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Just found out...


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I have had code sores my whole life. Never really thought anything bad about it; as I grew up it. Well yesterday I found out that I have type II as well. I have not had any breakouts. I am 36 and just ended a very long (14 years) bad relationship last August. I am pretty sure I got it from my ex as he had it.

I have been seeing someone and just told them yesterday. I am in love with this person and totally freaking out that they may have gotten it from me. They are going to get tested today. I'm so scared and don't know what to do. If they test neg will they still want to be with me? If they test positive, I will have to live with the knowledge that I gave it to them? I am just sick and can't concentrate. I didn't go to work yesterday or today, and I can't stop crying. I have no idea what to do now.

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i got diagnosed about a year ago and know exactly how you feel....

i thought id never find anyone who would want to be with me again....

however ive met a new girl, and by beng honest in telling her before we got to the bedroom stage, she decided she likes me enuff to take the risk, we use condoms and other means off lowering the transmission risk, but still i think it must be in the back of her mind!!

for the first 3 months i wanted to die, being honest again, i felt like leper, but now i reslise im the same person, i cant give it to people by being around them..

apart from my new partner and ex parnter, both whom i trust, no one knows i have HSV2

now yes it still bothers me, not so much in what it does to me, as i dont get many OBs, The fact its permanet and down there is what bothers me

chin up, not all that bad, sometime i even tend to forget about it now!!

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telling partners...

I just told someone else that I had slept with in the past 6 months and they are not taking it well. They are saying I'm a a bad person and how could I do this to them. I said I was clean -- WHICH I THOUGHT I was -- I told them that IF I had known I WOULD NEVER have done anything. ALSO -- I told them that I would have been a bad person had I NOT told them. This is SOOO fucked up. I FEEL like a total and complete asshole. I do feel like a bad person and I'm trying to not let these feelings overwhlem me, but I feel totally and completely like shit and don't know what I should do.

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You’re not a bad person, and the guy who called you that is just scared. When you are having sex, herpes is one of the risks, you and all your partners took the risk. Most who have Herpes don’t even know they have it, so who can you blame? If you raped him after tying him to the bed, then he has a case, other than that he needs to learn to take responsibility for his own actions. If anyone is bad, it's the guy calling you a bad person. It’s going to take some time for this to sink in, but it will change your life, give it some time.

Good luck,


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He actually calmed down after a bit, and was able to actually talk about it. he didn't know much about H and I gave him all the info I knew. I didn't know much before yesterday myself. Like you can get it even if there is no outbreak. No wonder this thing is so wide spread and so many people are getting it. I myself have not had an outbreak yet. I plan on starting Valtrex very soon.

The main guy in my life has been VERY supportive. I didn't think he would be, BUT he is. I'm glad to have him on my side. He went and got tested today. So we'll see how things go.

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Dear Lost, What I don't understand is that your ex for 14 yrs had it and you knew this? If this is what you are saying then how could you think you could escape it with 14 yrs of having sex?

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Dear Lost, What I don't understand is that your ex for 14 yrs had it and you knew this? If this is what you are saying then how could you think you could escape it with 14 yrs of having sex?

Unfortunately, I was uneducated about the virus and how easy it really is to get. In addition, I said it was a bad relationship --- we had sex maybe once or twice a year -- he never really wanted it. Anyway -- I just didn't know you could get it without breakouts. Remember this goes back before the ease of using the internet to find out information for oneself. I talked to my DR and THEY never said anything about it either. It may not be an excuse, but that is my story. As for getting it from him - I may have I may not have. Once I left him I got a little wild and had sex with a few partners and while condums were always used --- I still could have gotten it that way.

Thanks for all everyone's feedback -- I'm actually feeling MUCH better today. The person that said I was a "bad person" - apoligized once he calmed down. I even spoke to a close friend that has it and is currently in a longterm (4 years) relationship with someone and they enjoy an active sex life and he has not gotten it. She takes Valtrex daily..... So I am MUCH more hopeful than I was the last 2 days.

I don't know WHAT we did before the internet. lol

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Yes, I agree that this site has also helped me quite a bit-at least the positive people have helped. It is nice to hear again that someone is having a normal sex life with this. I do have a question for anyone....is having oral sex performed on you out of the question for someone with HSV 2? I am just recently diagnosed and working my way through this first breakout. It is getting better but going on week 3 now. What about the oral sex? Thanks.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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