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just when I thought I was.....


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coping fairly well with the news that I have HSV2 this happens....I have been dating someone for about a year now. He and I were just getting to know each other when I was diagnosed (a year ago). Since we have been dating, we have constantly be dealing with the issue of his fear of being infected. Well just the other day someone he knows (who does not know of my situation) jokingly says he has herpes in his eye because he has had a blood clot in his eye for about a week now. So of course he starts freaking out. He goes on to tell me how he discovered a hair bump in his genital area last week in additon to the blood clot so he wonders if he may actaully have contracted the virus and transferred it to his eye. After discussing it . I realized he was being insane with his thoughts. It was actually a hair bump (he shaves below & he pulled the ingrown hair and the bump went away). futhermore, we use more protection then the people who work in chemical plants. I take meds daily, we use condoms, he wear boxers everytime we are intimate, refrain from intimacy when I'm having an outbreak (which has not occured in the past year, I have had HSV for about 10 years so I'm sure I have enough anti-bodies built up). None the less, we are back at square one. Dealing with this whole herpes issue as we did when I first told him about my diagnosis. I have asked him why does he continue to deal with me if this situation bothers him so much. He always replies because "your other qualities out way this one small issue, but I just can't seem to get over this fear." So these are my issues...everytime we have a deep discussion in regards to his fears I become upset and depressed. Now, while I am ok discussing any type of educational insight as it pertains to HSV. Its something about these conversations, about him being fearful of contracting this virus, that take me right back to those feelings I had when I was first diagnosed. This whole situation really puts a damper on our relationship. Everything else between us is great but we just can't seem to get over this herpes hurdle. Has anyone ever experienced this before? I'm really at a cross road in trying to decide what to do with this relationship. As I said everything else is great but our sex life suffers because of this and I'm starting to feel like if we haven't overcome this obstacle in the last year maybe we never will. I ofter hear most people say that relationships normally don't breakup because one person has HSV, instead it is usually other things. However this just does not seem to be the case.

Just in case anyone is confused. I was diagnosed (via blood test) 1 year ago. But I'm 99% sure I contrated the virus about ten years ago.

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Why not bring him to your doctor, and have him ask the doctor any questions he may have. When coming from a DR he may be able to accept the answers more readily.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Really? How do you know it was 10 years ago?

Were you asymptomatic all that time? I thought that was the case with me, but I was told that was the unlikely source given the time period lapsed.

Please advise. Thanks

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    • WilsoInAus
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      To give everyone confidence that it wasn’t herpes related and conclude as the doctor did that it was a dermatitis issue to refer back to the dermatologist to continue with investigations.
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