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hi everyone,

I actually found out about a year ago I'm positive for one and two. I was pretty shocked because there was only one time that I think I probably had a problem, and it didn't incude any sores. So I consider myself very lucky, thus far. Although, I'm sure my time is coming.

I was with a man that I was engaged to and he lied to me about being tested. His best friend's wife actually told me that she knew this man's ex wife gave him an std. I was already positive by the time she told me this detail. Although, I understand her not wanting to get involved I appreciated her telling me . I broke things off with him because he was dishonest with me.

I have several questions. I'm glad I found this , thanks.

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Betrayal is a hard thing to deal with, trust me I know. I was with a man for five years and he went on vacation and came back and then slept with me, while not telling me he had slept with someone else. When he did finally tell me he lied and told me that he had used a condom. The social stigma attached is a hard one to deal with. I am one just newly diagnosed with HSV II as of last month. I started having symptoms in January though they are mild. It is easy to say why me, but it doesn't change what we have. We have to remember it is just a infection a virus, but does not identify who we are. There are those that will understand, but unfortunately to my dismay the first man that I was to get involved with did not, but I feel in a sense this is a gift saving me from those that are ignorant and that do not care enough about me. I have educated myself quite well in the subject so if you would like to ask me anything feel free. I am a graduate student just starting my life and see this only as a bump in the road to make me stronger and I will choose whom I wish to date and will not be confided to herpes dating sites, which I feel place a scarlet letter upon me. I am too good for this. I did not ask for this, as you did not. Take life in strides and talk as much as you can to those that you trust.

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thanks, shocked.

You have a great outlook on this, as you probably do with most things that come a long. I'm trying. I'm in a relationship where the man I'm with is fine with it, and he is negative. I continue to ask him to use condoms. For one reason, if we should not stay together I would feel really bad about it if he became positive, then we split. But then again it's his choice, i have given him a choice. Unlike my ex with me. Sigh.

Thank you. I will have a ton of questions, I'm sure.


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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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