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Cake

Diagnosed today, I can't stop crying. Please help me.

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Cake

Hello, I am a 23 year old female and was told today that I had genital herpes following a swab.

The only symptoms I have had are swollen lymph nodes in my groin, a small split on my perinium and a couple of white spots. I have never had any sores, scabs, pain, flu symptoms etc etc.

I went to the doctors 1 week after I got infected with unrelated health problems and was put on 2 types of anti biotics. At the time I mentioned the split to my doctor, who looked and agreed that it was just a cut and she wasn't concerned as it did not hurt at all, even when touched. The cut I presumed was from when I had last had sex as I had noticed it pretty much straight afterwards.

10 days later I went to the sexual health clinic to be tested for everything, the nurse looked at the split who also agreed it was nothing to be concerned about but took a swab just in case. At the same time I was diagnosed with a pretty bad yeast infection from the anti biotics, she said my glands were swollen but that it could have been from the yeast infection. The split healed completely within 2 days of starting the thrush treatment.

I then went on holiday and noted a couple of small painless white spots down there, they never changed and completely went within a few days. At the time herpes did cross my mind but because they did not change I dismissed it.

I was told I was negative for all STDs within a week of being tested, apart from the Herpes swab which had not come back from the lab.

2 days ago (a MONTH) after I initially went to the clinic I went back to check the yeast infection had gone and for a HIV/Hepatitis etc test. The nurse then again said she didn't think the split was anything, especially as the thrush treatment had seemed to clear it up but again the results weren't back. Today, the same nurse rang and said the swab results were back and it was positive for herpes. She asked me if I could go into the clinic to get some medication for it and to talk about it, but their opening times are all when I need to be at work and it was too short notice to leave. She said that as I have no signs of it now it is probably too late to take anything. I was too upset to speak to her and I was at work so I needed to calm myself down. I am going back there next week to discuss it more, but I know I will be too upset to talk.

I am absolutely devastated, completely disgusted with myself. I really can't cope with the idea that I have this disgusting scum for the rest of my life. How can I even begin to tell a future partner I am infected?! I live in a small place, people will find out. I am disgusting and ruined now. To make matters worse, this was the first time in over 4 years I had had sex, as last time it ended in an unsuccessful pregnancy and I have been too scared something bad would happen again to even contemplate sex. My fears were right. These are the only 2 times in my entire life in which I have had unprotected sex and they have both ended so badly. WHY ME?!!! I have friends who have unproctected sex with a different person every week and have never even caught a cold from them.

As this is my first outbreak and it has been so mild, does this mean it will never get any worse? Is there any chance it could have been a false positive result or does the white bumps rule this out completely?

I want to scream and throw up. I thought I may be depressed anyway but this has pushed me over the edge.

Sorry for the life story.

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pacifico4878

Hi Cake!I'm new to this site too with the same problem and same devastating feeling.I cannot write for too long as I must go out for a while but I'll be in touch when I come back in the afternoon.Out of all the many people affected,I'm sure it will be someone lovely for you and for me.It could be that this site is the key to meet a person with the same wish.I wish you all the best,relax and be happy:it's the start,you're not on you own to feel yucky.And we know we're not trash but decent,clean people! Ciao!

:)

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Number7
Hello, I am a 23 year old female and was told today that I had genital herpes following a swab.

The only symptoms I have had are swollen lymph nodes in my groin, a small split on my perinium and a couple of white spots. I have never had any sores, scabs, pain, flu symptoms etc etc.

I went to the doctors 1 week after I got infected with unrelated health problems and was put on 2 types of anti biotics. At the time I mentioned the split to my doctor, who looked and agreed that it was just a cut and she wasn't concerned as it did not hurt at all, even when touched. The cut I presumed was from when I had last had sex as I had noticed it pretty much straight afterwards.

10 days later I went to the sexual health clinic to be tested for everything, the nurse looked at the split who also agreed it was nothing to be concerned about but took a swab just in case. At the same time I was diagnosed with a pretty bad yeast infection from the anti biotics, she said my glands were swollen but that it could have been from the yeast infection. The split healed completely within 2 days of starting the thrush treatment.

I then went on holiday and noted a couple of small painless white spots down there, they never changed and completely went within a few days. At the time herpes did cross my mind but because they did not change I dismissed it.

I was told I was negative for all STDs within a week of being tested, apart from the Herpes swab which had not come back from the lab.

2 days ago (a MONTH) after I initially went to the clinic I went back to check the yeast infection had gone and for a HIV/Hepatitis etc test. The nurse then again said she didn't think the split was anything, especially as the thrush treatment had seemed to clear it up but again the results weren't back. Today, the same nurse rang and said the swab results were back and it was positive for herpes. She asked me if I could go into the clinic to get some medication for it and to talk about it, but their opening times are all when I need to be at work and it was too short notice to leave. She said that as I have no signs of it now it is probably too late to take anything. I was too upset to speak to her and I was at work so I needed to calm myself down. I am going back there next week to discuss it more, but I know I will be too upset to talk.

I am absolutely devastated, completely disgusted with myself. I really can't cope with the idea that I have this disgusting scum for the rest of my life. How can I even begin to tell a future partner I am infected?! I live in a small place, people will find out. I am disgusting and ruined now. To make matters worse, this was the first time in over 4 years I had had sex, as last time it ended in an unsuccessful pregnancy and I have been too scared something bad would happen again to even contemplate sex. My fears were right. These are the only 2 times in my entire life in which I have had unprotected sex and they have both ended so badly. WHY ME?!!! I have friends who have unproctected sex with a different person every week and have never even caught a cold from them.

As this is my first outbreak and it has been so mild, does this mean it will never get any worse? Is there any chance it could have been a false positive result or does the white bumps rule this out completely?

I want to scream and throw up. I thought I may be depressed anyway but this has pushed me over the edge.

Sorry for the life story.

Did you have the culture typed to know whether you have hsv1 or hsv2? Also, did you also get blood testing at the same time?

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suziq

I know exactly how you feel. Although I have yet to be diagnosed, I am fairly certain that I have HSV2 (I can see it and I sent a picture to my friend who is an RN and she thinks that's what it is too). My symptoms are mild (a few blister-like spots, no fever or swelling or fatigue) but I feel like there's too much of a resemblance for it to not be that.

I have recently started sleeping with a new guy and have never had any kind of symptoms before so this leads me to believe that I got it from him. Like I said, I haven't been diagnosed yet, as I went to the clinic this morning about 8:15, right after they opened, and they told me I had to call right at 8 to make an appointment, but they were already booked up. I tried getting in at 6 surrounding clinics but they were all booked too. I'm going to try again tomorrow, otherwise I have to wait until next week, when I have a scheduled appointment.

This new guy and I clicked from the very start. I am completely myself and I feel a very deep connection with him, unlike I usually do. I know that I have to bring it up to him when I see him again, but I'm terrified at how he will react. Like I said, I think I may have contracted it from him, but then again it could have been laying dormant for years. After reading all the success stories about people that have no problem when telling their significant other, it makes me think it may not be as bad as I expect.

I have cried literally all day and didn't sleep at all last night, as that's when I started noticing the symptoms. I feel so alone because HSV2 is such a taboo subject, and I don't personally know anyone going through this. At least not that I know of. My best friend is the only person that knows at this point and although her words are helpful, I can't help but think she doesn't know at all what this feels like.

Should I tell him that I think I got it from him, or just say I could have contracted it years ago and that he needs to be tested? Everything I've read says that I should be as confident as possible but I am naturally an emotional person. I know that when this conversation even starts to arise, I will likely start crying because of all the hurt/disgust/let-down I feel about this.

Sorry for the lengthiness, but this is my only out at this point.

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Acesheart

Hey Cake welcome to the site. I am so very sorry for your loss of pregnancy. I have been there, lost a son 8 years ago. I also can relate to only two relationships, my second was my first husband who was also my giver. I divorced had genital herpes type 2. If your ob was this mild, you could be type h1 genital from oral sex from a partner with cold sores, he could have passed through viral shedding. He also could have been unaware he has h1. Since you had a previous partner, you could have had it years and stayed Asymptomatic. Many have h, 80% of the population. They never get or show symptoms, therefore they don't know they have it. Condoms only protect 30% against h, but they do protect against other things. You could have given it to him. This is a very common virus. 1 in 4 woman and 1 in 5 men already have genital herpes. Please relax and no you are absolutely not dirty or anything else along those lines. We just have h. If your h is h1 genital, it isn't in its proper place so it sheds less and using antivirals also lessen the chances of transmission even more. Being a female it is harder for female to male transmissions. So again just relax and breath and get some rest , try not to stress and eat, very important to keep your body and mind healthy. Get some Lysine it is an amino acid that helps keep h from replicating in the body. This will pass, you will be okay. You could very possibly have had for years, but never properly tested and just didn't know. Only thing that changes in that case is now your aware and can take meds to keep your h in supression. I take daily meds, 24 years now, only two ob's ever and I'm married to a non h man. We also have a daughter, I was told I could never have children. See how much they know, LOL. Take care and here is a book www.westoverheights.com , read all you can and let's get you educated it takes the fear out and puts the knowledge in. Hugs, Ace.

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smarties

Point #1: It will get better Point #2: Eventually everyone gets herpes, whether it's sexually transmitted or not Point #3: The friends you mentioned that have unprotected sex with new partners every week probably have herpes as well, but have mistaken their primary episode for ingrowns or are asymptomatic.

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keepingthefaith

Believe it or not, it does get better. It takes a lot time, a lot of feeling, a lot of everything. Patience, faith, knowledge, experience. But just like any other life changing experience, you will get through it. Also, there will be a day where you don't even think about it anymore. It's a great day.

Hang tight, talk with your friends, doctors, us. I posted in "Success Stories" recently--you can read how herpes is SO not a death sentence or anything else. It's just part of my life now.

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bronzy

Hi Cake I know its hard, but you are not alone in this, If the statistics are right, the majority of people are simply ignorant of their std status.Ignorance is bliss.

Sending love and light your way message me anytime

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Cake

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I am still devastated, in denial I think. I have only cried 3/4 times today, which is all ready better than the constant hysterics from yesterday.

I'm not sure what type I have or if they have typed it, I'll ask at my appointment next week.

I had a missed call today, which I'm guessing is the clinic with my HIV test results. They wouldn't ring if it was good news.

I think one night has just ruined my life.

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      Thanks for your story.  It seems similar to mine. Fortunately for you it seems your boyfriend is willing to pursue some kind of understanding. Since I wrote about what happened to me, my boyfriend broke up with me. The ironic thing is he told me this happened to him about 15 years ago with another woman. He said it was very traumatic for him and felt like the same thing once again. So it seems he had been exposed before and could very possibly have already been carrying the virus. Perhaps he knew and didn't tell me. I am really not sure but the relationship is over for now since he won't discuss it with me. So much fear information and confusion out there about the virus. I don't think they really understand how it happens so they tell everyone to be careful. Even having the virus it has been such a non-issue in my life until now that it appears there is so much stigma around it. It seems more like it is the Pharmaceutical companies wanting to make money off a common virus that affects so many on such a deep level, receiving love and physical contact.  Feels like a big scam to me.  The information was so different when there were no drugs to reduce or suppress the virus. It is all very confusing to me.
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      I don't have hsv1 (2 instead) but yes, it is posssible to have an ob without the usual syptoms- or to miss more subtle signals. in my exprience said ob is mild (ie not painful).
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      I contacted one of the ayurveda doctor in india he is saying there is 60% chances of cure through ayurveda for herpes Details: Please see the treatment details mentioned below
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    • Lilhurp
      Also I’ve had them heal and come back almost immediately. Waiting for culture test results. These are the only symptoms I’ve experienced 
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