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Guest Anonymous

I went to the doctor yesterday and was told i might have herpes. the first thought that went through my mind was, how? following that, i was scared to think that my partner for 8 years would cheat on me. the doctor assured me though, that having herpes does not mean your partner is cheating. they said it could be something that he or I cought prior to our relationship. since this is my body, i know i have not been unfaithful to him. the only sexual contact i had prior to him was one oral sex expeience, which was two years prior to our relationship, which makes it about 10 years ago. if indeed i've contracted herpes from that experience, why do i have the outbreak right now? is it normal to have an outbreak 10 years after being infected? i am confused....

i asked my partner and he denies it. i don't know what to believe. he got mad just because i even had the thought that he would cheat on me. right now i am battling this alone. i just want to understand how i got it.

if i contracted it from that experience, i want to know if it it common or likely that i don't show until now.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Anonymous

Did he cheat??

I found out last month that I have herpes and I have been with my husbad for 6 years. My doctor told me that it doesn't mean that my husband cheated and that either one of us could have acquired it before we were together. But how common is that? Is it more it likely that the virus has been sitting dormat in one or both of our systems and suddenly showed an out break so many years later or is more likely that he may have cheated (I know that I didn't cheat) and now I am paying the price of it. The saving grace is that I know my husband loves me and we have a great healthy relationship. But there is that nagging voice inside of me saying, "Oh you sweet naive woman." I just want to know if people have been in long term relationships and years later find out they have herpes.

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  • 2 weeks later...


I got an outbreak after about 5 days of sleeping with the guy who infected me so can't comment on getting a first outbreak in a long term relationship.

However, I did read somewhere that doctors can tell how long the virus has been in your system but doing a Western Blot blood test. Basically as soon as the virus enters your system, your body will start producing antibodies - hence why many people experience less often and less severe outbreaks over time. Therefore, if you have a high antibody count, the chances are you could have well been infected before you met your current long-term partner.

To everyone: if this is inaccurate, please feel free to correct me on this as I'm no expert!

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      Hi @Anxious 1234 Did you get diagnosis for this?
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      Hi @WhatDidIDo2023, hopefully all is well with you and your significant other and are still together.   Did she develop any other symptoms after you mentioned her getting itchiness? Was it determined what you had was contagious? Most likely developed a fungal disease and caused her a yeast or uti 
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      Well thank you I appreciate it 
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