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Concerned father


concerned father

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Greetings to all

I was recently informed by my 27 year old daughter about her H 2 condition. She is now experiencing her first active outbreak and is very sadden with the reality of her condition. I am very supportive of my daugther and want to help counsel her during this extremely difficult time and keep her spirits up and positive. She has many questions about the condition, especially about informing her present boyfriend about it and how to handle it without spreading the virus to him and others. Any information on these concerns would be greatly appreciated. Learning to live with H 2 is so important and I want my daughter to go forward in life and to think that the world isn't ending for her.

Thanks to all

Dad

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I saw that no one responded yet and I want you to know that it's impressive to me that you're being thoughtful enough to try to help her through this. Here is a link to an article that I found really helpful.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_simplex_1_and_2.htm

I have a child who is 25 and I don't know how I'd deal with something like this but I've always been very open and honest about human sexuality.

That said when I was young my parents were not open minded. They were very quick to judge and come to negative conclusions without ever asking me what happened or what I needed that would help me.

My advice is to find out what you can by way of research and listen to your daughter and find out what she needs. Find out how she feels. Find out what you can do, if anything, that will make things more normal for her.

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Just an after thought.

Why is your daughter so sure that she is the one who has caused this? I have found that most people get infected by people who either don't know they have it because they don't have symptoms or from someone who is purposefully holding back the information.

I hate the blame game because it doesn't change anything. By the way there are some articles on how to tell your partner about herpes on this website but I haven't read them so I don't have the link for you.

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I turn 27 in a few days myself, and I couldn't even IMAGINE discussing this with my parents. When I was younger, I was diagnosed with HS2, I had the sores in my mouth and down my throat, and I remember how painful it was. I still have those outbreaks every couple years, and they make me miserable. My parents know I have those. I could never tell them about the genital herpes though. I'm just not on that kind of a playing field with my parents. Its very encouraging to me that you are so concerned about your daughter. She is probably terribly frightened and upset by it, and just being there for her, and doing some research for her, probably is helping things 1000%.

I would encourage her to sign up for this message board. She can ask some of the tough, embarrassing questions and get answers. Just be there and be supportive... I have been in the most agonizing pain with all sorts of complications for the past 2 weeks, and its difficult enough getting my boss and my coworkers to be sympathetic (without telling them my diagnosis) and to get my friends and roommates to just give me space without asking questions. I bet she just wants to lay in bed and hope for the pain and discomfort to go away... respect her space if she asks for it. I couldn't even deal with talking on the phone, and my parents were so worried something was majorly wrong.

Props to you, for coming on here. I hope more knowledgable people are able to help you!

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I turned 26 not too long ago and had my boyfriend of five years cheat on me and give me HSV II. This has been very devastating for me considering I was just diagnosed at the end of February this year. The support of your parents is more than you could ever ask for. My mother was a virgin when she got married to my father and I had no idea how she would react when I told her, but she acted as it was no big deal and made me feel that I would still find someone and that I had a lot to offer. It made me feel so good to have the support of my mother in that respect. I on the other hand could not tell my father, I love him dearly and are very close to him, but I am a little closer to my mother when it comes to that kind of stuff.

I can't speak for your daughter, but it seems you have already gone above and beyond by offering your support for her. My mother's acceptance was more than enough to make me feel like this was not a big deal. You are a wonderful person for doing this for your daughter.

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this post actually made me cry. but that's not a bad thing. you remind me of my father- supportive, kind and loving. i haven't had the guts to tell my dad yet. i just wanted to say how moved and impressed i am that you're making this effort to help your daughter through this.

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yea, major props to dad!!! I think it is so cool that your daughter is able to come to you with what is a very difficult and sometimes embarrasing situation and can talk to you. She is so lucky to have the kind of relationship with her father where she can talk to you and share her life experiences, both the good and the bad.

My father is like this as well, so I too feel blessed. Although I never told him about having herpes, I am sure that if I did, he would be helpful and supportive.

Props to dad! and I hope that you and your daughter find the information that she needs here.

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Help is right here too

Hey guys...

Concerned Father... I must add my cheers to you for being so supportive of your daughter. Because right now she feels as if the world has betrayed her and she does need that support. I live by myself and I can tell you of the loneliness I feel when it comes to this. I dont have that support structure like some of you but my ex girlfriend gave me a lot of support and really really helped when I got my results and just wanted to die...and I think if she was not there and showed me that great deal of love and support, I would have been devastated.

There is alot of information available on the internet on living with HSV. This website has quite a lot on it including meds you can order and take, what to look out for in your diet. and This discussion forum.

Everyone one these forums are Type 1/2 or both... I do support the recommendation for your daughter to sign up for the forums and begin talking. this is where she will know that she is not alone...

So many people have HSV and dont even know it. But here you can talk openly, freely with persons just like her. She just has to expell what is on her mind and someone will respond, guaranteed. She can ask all the questions she wants to ask. I dont think there is anything she can ask that most of us have not been through.

She needs to start to talk. Its not the end of her world. There are suppression meds and simple things she can do to try to control the outbreaks. Stress can induces outbreaks and right now we know she is stressed out.

I just came home...I went out...it felt good to be out...hanging out..get my mind of of things I cannot alter...de-stress.

I promise I will respond again but right now I need to sleep

Your daughter is alive...she needs to know that...we're all here. We want to help, we can help. despite you helping her, she also has to help herself.

Later 4 now.

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