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GH is ruining my life

catgirl

By catgirl
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catgirl Honeycomb Member

catgirl

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I've been suffering from this for a bit over 4 years and can no longer take meds for it. I met my husband about a year after diagnosed and he does not have H. We had the whole conversation within the first few dates and he was fine with it. That was almost four years ago and he has since proposed and married me. I feel that he is totally unattracted to me now that I get OB more often. Everytime I get sick (I have something similar to my first OB, so it's pretty bad) he seems to work longer hours, not want to deal with it, etc. I got so fed up the other night, I contemplated leaving. I'm in so much pain, both emotionally and physically, and I have nobody to turn to. The fact that he doesn't care or doesn't want to deal with it is enough, but now he doesn't even seem attracted to me. I'm not unattractive, so I'm wondering if he is having second thoughts now. Don't men like want it all of the time? It wan't like this a few years ago.

Does anyone have a similiar situation? I feel like I'm heading for a really bad place and I have no idea who to turn to.

Thanks.

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InShock Honeycomb Member

InShock

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I'm sorry hun... sounds like you are going through a really rough patch. I understand how you feel. I keep having to reject guy friends and guys I'm dating because I can't bear the thought of the rejection I am sure to face when I tell them. I can't imagine how it must feel to know it's your husband who feels grossed out. I think you definitely need to talk to him though. Good luck sweetie.

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BoxofRain Acknowledged Support Member

BoxofRain

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does he have it? has he been tested over the years, or recently? he should get a blood test even if he has no symptoms if you have been together this long. Anyway, it must be so hard to go through this...but are you sure its the herpes outbreaks that are causing him to be distant and work longer hours? the best route is to approach him about it in a calm manner and tell him your feelings, your concerns and see how he reacts or what he says. take it from there.....we are all here for you no matter what!

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catgirl Honeycomb Member

catgirl

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Thank you both. No he doesn't have it, we are extremely careful. But he has also never been tested. I would love to talk with him about it, but I was so mad the other night, I accused him of being gay, so we are not talking at the moment. He was also brought up to be completely void of all feelings, which I was unaware of until recently.

Thanks for being there for me:)

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  • 2 weeks later...
hopingseeking Established Member

hopingseeking

Posted
Posted
Thank you both. No he doesn't have it, we are extremely careful. But he has also never been tested. I would love to talk with him about it, but I was so mad the other night, I accused him of being gay, so we are not talking at the moment. He was also brought up to be completely void of all feelings, which I was unaware of until recently.

Thanks for being there for me:)

I'm still quite young, so excuse my audacity, but. It seems like there's a bigger issue hiding behind the herpes issue. I would say shell out money for marriage counseling. Either that or sit down with two boxes of tissues, and work out what's really at hand. Good luck!

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shocked2hear Honeycomb Member

shocked2hear

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Communication

I think it is only right that someone just lay it out in the open. Without proper communication the relationship will not continue. Both of you must sit down and get everything out in the open or the both of you need to seek marriage counseling. If the two of you don't then things are bound to head for the D word. How long have the two of you been married, only a year? Sometimes after the honeymoon period ends in a relationship both have a hard time dealing. This does not mean that you were not meant to be together, but only means that the channels of communication really need to be opened up.

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ETRUMP Honeycomb Member

ETRUMP

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Believe it or not I think your rough patches are due to something other than your H. And all guys dont want it all of the time, no matter how good looking you are. It may have nothing to do with you. Why not seek some individual therapy to make sure you are OK with you, and maybe that will help everything else. Also remember to do enjoyable things in your life seperate from your spouse. Hope things get better for you

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