do it every time. So far, no problems (knock wood!) :) but he also had the attitude that this isn't life threatening, and we're going on with life. For most of our marriage, I had never even researched herpes, and didn't know the risks or how bad it can be. Just learned all this this year, so we never had those inhibitions about it.

Hey Finallyhopeful that is exactly correct. I have been married 20 yrs next month, we never researched it like everyone here does. He and I have always had oral pleasures and would not have it any other way. We never thought about him getting it . His attitude is if and when so be it. He still says he chose me over what I have. He saw more. Our future. But what you wrote is correct for me as well. Thank you for your post. It put a light to what I wanted to write. I hope many new members read it and see more people like us are proof. Oral after herps does exist. LOL. Truly, Ace. :)

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Hey Finallyhopeful that is exactly correct. I have been married 20 yrs next month, we never researched it like everyone here does. He and I have always had oral pleasures and would not have it any other way. We never thought about him getting it . His attitude is if and when so be it. He still says he chose me over what I have. He saw more. Our future. But what you wrote is correct for me as well. Thank you for your post. It put a light to what I wanted to write. I hope many new members read it and see more people like us are proof. Oral after herps does exist. LOL. Truly, Ace. :)

Oh yes, it definitely does, thank goodness :) seriously, my husband just about begs to do it even if I'm not in the mood for it and just want to get down to business. I feel kind of bad or the OP though, because she said she's "one of those broken dolls" who needs it to get off. I don't think that's broken at all. I think most women do need that kind of direct contact to get off, so if you take away the direct stimulation, then it takes away ALL the fun! Why even do it if you're so afraid that you can't do what feels best?

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musiclassuk -

I read a statistic on this site (so I'm not 100% sure that it's true) that 70% of new cases of genital herpes for women are HSV1. How crazy! I knew HSV1 contributed to a lot of the new genital herpes infections, but I didn't realize how many!

Undecided;; can you link me to that statistic? That's.. alarmingly high. Weird.

I'm not sure where the statistic comes from, but I've read that several times. I guess as it becomes more and more popular to give/receive oral sex, it kind of changes up the viral landscape.

I think it is normally me who quotes that statistic on here! Both I and my sister have genital hsv-1. We both live in the UK.

Some sources for these stats:

A Scottish study:

HSV-1 was strongly associated with female sex and younger age. Over the entire study period, HSV-1 was found in (70%) of all positive swabs in women <25 years, (41%) in men <25 years, (49%) in women ges.gif25 years, and (23%) in men ges.gif25 years.

Overall prevalence of hsv-1 as a cause of genital herpes for both sexes and all ages:

In 1986-8, 33% of all positive swabs were due to HSV-1, rising progressively to 56% in 1998-2000.

Source:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC115212/

General figures:

Studies documenting the emergence of HSV-1 as a cause of primary genital herpes infections date to 1990, when HSV-1 was found to have replaced HSV-2 as the most common cause of genital herpes in Scotland. Studies published in 2000 reported that HSV-1 was the cause of 85% of all primary genital HSV infections in Sweden and 70%–90% of all first episodes of genital herpes in women younger than 21 in Norway. In the United States, a 2003 study found that the proportion of newly diagnosed genital herpes infections due to HSV-1 in a university student health service increased from 31% in 1993 to 78% in 2001.

Source:

http://www.skinandallergynews.com/news/across-specialties/single-article/hsv-1-is-likely-cause-of-new-genital-infections-current-prevalence-estimates-including-only-hsv-2-may-greatly-underestimate-the-amount-of-genital-herpes/ae5e2e9376.html

In U.S. college students:

A retrospective review of genital herpes simplex virus (HSV) isolates collected in a university student health service over a 9-year period showed that an increasing proportion of isolates were HSV-1 rather than HSV-2. HSV-1 accounted for 78% of all genital isolates in this population by 2001, compared with 31% of isolates in 1993.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14520181

In recent years, an increasing proportion of genital herpes cases have been found to be caused by the type 1 virus, particularly in the United Kingdom

Another study, looking at genital shedding of hsv-1 and hsv-2 in pregnant women (a study of pregnant women in general, not just ones with hsv) showed that, of those that were shedding hsv, 32% were shedding hsv-1 - and 47% of young women were shedding hsv-1 not hsv-2. This is despite the fact that hsv-1 sheds much less frequently than hsv-2, indicating higher infection rates than the shedding rates suggest.

http://jcm.asm.org/content/48/1/150.full

In Nova Scotia:

In Nova Scotia, 58.1% of 1,790 HSV isolates from genital lesion cultures in women were HSV-1;

in men, 36.7% of 468 isolates were HSV-1.9

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/std-mts/sti-its/pdf/504genherp-vhs-eng.pdf

In New Zealand:

Genital herpes due to HSV-1 has also become common; HSV-1 is the more frequent cause of primary genital herpes.

http://www.herpes.org.nz/pdfs/Epidemiology.pdf

Hope that sheds some light on it!

http://jcm.asm.org/content/48/1/150.full

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