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What is the one worst thing about your Herpes?


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What is the one worst thing about your Herpes?

The physical pain?

social stigma?


less sex / no sex?


trusting others?

less confidence?

fear of infecting others?

fear of infecting yourself more?

fear of immune system problems later in life?

fear that people will find out that you have herpes?


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The worst thing for me is the OCD I have developed since contracting herpes. I was always a bit of a germ phobia person, but nothing major, once I got herpes simplex 2, this fear was heightened. Extra washing/cleaning, etc. But then when I had my baby, I was overwhelmed with the need to perpetually wash my hands anytime before I touched the baby or the his belongings, bottles, etc. I was nursing at the time too, so this made it even more manic. I would bundle the baby up, not let him touch my skin (except the parts he had to.) It was crazy. Since I weaned him a while back, I have noticed that I am a bit more mellow (yet no less enthusiastic) about the handwashing.

I would assume this all stems from fear of passing it onto the baby. It is obviously psychosomatic. So fear of passing it onto another human being. I can DEAL with the pain and the outbreaks, hell even the Stigma. But the thought of transmitting it to someone else, especially accidently to such an innocent, would be devastating to me.

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Easy - permanence.

I could cope with ALL of the shit that this brings if it had an end point.

If I had a car with a fault I'd either get it repaired or get a new one. I can't get a new body.

I'm a do-er and a problem-solver and there's f**k all I can do about this. And it kills me - the helplessness. So yeah, it's the permanence of it.

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I totally agree with tothefuture...Permanence...knowing that I am stuck with this s*** for the rest of my life makes me want to scream. Not so much for myself in having to deal with the symptoms (mine are very minor), but knowing that I have to re-tale the tale every fricken time I date someone for the rest of my life makes me angry. I am in a relationship right now, but I think it is quickly going down hill. (He has known about it for the last nine months when I found out, but he refuses to deal with the issue and we are not having sex.) Knowing that I am going to have to tell more men in the future really pisses me the hell off! can you tell I'm a little agitated today?? lol

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hands down the permanence.........its never going away. Like the above posts.....I am a problem solver and no matter how hard, emotionally trying, or difficult situation there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.......an ending point to every situation EXCEPT for this....there is no end...

2nd fear infecting someone and not even be willing to risk infecting someone else if i did find someone who would accept me in the future.

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I am still in the early shock phase of herpes so I am sure much more thought on this topic will come into my mind in the years ahead. The permanence issue is what I have so far dreaded the most, but now I am thinking that the limitations I now have on building a family might be the worst. Dating, finding a wife, holding my wife, having a child, holding that child, kissing that child, all seem impossible now. I would gladly give up the later years of my life to the complications of herpes if I could spend the earlier years raising a happy family free from the restrictions of this disease.

I have always been health conscious and I've been very serious about fixing my health issues in recent years, so when herpes came up I can't forgive myself for being so stupid as to catch it. I was so focused on improving my mental and physical health and confidence and because of one stupid act all of that seems like a joke now. I'll have flu-like symptoms and OB's and stigma to deal with for the rest of my life.

Also, it seems like the good people get stuck with herpes while the bastards go around carefree infecting others like they have no responsibility for it.

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permenance for me..

im 25, and no body other then my current partner and ex partner know about my little indiscretion..

im stuck with this stigma for the rest of my life.......

if they had a cure, i pay anything, or do anything for it....

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  • 3 weeks later...


for sure all those are tough aspects, permanence being at the top...what scares me is that i don't know much about what's happening to my body...i may even be doing things that are making my condition worse without knowing it...and believe me, worse is something i don't need right now...

the fact that doctors don't seem to know (or want to know) much about HSV ... doesn't help my frantic state...

work was really tough today...i felt like crying a few times...and i had no patience for stupid questions and comments...i was not my Sunny1self... i almost felt like staying home...but then i can't do that for too long and who know how long this will last...how do people live with this and work?!

not knowing...that's placing a lot of stress on me right now...icon11.gif Sunny1

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  • 1 month later...

First stage, shock, shame, afraid infecting more areas of myself--wear contacts; not with anyone else;

second stage, recurrence--permanence, depressed, busy dealing with obs:confused: , made myself into a lab rat, trying different remedies to find cure/relief, lucky me finally ran into this forum, I can't say enough how much I appreciated the help and support received;

third stage, well, just start to realise, no bf/sex for more than a year, looking into how to step out, not infect others but still have a relationship:roll: may still take a while to be back in the field...

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I would have to say physical pain. I have experienced some very strange pains since being diagnosed with hsv2. The back pain alone is a killer! Enough to make you cry.

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I know about the back pain. Things that I have learned that helped me:

1. The antiviral meds if you can take them such as Valtrex or Acyclovir.

2. Thermacare wraps - they come in several different sizes and last for hours.

3. The vitamin supplements recommended on this site such as lysine, vitamin c with bioflavanoids and calcium, magnesium, vitamin's d, e and b complex.

4. Drink lots of water. SERIOUSLY. Try to drink 6 or more 16 oz glasses a day.

5. Ibuprofen and Relefen are anti-inflamatories and if you take them every 4-6 hours consistently it may help.

6. Avoid stress and emotions such as sorrow and despair.

7. Epsom salt baths (they sooth the muscles).

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permanence; this has def. changed my life, and not for the better. knowing that i will have to share this information with possible future partners, totally stinks. how do you know you can trust this person and if it doesnt work out that they will not spill the beans???

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The permanence for sure. I hate not knowing...there are so many symptoms that I experience all the time and I don't know if they are related or not. I agree with the rest of you; if this had an end in sight I would be able to tackle it head on. But, since I know it will be with me for the rest of my life I have been left feeling a little defeated. I wish I knew that I would be one of those people who, later on down the road could be lucky enough to not have outbreaks anymore, but I don't know that. I look forward to the day when I can eat a Reese's or a piece of chocolate cake or shave and not have to worry. Hopefully one day I can experience that and not have to be on suppressive meds! But, you never know...

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