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Well I have just been told that i have genital herpes im only 17 and im so scared I dont know what to do. I think that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I dont know what to do or how to cope. im just so lost

If anyone can help me please let me know

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I'm sorry Kate. I just got diagnosed at 22, only 6 months after I started having sex, so we're kinda both in the same tragic boat. I feel the same "alone for rest of life" feelings at you. It's a hard thing to deal with, no question about that, but... I'm told it will get better. Just stick with it. Message me if you want any help/advice/etc. Good luck!

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hardly alone

As a physician with HSV, and one that has treated hundreds of patients with various HSV infections..let me be the first to say you are not alone.

Studies show 30-50 % of all sexually active americans are infected with or at least exposed to HSV.

Only one third of those are aware of it.

This raises a lot of questions when diagnosing and treating HSV (if one third of patients already have antibodies to the disease, how can you reliably tell when they were exposed?) Only 5-10 % of THOSE patients are aware of the diagnosis. Most don't have outbreaks, have very mild outbreaks, or are women that have cervical outbreaks that have not been observed or diagnosed. So most of the time people with HSV continue on in blissful denial.

What does all this mean? Well I'm not suggesting you ignore your HSV status like the rest of the world does, its simply meant as education and to put the facts in perspective.

One point is that you are not alone and there are many people, good people like you, that are in the same boat, whether they know it or not.

Education would be the key to making the rest of the country realize that HSV infection isn't the burden that its held up to be if one looks at the real information.


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I am a 26 year old female and are single, but do not feel that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Constantly I have men chase after me, but at this time I am not ready for a relationship after two recent failed relationships, one of five years and the other for a month, which was too soon in the first place. Yes I know at one point I will have to tell the man I choose to peruse a relationship about my status, but if he cares enough about me, he will accept me for all that I am.

Life does not end here. You are only 17, your life is just beginning and I feel in a sense mine is too. First you have to accept yourself as a person, no matter what anyone is to tell you, it will not change how you feel until you are to feel better about yourself. This I know, having had men hit on me my whole life, I felt ugly and fat and like I would have no one, regardless of what anyone was to tell me. Then I started to love myself as a person and see who I was and my self-esteem got a lot higher than what it was. Good luck in your endeavors and concentrate on yourself now rather than anyone else, remember that you are what's important and that you will make it far in life, you are the one to make your future. I hope I could help.

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I'm in exactly the same position. 17, been recently diagnosed. You won't be alone forever. My girlfriend hasn't given a rat's arse about it, as long as there are mature people in the world, you'll always find someone :)

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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