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Hello M25 from England


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hiya folks..

i got diagnosed about a year ago, turned out i coaught it from a one nite stand, and then passed it onto my girlfriend at the time..

she knew of the one nite stand, and had already forgiven me, and suprisingly didnt seem to mind about the herpes, and we carried on like normal...

however we broke up a month ago, and now im thinking about my infection more and more --

ive recently met a new girl, and after several dates we have got together..

i told her about my little problem, she understood and thanked me for being honest, and wants to continue the relasonship - using condoms when we have sex.

however i know the problem will linger in her mind, as it would mine, and maybe make her feel uncomfortable about sex, etc etc

i keep reading on the internet about all these different miracle cures - has anyone tried any of these?

i dont get many break outs to be fair, maybe 3 since i was diagnosed.

id hate to give it anyone, any advice would be great thanks people.

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Many people take antiviral meds like Valtrex suppressively, and this is suppose to help (but not 100% eliminate) the chance of contracting herpes. Perhaps you can try this, although, if you only get a minimal of outbreaks, I would say your immune system is pretty kick ass and why screw things up (the old if it ain't broke don't fix it schtick, right?) But that is an option.

Another is to just practice safe sex, even though it isn't foolproof and to be sure to "clean up" well afterwards. (shower and what not...herpes HATES soap!)

Fortunately, as a man, it is easier to know when you are having an outbreak due to your "plumbing" (not always so easy for us ladies.) Just routinely check things out before engaging in sex as well. Although you can pass herpes off when NOT showing signs of an outbreak, I think this is much more rare than we allow ourselves to believe.

Good luck to you in what you decide and continue to stay strong and healthy!

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]I would not tell people that it is rare to pass on herpes without symptoms.That is exactly how I got infected.My husband had no sign of a coldsore but gave it to me on the genitals fom oral sex.I have chatted with few people in the same situation on this site.SO EVERYBODY PLEASE BE CAREFULL!

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i also got it from my boyfriend who had no symptoms at the time and who NEVER had any symptoms previous to infecting me ever....so it is very possible. There are tons of statistics stating that more people contract this when no symptoms are present than when symptoms are there and that makes a lot more sense of why so many people pass it on and arent aware...... in past years, it was originally thought that the virus was spread primarily only from active breakouts but that has since long been proved not to be the case....and now with all the current statistics and cases finally documented that occur when no symptoms were present it is very alarming and devastating (to those infected) that it is in fact extremely common to transfer the virus when no symptoms are present for over half of all people infected with herpes.

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Thanks for responding.

ill be posting more often now i know i have peeps to talk to it about

i found the hardest thing was being able to talk to sumone and express my true feelings without the feeling of the person maybe telling sumone and me feeling like an outcast.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi i have just joinedthis site, and its good to find people who r going thru the same, this was just how i caught it from my husband, while we were having a romantic weekend away!!! I just feel really mad that i am left with this i know he suffers from colesores but they are so more accetable arent they?? I havent been able to tell anyone only my husband i feel so dirty and isolated at the moment, my husband feels very guilty,and has been great, i just dont know how to move on from this any ideas??

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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