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babysbreath

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My name is Cindy and I just got a call from my doctors nurse saying that I am positive for the HSV virus. I have an appointment with my doctor the 22nds to discuss this. I have no idea how to tell my husband or what to say. WE have been together since 1991 and I have had no other partners. I would bet my life that he has not either. My doctor did tell me I could have had this for many years without knowing it. My question is how long is "years"? I was sexually active and not real responsible before I met my husband but I have never had any symptoms and it wasn't until my last pap that my doctor noticed a spot and ordered a blood test. How long can you have this before you start to have symptoms? I'm so scared to tell him, we have been through so much together and have a strong marriage but this....this is serious. I would really like some support on how to manage this. Thanks.

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hi Cindy, sorry to hear about your news. I think it's smart to go see the dr in person. You might like to write down a list of questions before you go to discuss when you are there.

I'd wait till I had some answers before I talked to my husband but that's me - I'm always the one who has to figure stuff out. That way if he has questions you are prepared or perhaps you'd feel more comfortable taking him to the appt too. That might make telling him easier.

You said you had a blood test was it herpes specific and did the dr say which type you have? Is it possible that you have coldsores? they are hsv1 usually.

You didn't mention if you've ever had an ob - if not maybe you won't. Usually people who get ob's get them very soon after infection. They could have been so small you never noticed. If you have had it for years research seems to indicate that ob's become less over time in frequency and severity.

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Years and years - when I phoned the HSV association they told me one of their members had caught it 15 years prior to their first OB - she'd been celibate during that time.

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Yes, we would also really need to know what type of Herpes it is to really offer any kind of advice. HSV-1 or HSV-2? If your husband has cold sores (HSV-1) then he may have given you a HSV-1 infection on your genitals through oral sex. So you see, both of you need to be tested so that you can figure this out.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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