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Generalbnezz

Need help on how to cope

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Generalbnezz

I'm 23 and a few days ago I found out that I had HVS-2!....I feel like my life is over!

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Teacher Man

Hey General -

Well, as you can clearly see, you're NOT alone in dealing with this situation. I know how you feel. But let me assure you, your life is NOT over. The first days definitely suck, and most everyone I know with HSV has a pretty rough reaction to the news. It's kind of devastating initially.

But speaking from experience, I promise you that it gets better. The first days are the worst. Just hang in there. It's been over two years for me and my love/sex life is far from over. The diagnosis seems catastrophic at first, but it definitely isn't. Think about it. People have to deal with real tragedies like leukemia, AIDS, and irreversible injuries every day. Those kind of things can change your whole life, but HSV doesn't. It just seems like it at first, because herpes is such a punchline in our culture for some reason.

The good news is that this virus is little more than a nuissance for the overwhelming majority of people who get it. Asthma and many allergies are more common that HSV, so you're not isolated in dealing with this thing. You'll still have a love life, a sex life, and as many opportunities as anyone else. It's just the fear that freaks us out at first. You're still the same person you were before. You're just as talented, smart, and educated as you were before. But now, you'll be even more resilient out of of necessity. We'd all avoid this thing if we could turn back the clock, but now we have to face it. And trust me, it's not as bad as it seems.

My advice is to educate yourself and take care of yourself. There are plenty of great books to help you out and plenty of websites as well. Spend some time educating yourself, and you may feel better. Also, be kind to yourself. The first days are hard, so just do what you need to. Excercise, write, talk to a professional, watch an inspiring movie, whatever works for you.

This site is full of good people who KNOW what you're going through and can offer advice or just listen. So hang in there, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This clip always bolsters my spirits:

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victor

Your life is not over even though it might feel like it now. Herpes really is nothing more than a stigma that society has loved to use as a punchline. It is so minor compared to other things once you realize that the social stigma behind it is pure BS. Genital herpes, specifically HSV 1, is the same damn thing as having a fever blister while HSV 2 is 50% identical to HSV 1. If you think about this outside the box and logically, herpes is really nothing more than a skin condition despite where it infects. This is not to disregard those who have terrible primary outbreaks, but get past the dang stigma. You will find love; people may think when you tell them you have herpes that you're sleezy, but it is your duty to educate them. Think about it... can you really control getting pimples? To an extent yes, but even the best treatments will not be 100% beneficial and will leave margin for error. Herpes is quite similar except you get them on your genitals or mouth. You can still live a normal life, and I know it may be hard to think that you can, but you will be able to have a normal sex life, and this stupid skin infection does not define you. It's not a big deal really; 1 in 5 Americans have this disease, and maybe more. The only reason it's so stigmatized is due to the area it occurs in. If herpes occurred on your arm or foot then people would think nothing of it and it would be in the same category as typical skin rashes and similar things. It's the area that creates this stigma, nothing more.

I feel for those who have HSV 2 genitally and get terrible outbreaks. I have HSV 1 and never get pain or anything; my primary was nothing. They tend to get better over time, and I think you will realize this is nothing more than a minor and manageable inconvenience. There are ways to treat this, and I prefer to treat it the natural way with remedies. Many people only need medication during the outbreaks; I need it never, and I think it's a waste for most people who are on constant medication to limit this virus unless they are having frequent and terrible outbreaks. It's a virus that won't kill you. You can do everything you've wanted to do, and this does not change who you are as a person. You can still get married, have great sex, have kids, etc. Do not worry about this virus, and I know it's hard for you not to right now, but it does get better. Time will heal all and those who can't get over this virus are putting way too much emphasis on this. Many celebrities have this virus; LA is full of this virus, and it's no big deal here. Celebs that have herpes are Jessica Biel, Janet Jackson, David Hasselhoff, David and Victoria Beckham, Tom Cruise, Derek Jeter, Jessica Alba, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Adam Sandler, and many more that we don't know about.

Life isn't over. Regarding the child issue, if a woman becomes pregnant and she has GH (apx. 25%-33% of pregnant women do) there is less than a 1% chance of her passing it onto her child. In each pregnancy, whether infected with GH or not, there is about a 3% chance of a birth defect (just to put how minor GH in pregnancy is). There are ways to pretty much guarantee that the woman doesn't pass the virus onto her child. The risk is involved when a person acquires GH in the final trimester because there isn't enough time to build up antibodies to protect the baby. If a woman has an outbreak during the time of labor, she can get a C-Section to prevent the baby from getting the virus.

I feel your pain as well; I'm 23 too. However, this will not take over your life unless you let it. This will be a minor inconvenience to you, but will not hurt you in the long run. As long as your immune system is pretty good then your outbreaks will be infrequent and mild. Feel better.

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wheretonow

Hey General, I feel for you. I was diagnosed about a month ago with GHSV1 and I was devastated. There really are no words to describe how emotionally destroyed I was at first. I cried for 3 days straight and most days I still have a moment where I am profoundly sad but I found this site after a couple of days & bit by bit I started to feel a little better, a little more like myself. My world is still upside down & inside out but simple things bring me joy again. Listening to music has been my lifeline. And you know what; this is just a virus and I refuse to let it define me or who I am. Treat yourself in whatever way makes sense to you. I am on antivirals, herbs & vitamins and colloidal silver because I felt after reading and researching these approaches would work for me based on what I know about my body. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to put this into a perspective that works for you so you can, as Victor said, feel better.

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  • Posts

    • Thomas29
      I’ll stop doing it then hahah yeah mine doo too they are like milk spots but these bad boys have got a lot of them in them!! I think these are the ones that was under my skin I’ll stop touching them hopefully they’ll go away I’ve never had a blister/ spot on my lips or inside my mouth so i was just been curious if it’s on my face or so, thank you for advice tho lovely 
    • sameer82
      I would suggest you don t have to tell many people about it you have HSV ..May be you can tell people with whom you are in relationship now or any future partners ..telling anyone else will make unnecessary more worrying only ... 
    • sameer82
      Stop picking them or poping them and see does it goes away on its own ? i also get some of these on my forehead with white discharge sometimes ..but my poping them it spreads to more area of skin ..
    • Lilhurp
      Im from The Illinois side
    • Lilhurp
      No I’m kinda embarrassed to go pick up the prescription to be honest. How do they work for u?
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