scared and confused

[Guest Anonymous]

I went to the doctor yesterday and was told i might have herpes. the first thought that went through my mind was, how? following that, i was scared to think that my partner for 8 years would cheat on me. the doctor assured me though, that having herpes does not mean your partner is cheating. they said it could be something that he or I cought prior to our relationship. since this is my body, i know i have not been unfaithful to him. the only sexual contact i had prior to him was one oral sex expeience, which was two years prior to our relationship, which makes it about 10 years ago. if indeed i've contracted herpes from that experience, why do i have the outbreak right now? is it normal to have an outbreak 10 years after being infected? i am confused....

i asked my partner and he denies it. i don't know what to believe. he got mad just because i even had the thought that he would cheat on me. right now i am battling this alone. i just want to understand how i got it.

if i contracted it from that experience, i want to know if it it common or likely that i don't show until now.

[2bhealthy]

Your boyfriend gave it to you. don't let him send you on a mental trip like that. You KNOW that you didn't sleep around. His defense to me is totally suspect. If this were NEW to him, than I would think that he is wondering is HE also affected and should HE seek treatment, cause he could have gotten it from you (in his eyes). He seems to be more concerned about whether you are "accussing" him of something vs. yours and his health.

My old dudes reaction was like that too. My point is, if a person knows that have done NOTHING wrong than their reaction would be WHO? WHAT?

WHEN? WHERE? HOW? AM I DYEING?....................ETC

Not the ol'............" are you accusing me of cheating"

That is lame. I hope I made sense.

[Guest Anonymous]

Not so fast

My partner and I have been in a monogomous relationship for over two years, and she just came down with herpes. I do not have genital herpes, have never had it, and I know with certainty she has been completely faithful. Most likely is oral as I have a history of cold sores, even though we are extremely careful, and abstain when I have an outbreak which is extremely rare for me. In any case, the doctors tell us that the more they know about Herpes, the more they learn that they don't know.

It is irresponsible for you to have the reply that tells this person their partner "gave it to them." Shame on you, since you really don't know what you are talking about.

[Guest Anonymous]

dont be fooled

im sorry sweety - but your partner was not faithful. i am truly sorry. my experience is the same.

[bocephalus]

getting it

i received herpes from a woman who had always been totally asymptomatic, and had never passed it on (to her knowledge) to any of her former lovers. (just lucky, i guess) so...perhaps the partner was an asymptomatic carrier and then one day, blammo!

[Guest Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months and we've both been completely faithful, yet we both ended up with herpes. My initial reaction was to blame him and suspect that he'd been cheating, but considering that his outbreak was FAR more severe than mine, we think it's more likely that I gave it to him. All I can figure is that some of those "feminine itches" that I've had in the past weren't really just yeast infections... Which means that I was completely loyal and quite possibly passed it to him.

Do some reading.... you'll find that about 2/3 of people with herpes don't even have any symptoms, and people can go a LONG time between outbreaks. It's quite possible that one of you caught it eight years ago before you started dating, and now you're finally having an outbreak.

Unless your guy has given you other reasons to suspect that he's cheating, this is no reason for you to think that he is.

[Guest Anonymous]

there is a chance that your bf did not cheat on you. although it is unlikely that you got herpes from ur oral experience 10 years ago. i got herpes from oral sex and i had my outbreak within 4-6 days, which is the normal time. this still doesnt mean that he cheated on you. if he has had a history of coldsore, or you have, then this could have been the way the virus was passed. There is also otherwise that he or you may have got a coldsore recently and then passed it through oral sex. coldsores can be transmitted by somthing as simple as sharing a drink or lipstick with an infected person. it is a tough thing to deal with and you will need the support of your bf.

[Guest Anonymous]

there is a chance that your bf did not cheat on you. although it is unlikely that you got herpes from ur oral experience 10 years ago. i got herpes from oral sex and i had my outbreak within 4-6 days, which is the normal time. this still doesnt mean that he cheated on you. if he has had a history of coldsore, or you have, then this could have been the way the virus was passed. There is also otherwise that he or you may have got a coldsore recently and then passed it through oral sex. coldsores can be transmitted by somthing as simple as sharing a drink or lipstick with an infected person. it is a tough thing to deal with and you will need the support of your bf.