devastated

[unsuspecting]

I was just told that my hsv test was positive, and went to have another blood draw to find out which virus is in my blood. I am scare out of my mind, I let my current partner know, and there is nothing but dispair and horror between us. I can't get out of bed, and have been sick since I found out today. The real horror, I have never had an outbreak or a cold sore in my life!!! How do I know if I can transmit this to my kids or to my partner? What do I do until then? I have had so many irrational thoughts and feelings that I am afraid to make a move.

[shocked2hear]

Your partner may already have it, if you have had unprotected sex. Regardless your partner should get tested. As for having kids, you should not worry about passing it on to your kids in the future when you decide to have them. I feel the best thing to do until you find out which one is educate yourself on both HSV I & II. The internet contains tons of information on the subject.

Feel free to ask any specific questions that you may have here and browse here as well.

[BoxofRain]

I know its shocking but it is extremely common to never have symptoms and to be totally unaware you are carrying the viurs for years.....or your partner could have been carrying the virus for years without symptoms or knowing either. It is so shocking to hear because like you, never had a symptom, nothing.......my boyfriend was shocked to find out he had it after us being in a monogamous relationship for 3 years at the time when i randomly got symptoms of a yeast infection.......went to the doctor and said just to be sure would give me a blood test for herpes and i almost fell off the table.........how the hell could that be possible? but it was sadly....indicative of a new infection and he got tested and had older antibodies determined by the level in his system.....so its just crazy. I read somewhere recently that 65% of diagnosed herpes cases occur in people who have no symptoms and no idea they could even have been carrying it.....so please know you are not alone and that there are millions of people experiences the same feelings, emotions, and situation you are right now. There are people here who care so please vent about it whenever you need to because this is not an easy thing to be told in life. wishing you support and courage...

[unsuspecting]

Thank you so much for being so open. I have been married twice and my second husband and father of my two youngest children was a rolling stone, so there is no tellling how or when I contracted the virus. I am also dating now after being a mother and have had several partners who have engaged in oral sex with me, without using protection. There are so many ways I could have contracted the virus that I feel overwhelmed. I am also a healthcare provider and have come in contact with patients everything from herpes to HIV. In September, I got stuck with a used needle. Could this too be a source of infection?

[zzadj22]

Herpes is not transmitted through the blood, so no, being stuck with a needle did not pass the HSV virus to you. However, if you have not been tested for HIV and Hepatitis, I would suggest doing so. It's rare to contract and infection from a quick stick, but it isn't impossible, so it's better to be safe than sorry.

As for trying to figure out when you may have picked the virus up, I wouldn't worry yourself over it too much, as it may be impossible to ever be sure. I would highly advise you to contact all of your past sexual partners and tell them to get tested, so those who may be carrying it don't continue to pass it on to unsuspecting victims.

As for your children they are perfectly safe. If they're still so young that you have to bathe them, just make sure you wash your hands carefully before touching them, especially when cleaning their genitals. Make sure you clean up any bodily fluids you may accidently get on the toliet seat (while transmission through contact like that is rare, if the timing is right it can happen). Also, having HSV does NOT prevent you from having more children in the future, but be sure to alert your obstretician of your infection, as women shouldn't deliver vaginally while having an outbreak.

As for your partner, he should also be tested. Genital contact can put him at high risk of contracting the virus. Should he test negative, you two need to sit down and create a game plan to decide if he wants to lower his risk of catching the virus by using condoms or not. Also, be sure to abstain from any and all sexual contact while having an outbreak.

In the mean time, just take care of yourself and your emotional health. Stressing, just feeds the virus since it lives in your nervous system. I suggest researching the virus as much as you can and making informed choices about what is right for you. HSV is a lifelong companion, but it doesn't take away anything from who you are, and being educated makes it much easier to cope with having the virus.

[unsuspecting]

Outbreaks

I have honestly never had a cold sore or vaginial, thigh, or buttocks lesions. So, how do I know when I am "active" enought to transmit the virus to my partner? He is getting tested on Tuesday and I know whether I am infected with type 1 or 2 by Friday. Oh, by the way, we talked and we have decided to stay together.

[zzadj22]

It's not rare to never have an outbreak (or one bad enough to notice) of any sort while carrying the virus, that's what makes it so readily transmitted (since a majority of carriers don't even know they're spreading it). Perhaps you may get lucky and never have an outbreak in your life, but that doesn't mean you can't or won't spread it accidently. HSV passes so easily because you don't have to have any signs or symptoms to spread it (this is called asymptomatic transmission). There is no way to be sure when your body is shedding the virus, so it's important to always practice safe sex and inform your partner of your infection. Be sure to also remember that while a condom decreases the chance of passing HSV to your partner, it doesn't always prevent it. I recommend reading as much as you can about the virus and tips for having a relationship while living with it. I wish you and your boyfriend all the best luck.