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my fiance is making it hard

standbyme

By standbyme
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standbyme Newbie

standbyme

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can any one help me. i am recently engaged. my ficance also has gential herpes. the both of us is going on a year from onset. but he is still finding it hard to deal with it. i also find it hard at times but i dont let it get me down. i just want to know how do i help him deal with the fact that its not going away and we have to move on? when we talk about he brings me down. sometimes i feel like maybe i should the way he does, sorry for myself. but i dont and it kind of weighs on our relationship. do any one have advice on that.

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daisy#1 Honeycomb Member

daisy#1

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I think therapy might be a good idea too if he's open to it.

I am seeing a therapist after my diagnosis just to help me get my thoughts in order. It really can help.

Good luck.

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shocked2hear Honeycomb Member

shocked2hear

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Trying to help

Some people are open to therapy and others are not. If he is not, then don't continue on the subject it will not help. I don't know how open you are about talking to each other about it, but if you are and he opt out of therapy then it might be helpful to do some research on the topic together. I know this sounds weird, but for some it is very helpful. It might help him to see that research is being done on this and there is future hope in some kind of cure. Also letting him know that this is not something to identify himself might be helpful. Sit down together one night and if the research thing is not helpful, say that to him and then tell him that you really care about him and would like to know how he feels. Sometimes you saying nothing and just listening is a therapy in itself for the person. I really don't know him and don't know what would work best for him, but getting him into therapy would be good if it is an option.

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ETRUMP Honeycomb Member

ETRUMP

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Some other things you can do would be excerise together, maybe take up a new hobbie together. He probably is a little depressed and other than therapy start doing some positive things together, so he can get out of being bummed about it. You are not wrong for not feeling sorry for your self. Things could definitely be worse!

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