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lost2007

By lost2007
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lost2007 Honeycomb Member

lost2007

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I have had code sores my whole life. Never really thought anything bad about it; as I grew up it. Well yesterday I found out that I have type II as well. I have not had any breakouts. I am 36 and just ended a very long (14 years) bad relationship last August. I am pretty sure I got it from my ex as he had it.

I have been seeing someone and just told them yesterday. I am in love with this person and totally freaking out that they may have gotten it from me. They are going to get tested today. I'm so scared and don't know what to do. If they test neg will they still want to be with me? If they test positive, I will have to live with the knowledge that I gave it to them? I am just sick and can't concentrate. I didn't go to work yesterday or today, and I can't stop crying. I have no idea what to do now.

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gutted. Established Member

gutted.

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i got diagnosed about a year ago and know exactly how you feel....

i thought id never find anyone who would want to be with me again....

however ive met a new girl, and by beng honest in telling her before we got to the bedroom stage, she decided she likes me enuff to take the risk, we use condoms and other means off lowering the transmission risk, but still i think it must be in the back of her mind!!

for the first 3 months i wanted to die, being honest again, i felt like leper, but now i reslise im the same person, i cant give it to people by being around them..

apart from my new partner and ex parnter, both whom i trust, no one knows i have HSV2

now yes it still bothers me, not so much in what it does to me, as i dont get many OBs, The fact its permanet and down there is what bothers me

chin up, not all that bad, sometime i even tend to forget about it now!!

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lost2007 Honeycomb Member

lost2007

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telling partners...

I just told someone else that I had slept with in the past 6 months and they are not taking it well. They are saying I'm a a bad person and how could I do this to them. I said I was clean -- WHICH I THOUGHT I was -- I told them that IF I had known I WOULD NEVER have done anything. ALSO -- I told them that I would have been a bad person had I NOT told them. This is SOOO fucked up. I FEEL like a total and complete asshole. I do feel like a bad person and I'm trying to not let these feelings overwhlem me, but I feel totally and completely like shit and don't know what I should do.

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GymMonster Honeycomb Member

GymMonster

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You’re not a bad person, and the guy who called you that is just scared. When you are having sex, herpes is one of the risks, you and all your partners took the risk. Most who have Herpes don’t even know they have it, so who can you blame? If you raped him after tying him to the bed, then he has a case, other than that he needs to learn to take responsibility for his own actions. If anyone is bad, it's the guy calling you a bad person. It’s going to take some time for this to sink in, but it will change your life, give it some time.

Good luck,

Gym

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lost2007 Honeycomb Member

lost2007

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thanks

He actually calmed down after a bit, and was able to actually talk about it. he didn't know much about H and I gave him all the info I knew. I didn't know much before yesterday myself. Like you can get it even if there is no outbreak. No wonder this thing is so wide spread and so many people are getting it. I myself have not had an outbreak yet. I plan on starting Valtrex very soon.

The main guy in my life has been VERY supportive. I didn't think he would be, BUT he is. I'm glad to have him on my side. He went and got tested today. So we'll see how things go.

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Healing Honeycomb Member

Healing

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Posted

Dear Lost, What I don't understand is that your ex for 14 yrs had it and you knew this? If this is what you are saying then how could you think you could escape it with 14 yrs of having sex?

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lost2007 Honeycomb Member

lost2007

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Healing

Dear Lost, What I don't understand is that your ex for 14 yrs had it and you knew this? If this is what you are saying then how could you think you could escape it with 14 yrs of having sex?

Unfortunately, I was uneducated about the virus and how easy it really is to get. In addition, I said it was a bad relationship --- we had sex maybe once or twice a year -- he never really wanted it. Anyway -- I just didn't know you could get it without breakouts. Remember this goes back before the ease of using the internet to find out information for oneself. I talked to my DR and THEY never said anything about it either. It may not be an excuse, but that is my story. As for getting it from him - I may have I may not have. Once I left him I got a little wild and had sex with a few partners and while condums were always used --- I still could have gotten it that way.

Thanks for all everyone's feedback -- I'm actually feeling MUCH better today. The person that said I was a "bad person" - apoligized once he calmed down. I even spoke to a close friend that has it and is currently in a longterm (4 years) relationship with someone and they enjoy an active sex life and he has not gotten it. She takes Valtrex daily..... So I am MUCH more hopeful than I was the last 2 days.

I don't know WHAT we did before the internet. lol

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Healing Honeycomb Member

Healing

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Yes, I agree that this site has also helped me quite a bit-at least the positive people have helped. It is nice to hear again that someone is having a normal sex life with this. I do have a question for anyone....is having oral sex performed on you out of the question for someone with HSV 2? I am just recently diagnosed and working my way through this first breakout. It is getting better but going on week 3 now. What about the oral sex? Thanks.

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      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
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