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Am i destined to never be loved again?

Lost_Girl

By Lost_Girl
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Lost_Girl Newbie

Lost_Girl

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Posted

Hi , im new here, it's been 18 months since i found out i had H .... my bf of 6 years had been cheating on me. It has devastated my life. The symptoms are nothing..but what it has done to my state of mind and my hopes for my future are devastating. Am i alone now? is this it? will no man ever accept me again? In 18 months i have never talked about this with anyone, and right now as i write this, i am crying, i feel a release at being here...is this the first step to accepting? ... Is there anyone out there who is further on in their acceptance who can offer me any kind of support, reasurrance, anything, even a friendly word, as i feel so alone! Im a strong woman, and nobody knows what this has done to me, but inside i am at war!

Thank You

Lost_Girl

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shocked2hear Honeycomb Member

shocked2hear

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I just found out this year the 24th of February that I had HSV II. I thought I had it in January. My ex of five years cheated on me last November while he was on vacation and came back and gave this to me.

I found by educating myself about herpes and by using the support of my friend's and family it makes things easier. I am not willing to accept that I will not have a normal life due to this. Herpes does not define who I am. I will be successful and find someone to love me for who I am. I feel now that there is nothing that I can do to change this and I must accept this or will have regrets later. You cannot go back in the past and change things, so it is better to look at it as a positive, rather than a negative no matter how hard it may be.

Think about it along the lines in how it will help you to weed out those who are not worth dealing with. One who loves you will accept you for all that you are, with all your defects. When you are to start a relationship, you don't have to tell the person right away. Let them start to build a relationship with you and start to care for you, then tell them, which will allow them to be more accepting. If they do not accept it, then you don't want them anyway. I have already went through this with a guy that I really cared about and now we are only friend's. I hope that I could help.

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drew Newbie

drew

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No my friend! You will not be alone just for that! My new girlfriend has it and didn't bother to tell me!! Honestly, if she had, it wouldn't have made any difference! BUT....since she didn't, and exposed me to it twice, and I still don't have any signs(3 wks), I just dont know about her. But PLEASE DON"T GIVE UP HOPE!!!!!!

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tothefuture Acknowledged Support Member

tothefuture

Posted
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Drew, you're right not to feel sure about her. It's sad really, becasue if she'd told you, as you say, it wouldn't have made any difference. However, she DID know she had it and NEVER told you. She can't be trusted simple as that.

Truley hope she hasn't passed it on to you.

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SmilingThroughTheRain Honeycomb Member

SmilingThroughTheRain

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Stay strong

One thing i have learned through my recent discovery that i have herpes is never give up. Some days will seem bleak and hopeless and you may want to give up but there are so many things to look forward to. People today are not only more educated about Herpes but they are also more understanding. Its hard to deal with finding out you have herpes but to also find out about your long term boyfriend cheated on you makes things worse. There are good people out there, and even though we dont like it sometimes things need to happen like this to make use stronger and realize and how much we have to live for. Dont keep things bottled up. If you have a close friend or relative, tell them. It's a huge weight off your chest. Your not alone. I found out i was positive with genital herpes 2 months ago and things havent been easy, but its nice to know that there are forums like this on the web where you can talk about your feelings and will find people who understand what your going through. Someday you will find someone who will love you and respect you for the wonderful person you are and wont care that your positive. Just stay strong and keep talking :)

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hermit416 Honeycomb Member

hermit416

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i think what im learning now is that the sooner ya get out there and just accept that you have H....the sooner ya come to grips with it and then you can continue to move on to having a happier and more secure life with someone. Ive had it for 15 years now and since the day i first found out i had deemed myself alone forever, that was it for me. I tried for years to not get to know anyone cuz i was so embarrassed and discusted and all that with myself and having H.... and to share that info with someone...omg just cant do it. I have met someone now who loves me and i love him so much that it breaks my heart and i just wanna say good bye and send him on his marry way so that i dont have to tell him. I understand that if i tell him and he cant handle it and decides to say good bye,

then he didnt love me enough to learn about it or whatever

but him bein the first person in 15 years that i will have ever told will make me want to go over the edge if he takes it badly.

Does anyone have encouraging words or even ways i can bring it up to him cuz i really dont ever want to lose him.

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    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
    • FeelingLost75
      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      GHSV1 has be going crazy

      By TS4real · Posted

      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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