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Hey Guys, as you can probably guess I'm new here. Thought I would share to you guys what i have been through and maybe give me some words of comfort to help me live with what i have unfortunatly most probably got.

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy at a bar and we kissed (fuelled with alcohol!) i went back to his and we had oral sex. He wanted to have sex, i didnt, he had no condoms but not only that i was not ready to sleep with a guy i had known 2 minutes, im not that type of girl.

Anyway about 5 days ago i was itchy 'down there' and then noticed i was getting bumps, which then turned to sores. It was ok until sunday where i was in excruciating pain, this carried on all day monday, and this morning I went to see a doctor.

I told him i had never had sex (my mum was with me, but i tell her everything). He checked me over, took some swabs. He told me he thinks my assumption was right and that i most probably have genital herpes. I burst out crying uncontrollably, i was so glad my mum was there. he started going on about chlamidia, which annoyed me, because he didnt seem to believe i hadnt had sex before!! Bearing in mind im 18. He said there was a possibility that its a urinary infection, but he thinks genital herpes is more likely.

I am now just sitting at home so upset. I have a question, how come people i know sleep around having unprotected sex, and they are as clean as a whistle. I do ONE thing, which wasnt even having unprotected sex, and i get this. YES there is a chance i dont have it, but my doctor seems pretty certain, all i need to wait for are the results saying positive.

I also am really interested in a guy, hes interested in me too, what do i do now?? He will think im dirty and disgusting, its easy when the outbreak goes because i then use a condom, but many guys want girls to go on the pill..

This is so upsetting

Please cheer me up, and make me feel better about this condition, because i dont know how i can go on living my life like this.

Thank You

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ok, well I will try to give you a little advice but it seems you don't realize that having unprotected ORAL sex is just as risky as having unprotected vaginal sex..that said, I would like to tell you to wait until your test results confirm it, though it does sound like herpes to me.

It is so scary and shocking at first, I know....especially if you are young....it is never easy at any age. I feel that if you do have this diagnosis the best thing I can say for you is to take time and not just try and focus on what is going to become of the guy you mentioned you had feelings for. When initially diagnosed it is important to take time for yourself before worrying about future boyfriends. It is going to seem devastating and hopeless at first...for me it was anyway. It is something that seems to come in waves for many people.....different feelings: shock, denial, temporary acceptance, anger, fear, sadness, then a few days of feeling like things will be alright.... just a roller coaster of emotion which for me lasted a very long time and now almost 2 years later I still have the high-lows just not exactly like they were before.

It is going to be tough to accept but as much as it feels like it will ruin your life, it doesnt have to....it is all in how you try and look at it. Yes your life as you know it is forever changed, however, your life in general can still become happier and a feeling of acceptance is possible in the future. So, my advice is to worry about yourself, give yourself plenty of time before even considering what to do about that guy for now and just tell him you need some time because you are dealing with a lot of things in your life and feel it is best to focus on yourself and in the future who knows what may become of you and him, if anything, but it will only stress you out more focusing on him and your new diagnosis. In time, when you feel you have adjusted to the news a little better then venture down those roads. And do not feel that just because you have herpes that no one will want to be with you....it is hard to follow my own advice many times, but in order for you to remain sane during this initial period, you have to try and think of all of the possibilities and not just the negative ones. You are still very young and I have no doubt in my mind that you will indeed find someone who loves and cares for you regardless of your H status and when that happens it will be the right time. All I know so far in life is that life seems to throw obstacles at us whenever we fee we have just gotten control of our lives in other ways and that nothing seems fair, especially not this....but I have to believe there is some reason for such obstacles...though Im not sure exactly why. I am not going to tell you to cheer up or look on the brightside because everyone needs their own time to grieve, to deal with being diagnosed with this and to begin the healing process. I just want you to know that I am here to offer you kindness, support, and compasion and that I will never judge you, try and make you feel uncomfortable, or leave you hanging when you feel you need someome. So, feel free to private message me with any further questions and know you are not alone, as isolating as this can sometimes seem.

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I'm sorry to hear. I know it's hard, because, well, I'm in the same position, but just sit tight for your lab results. As for how to go on living, I'm not prepared to tell you how either, because I feel like if my tests come back positive, I don't know what I'll do either... This herpes stuff is hard....

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it takes time, but you will get better and soon will understand the virus more. having hsv doesn't mean you are a different person, it just means that now you need to be a more responsible person.

you have to be very aware of your actions, inform a partner about your hsv BEFORE any sexual contact with them, and it's something you'll have to practice for the rest of your life.

there are lots of people living out there with this disease, and talking about it with people who understand has helped me out a lot. it will get easier, just hang in there.

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It's not the end of the world, you'll feel better as time goes on. Remember, there are a lot of people who have the virus and don't even know they do, so anyone who passes judgement on someone else needs to educate themselves...you're not alone. We all know there's a stigma attached to many STD's, and this one has even more attached due to the fact it's incurable. I know of too many people (on this board and in person) who contracted this virus and thought they were taking every precaution. So anyone like yourself who has thought they were being careful or even been with one partner have found themselves in the same situation you are now. Best of luck to you, and keep positive.

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    • CHT
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    • FeelingLost75
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