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Just found out yesterday that I have genital herpes. This outbreak is HORRIBLE - I am in so much pain I can hardly stand it. Urinating is absolutly killing me as is sitting.

I am so angry at myself and the guy who I am seeing - who SWORE he was clean - so stupid to believe him. He left yesterday for a 6 month treatment center for alcohol abuse after much discussion and persuasion from me to try and get clean. I had planned to be there and support him through this, but now am wondering if it is really worth it since this has happened. And if he has an outbreak while in rehab - what will he think - I am almost positive that he had to be the one that gave it to me (99% sure anyway) - I feel so stupid for not using protection, but have been lucky for so long - but now my luck has run out and boy am I paying the price. I am wondering if this is as painful for men as it is for women, as I have never experienced anything as painful except after the birth of my son 18 years ago.

I have severe immune deficiency problems as it is already and am so afraid of the long healing time I may not have to indure, as I did not know what was going on and did not catch the initial outbreak very early. And am afraid due to my comprised immune system that I will have severe frequent attacks.

I have absolutely NO ONE I can talk to about this - no-one. All of my friends are married, in stable relationships and they already think I am too far out there and worry about my behavior as it is. My mother know I am having problems and now I am having to come up with some kind of wild story to tell her to keep her from finding out the truth. I hate the lies to her and keeping this from everyone.

Is there anyone listening???????

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I'm here, and I'm listening.

I too believe I may have genital herpes. I recently developed an 'itch' that I wrote off as a yeast infection or bacterial infection. I took oral medications to treat both, things seemed slightly (if not completely) improved. I had sex a few days ago and the 'itch' seemed to redevelop, last night I examined my genitals and discovered several small, open ulcers directly under my clitoris, inside the lips of my labia minora. Truth be told, I'm scared to death. My partner swore up and down he was tested for all STD's last month and completely clean, and he has been my only partner since being tested several months ago for any and all STDs (including IgM and IgG blood tests), where I was negative for all STDs. I'm angry, I'm depressed, and I feel cheated by life. I can not be 100% sure that I have HSV, though all symptoms point in that direction, and it flat out sucks. In truth, right now it seems like death would be easier than dealing with the stigma of a lifelong infection. Yet, the more rational side of myself, argues that it's really not anything life-threatening, just something that is life-altering...it's a change that despite not wanting to embrace, I may just have to.

I too wonder about the worth of my relationship now; as you said "is it really worth it". I feel lied to and cheated, even though I know he may be unaware of having it...or perhaps that I was a carrier all along and just didn't know it until now. Either outlook seems grim to me right now. How can I even begin to speak to him about this? I've always been a bit of a "prude" by today's standards when it came to taking on a new sexual partner, and unless in a fully commited (and clean) long-term relationship, I've practiced safe sex. It seems unfair that a girl with five partners can contract something which seems so...dirty. I'm angry at God for allowing it to happen! How is it that I can be so careful and catch something while my friends who have slept with ten times the number of men I have (often times without any protection) don't?! The social stigma of (possibly) having an STD is overwhelming; I know I'm not a whore, yet everyone seems to think that when encountering someone who carries a disease. I'm a confident, driven woman...but the possibility of being shouldered with a "dirty" infection is crushing me...I don't feel like eating or even getting out of bed. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because part of me wants to ignore the situation and another part of me is afraid of the "lecture" and judgements they might make.

I too feel isolated, like I have no one to talk to. How can you even begin to find ways to bring it up to your family and friends? I don't want to burden anyone with my sorrows, but most of all, I don't want to be unfairly judged. I too, hate the position I'm finding myself in.

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peeing> do it in a warm bath tub. it is sooooo much better then sittin on the toilet in tears.

and if u can lay down, go for it. i layed in bed for a month only gettin up to go to the bathroom/wash etc.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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