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So Angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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This is my second post. Hi everyone. I was diagnosed last Wednesday with Herpes and lost my boyfriend as a result of telling him. I have not heard from him since. I did not know that I had the virus and I had sex with him multiple times. So, in a matter of two hours, I lost my normal sex life as I know it and the man who I thought I loved.

Since that time, I have been adjusting as well as can be expected. I cried for about four days and now I am pissed! My rage is unbelievable. I am so angry. I am sure that this too will pass in time. But I am just so pissed off.

My question is related to how I found out about having Herpes and if there may have been some mistake in the diagnosis. I know that this is very wishful thinking and I am 99% sure that I have it. I just wonder.

I had a sore that did not resemble anything I have read or heard of. It looked like an abraisian, very small but very sore after about a week. It appeared a few days after having sex with an ex-boyfriend. I had no itching, burning, fever, soreness or anything. The sore never had any puss in it, was not gray or yellow like I have read, never crusted over or anything.

I went to an urgent care clinic where a culture was completed. The doctor said that it did not appear as herpes but was sending it away anyway. He then prescribed Valtrex for me without a diagnosis. I went home and freaked out and went on internet sites and the whole bit. I contacted a local STD clinic and explained what had happened. The nurse told me that the doctor was extremely negligent in prescribing meds for something that wasn't diagnosed yet.

So I went to my family doctor who took one look at it and said that it did not appear to be the herpes virus but that he did not want me leaving his office thinking that it wasn't herpes based on his reaction and that i needed to wait for the culture.

So the culuture took an extremely long time and I ended up losing it with the urgent care clinic, calling them every day and having an anxiety attack. Finally the results were in and I tested positive for the virus.

I am just wondering if the culture is the most accurate test and if anyone would recommend a second test. I have had no OB except that one sore and I understand that that is all it takes.

Any advice would be helpful. Thank you

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I'm sorry to hear what happened with you and your bf. Regardless of what happens between you two, he should get tested in case he has herpes too.

As for your diagnosis... a POSITIVE viral culture test is usually considered accurate. However, if you want to have more confidence in your diagnosis, go get a herpes type-specific blood test done. That's considered 99% accurate.

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This is my first outbreak - just found out yesterday - can't discuss with my partner as he is unavailable for 6 weeks - alcohol rehab - for me and of course mainly himself, but I was a big factor - he checked in on Monday - and I found out on Monday - what a mess - but I have had viral warts in the past - they have finally cleared - my obgyn says they have finally run their course - but I know they are also a virus that can lay dormant - but he feels very confident that they will not re-occur since it has been so many years since I have had an outbreak.

I am CERTAINLY no expert- but I wonder if the next time you go in for any kind of visit or treatment if this is something you should bring up - as they are very common and from what you described in your post - it kind of reminded me of what mine looked like many years ago....just something to consider. They are not nearly as painful as herpes - believe me and can easily be removed by freezing or burning - not nearly as painful as is sounds and usually don't cause near the trouble that I am reading that herpes does.

Good luck - if you would like to converse more - feel free - I am as lost as you are - if not more. Sorry to hear about the loss of you BF - who knows what in the world will happen with mine - detox and if he breaks out at the same time - man what a mess......can't talk to him for at least 10 days and that is if he behaves!

I have no-one, no-one I can share any of this with so I feel so lost and depressed right now....and in soooooo much pain.....can't even pee hardly at all I am so swollen and have so many blisters......I would rather have a child again than to go through this....I feel dirty, used. and just awful - and am now waiting for the pissed off part to come and really dread it as I have quite a temper.....

Best of luck to you in this battle we are now sharing!

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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