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Hi, if anyone can offer advice, i'd REALLY appreciate it...

My girlfriend recently had her first outbreak of genital herpes. I have never had sores on my genitals but i do get cold sores. I'm very stressed out by how terrible i feel because i may have given her herpes.

But here are some other things that have happened preceding her outbreak:

1) She and I went to a very dodgy sauna and steam room. she was naked on the steam room tiles, sauna boards and also she sat on the toilet.

2) She had her vagina waxed a few days before (from another thread i see that this could add stress into an outbreak)

3) She missed her period for about 3 weeks--then when it came, she also had an outbreak.

4) I gave her oral sex a few days before she had her outbreak (before she got her period)

So I really need to know, can she can get HSV2 from my HSV1? (I didn't have a cold sore when i gave her the oral sex).

She's very distraught and feels I should help pay for her taking Valtrex every day of the year--$2000 in pharmacy bills.


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u gave it to her.

yes u can (no ifs, and or buts) get genital from someone who has it oraly.

u dont need to have a outbreak to spread it, its called shedding.

also u could have given it to her anyother time, and the missed period, stress, waxing could have just made it come out.

yes you should help her pay. shes your girlfriend, are you going to let her suffer because of you?

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if she got it on her genitals and it is from your cold sores then her blood tests should read HSV1 if thats what you have orally. If it reads HSV2 and you are negative for it then you did not give her it. Herpes HSV1 and HSV2 can be oral or genital. It seems you think HSV2=genital herpes only, but its not just genital. If your oral type is 1 and you know it is because of blood tests showing HSV1 antibodies, then if you gave it to her down below she would also show HSV1 antibodies, even though its in a different location. Same would be if you have HSV2 orally, then she would have antibodies to HSV2 as a result. See how that works. But yes, in short....what waxed said is absolutely true if you did give it to her. She's your girlfriend!

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I know we both had genital herpes and after giving/receiving oral sex...we know have oral herpes...so I don't see why you could pass it from genital to oral

and not oral to genital.

So yes I think you gave it to her...but hey..didn't she see cold sores on your mouth area before?? Than I'd say she partook in risky sexual behavior if she did...

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You're both adults

I'm sorry, but if you and her talked about this issue before you ever entered into a sexual act, she's partially responsible. It's not like she didn't know the risks. I'm sorry. None of us asked for this, but I bet that if I took a poll, the majority of the people here are NOT having their prescriptions costs paid for by the person that gave us this wonderful gift. I know that this may sound harsh, but it is what it is.

The guilt is going to lead you to do what you feel is right, so I say follow your heart.

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Bloody hell, what a wonderful idea - I'll ask my boyfriend to pay the costs I've incurred due to herpes - petrol, healthy (expensive sometimes) food, membership of the HSV association. Yeah right. She's angry and she wants you to pay - literally.

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tothefuture, Bloody hell. i love it. i needed a laugh. yes, i shall go dredge up my ex who is now married and ask him to the foot the lab bill i just received. did you know that for the HSVI & II blood test and Ig, Gg(?) whatever is like $400!!!! Not to mention damn Valtrex is some $600 for 60 days for those of us who are uninsured. Costly little pain in the ass this is...

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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