still living and lovin life

[Deana23]

Hello everyone,

I am an outgoing and vibrant 23 yr old female who has come to accept the fact that I have been infected with HSV2. While I was ashamed of it when I first found out in the fall of 2005, and I can honestly say that I'm come to terms with it. Believe me, it was a long time in coming, but I realize that this condition does not define me, nor does it any of you. We are still the same human beings we were before, we're just stronger now because we have the courage to deal with something that life has brought our way. No matter how or when you contracted herpes, God is always there for you to turn to. God has forgiven me, and I have forgiven myself. I think this sight is useful and plan on asking questions I may have cause we are share something in common and that bonds us.

[Theo]

Any comments welcome

I liked what you wrote. I am 38 and just found out. I know this is a blessing in disguise. At 23 I had already been with way too many people and it did not stop me. I don't think I got this til last year, but it doesn't matter. I guess my biggest concern at the moment is the frequency and severity of the ob's. I know everyone is different. Can I ask you how often, the severity and how you are dealing with this? Are you in a relationship? I'm not and am wondering what my ob's will be like, in case I ever do get in a relationship again.

My first was like 2 pimples, one near my anus (I thought it was maybe a hemorrhoid) and one on the labia (doc said it was probably an ingrown hair). One year later, one pimple on the labia for a few days. One week later, right after the stress of finding out, as we speak, three very little pimples on the same side of the labia. 4 days now and it feels like it is going away. I didn't take the Valtrex because I couldn't get to my pharm in time. Well, I thought since it has already appeared, I didn't want to waste the RX since there is no way I am having sex for a long time anyway.

Do you take anything? I have seen some of the others pics and it looks freaking terrible!!!!

[gutted.]

my obs are nuffing like the pics, this board does scare some people into thinking its alot owrse then it is...

i get 3 - 4 obs a year, one or two little pimples thats it.

[BoxofRain]

everyone experiences it differently in their body......some no symptoms, some very infrequent minor symptoms, some unbearable, very frequent etc. So herpes may "not be that bad" for one person and it could be horrible and terrible and affect all aspects of others lives due to the severity of outbreaks, or the frequency, or some other factor like not having distinct stages of an outbreak, so they never know when one is actually over or beginning. It is so different for everyone so i do not ever down play it....it is also the severe psychosocial aspect that perhaps is one of the most difficult things about having the virus for many. The people that have it very mildly in terms of discomfort and duration or frequency are very lucky and should be glad but not discount how severely it affects a large population of people on multidimensional levels.

[BoxofRain]

also, a big issue surrounding peoples outlooks on this seems to be a variety of different things all contributing in a way........severity, duration, frequency of outbreaks, how they acquired it, how they have been brought up to view it, having or not having a support system (friends, family, etc.) having a partner who will stay with you, or gave it to you, or having been rejected because of it, or having been accepted by someone.......all of those things weigh heavily on the ability to accept it, feel hopeful and live a reasonablly happy life in spite of it. but attitude is the only thing we can change, because we cant change the fact we have the disease so the only way we can change is to change how we view the disease or try and think about it. .....very hard to do sometimes......... it is "forcible change" a change you would rather not accept or look at positively but have no real choice in the matter......... or be miserable forever. I hate rationalizing things, or "bending the mind" to view something as positive, when it is truly a negative aspect in life so doing it with this is definitly hard....to me it feels like brainwashing your own mind to accept something you would previously not ever have accepted but have no choice when it comes to this.....either adjust, rationalize having this is not so bad, and pretend until you actually convince your mind to believe what you are saying is true, or be miserable. At least the process makes us stronger and more dynamic as a result of being diagnosed and having no choice but to find ways and acquire mind sets to cope with the future reality of living the rest of our lives with the virus...there are some postive results/benefits ....all in how you bend your perception of any situation.

[gutted.]

i wasnt trying to imply that it not that bad, i was talking about my own expierences

however i must admit, some of the things i read on this board scared the shit out of me!!!

[tothefuture]

That's because this forum isn't representative of people who have herpes. It's not a random sample. I assume people who are not as effected as us - or should I say, me (I can't speak for other people), simply don't feel the need to come on here. And the psychological effects of it , really are SO subjective, that despite others who are GREATLY effected by it, this DOES NOT mean that it needs to be as devastating for everyone.

[Theo]

This has been an eye opening experience for me. yes, I have only had a few mild ob's. I hope this status stays the same. Still, I am truly devastated about getting this, mostly because it is a huge obstacle in finding a mate. If the ob's were more painful, I am sure the importance of my love life would be much further in the back of my mind. I came on here to get information and to have a support system. I find you all unbelievable, especially the ones with such a great attitude. I started practicing yoga for stress relief a few years ago, mainly because I have a bad temper and trouble coping with bullshit. It really helped me mentally and physically. I was able to clear my mind and be in the present, not worrying about my past and future. My past behavior got me to this point. (See, I am really good at beating my self up) I know that although this completely sucks, I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. The fact that some of you have been dealing with this for so long and are still here to help the newbies blows my mind. I hope I can be helpful to anyone becasue I have found that reading some of these posts are helpful to me.