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RockstarAlien

I just want to die now.

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RockstarAlien

My life is over. I don't want this. I was happy without it. Now I'm severely depressed. My mouth hasn't stopped tingling. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I had some pills ready to take but my mum found them in my room. She wants to me to continue with my plans, but i cannot see that happening with this now. I made these plans before i got it. I just want to die. I do not want anything else.

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Mystory101

Hi Rockstar Alien,

I really don't want to say the wrong thing to you. Obviously you are very depressed about this and need support. If you are suicidal, I strongly suggest you check into a hospital or get some immediate help. As you can see by being on this site, there are many people that live with this issue and have great lives. People live with this and accomplish all of their dreams and more. This certainly is not the end of the road unless you make it so. I don't know what else is going on in your life but maybe you should try to focus on the good. It may sound like a stupid suggestion, but it helped me when I was at my lowest. If that doesn't work, I'm sure there are millions of other ways to pull you out of depression and to help you cope with this. Trust me, I know it's depressing at first and everything seems awful, but it does get better. Most people have fewer outbreaks as time goes on. Are you on suppressive treatment? You are in my thoughts and I truly hope you realize that you have purpose and that having H does not determine who you are or what you can or cannot do.

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RockstarAlien

The doctor gave me aciclovir for 5 days. But i think I need more as its not gone away. It does affect it. I can't kiss anyone without being worried I've passed it on. I'm scared and anxious about everything.

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RockstarAlien

my ex is even acting like I WANTED THIS!

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Mystory101

Well, an ex acting like you wanted this may be an indication that that person should no longer be in your life. You need to surround yourself with supportive people. Obviously you didn't want this. I can just about guarantee that no one purposely gets this virus. In regards to your other post, you should definitely let your doctor know that the medicine is helping but that you want to try it for a longer period of time. The outbreaks will not last forever. We're all worried about passing it on but everyone deals with it in their own way. You have to find how you're going to cope with it. I like the saying that life isn't about what happens to you, but how you handle what happens to you.

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djtaucher

Whoa whoa whoa! No reason to kill yourself, darling! Tons of people get cold sores! Myself included! It is such a minor bother that it doesnt even occur to me I have it 99% of the time.

Your first outbreak is the worst. I got my herpes 17 years ago I think, and I have 1 outbreak every year or two.

Whenever I feel that herpes tingle, I use Abreva on it immediatley and it stops it dead in its tracks. Abreva will make the cold sore not erupt. Therefore, you may never need to have another outbreak again. :)

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RockstarAlien

We don't have abreva here, which sucks. I looked online at the website of the pharmacy I use. I felt the doctor I saw today didn't help me. They won't let me take meds over a longer period of time. They said it wasn't necessary. I'm so depressed. I was happoy without getting them. I didn't even want to see him that day but he kept pestering me.

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Northern2012

Hey Rockstar. I read this post on another page in the site, and thought maybe you could give this a try. Everyone has Earlgrey in their home.

Cold Sore Tea Bag Treatment Worked!

I had to come on here immediatley! I've been having non-stop oral ob's for 2 months now. When one healed the next would start. Today the next one was starting and it looked to be a biggie. I was hitting rock bottom, and willing to try anything. So I went looking on the Internet and found the tea bag treatment. I tried it and oh my goodness it has decreased half in size!!! I want to run outside my front door and scream my happiness to everyone! It's the little things, right?

So what I did was steep an earl grey tea bag in boiling water. (Don't microwave the tea bag it said). I then took the the bag out and let it air dry till it was just warm. I applied it to my lip for 15min. It felt a little tingly when I first put it on. Then when I took it off over the next 20 min the cold sore got smaller and smaller! I have now applied some zovirax. I'm going to bed now, but going to repeat first thing in the morning! I have hope again! (I haven had hope in a while).

Please let me and us know if you tried it and if it did anything.

Take care & talk to you soon.

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Iridewheelies

Stop talking crazy before I hop a flight hunt you down and smack you up. I had to burry my older brother at the beginning of this month. I wish there was a way for me to show you the pain my parents had to go thru. Hardest thing I've ever had to go thru is being strong for my breaking down parents when all I really wanted to do is break down in tears myself because my only brother/sibling is gone. Get your head out of your ass and quit being so damn selfish. Your life is not over its only just begun. Wtf you complaining bout it ain't like you got cancer. Chill out!

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Northern2012

If someone has to "chill out", it is you Iridewheelies. Granted you are going through a rough time, but you do not need to make your post sound so angry

Everyone is allowed to feel what they feel. I felt it myself when I found out.

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RockstarAlien

I tried to kill myself last night and went in an ambulance, I was still distraught at the hospital and they threatened to call the police :(

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MsLucy

There's an old saying... God helps those who help themselves. I don't know if you read my response to your other suicide post about killing yourself, but at this point, I feel like we're all talking to blank space. It's as if nothing anyone has said to you has penetrated, maybe because you're so focused on convincing yourself your life is over, you can't see anything beyond your own nose. You've closed your mind to possibilities and refuse to contemplate a future that's not centered around cold sores. Your mind is closed.

So, you tried to klll yourself. What do you want us to say? What do you expect us to do? So many people on this site have tried to explain to you that you're not alone, that this isn't nearly the castastrophe that's you've built it up in your mind to be, and that your life is not over, or even severely altered, and yet you refuse to hear what they're saying. If it's attention you want, you've got it. What is it, exactly, that you want?

Frankly, you've worn me out. If this lousy virus is enough to make you kill yourself, I feel sorry for you. It must be terrible to be so afraid of living. Life is full of challenges. It's also full of triumphs and joys. Kill yourself now, and you'll never know them... never get to experience them.

None of us can stop you from doing what you're determined to do. We can help you understand the nature of the virus, and help you deal with living with it, but only if you open your head up enough to hear what we're saying, and only if you're willing to put forth the effort to try. The decision is yours.

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RockstarAlien

It was my deepest darksest fear and i eneded up getting it when it could have been avoided. I had just built muself up after having a major operation on my face and then my ex boyfriend kissed me with a cold sore and i didnt see coz i had no specs on. it came out of the blue. I feel sick and I'm shaking. I'd finally found a place in my life i was happy with myself. My operation was a watse and i never got long enough to enough it, coz now i got this for the rest of my life. This was not how i was suppposed to be.

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Pipi

Why do you worry so much about oral herpes? people get an outbreak around once per year, it is not big deal, really. Genital herpes is much worse with outbreaks every 15 days, and I´ve been like this for 17 years and I don´t care anymore, I had boyfriends and they didn´t care and never gave it to anyone because we really took good care. After a while a boyfriend gave me oral herpes and believe me, oral herpes is the least of my concerns! There´s many things in life besides herpes, and who knows, maybe you are one of the lucky ones that never gets a recurrence!

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ThePrinceofPoon
Why do you worry so much about oral herpes? people get an outbreak around once per year, it is not big deal, really. Genital herpes is much worse with outbreaks every 15 days, and I´ve been like this for 17 years and I don´t care anymore, I had boyfriends and they didn´t care and never gave it to anyone because we really took good care. After a while a boyfriend gave me oral herpes and believe me, oral herpes is the least of my concerns! There´s many things in life besides herpes, and who knows, maybe you are one of the lucky ones that never gets a recurrence!

Genital herpes doesn't cause an outbreak every 15 days for 17 years. The outbreaks get less and less as the years go on. It only causes a few outbreaks a year, and some people don't get any outbreaks.

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MsLucy
... This was not how i was suppposed to be.

I'm going to address you as an adult, although you're not acting like one...

Life is never 'how it's supposed to be'. If it was, everyone's life story would end with 'and they lived happily ever after'. Life is full of circumstances we can't change, mistakes we can't undo, and shit that seems to just randomly fall out of the sky. Get used to it.

That doesn't mean that we can't be happy, but to do so, one must be adaptable, and understand that everything changes... the good, the bad... nothing stays the same, and nothing lasts forever... not even misery, although it may seem that it will.

Stop obsessing about how it was 'supposed to be', and put some effort into making 'what is' more liveable. If you put half the effort you're expending on feeling sorry for yourself into trying to accept 'what is', you'd already be over this bump in the road, and be moving on to a bright future. Unless you're one of those people who can't be happy unless they're miserabe (which I'm beginning to suspect). it's time to stop whining, grow up and get on with your life.

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Acesheart

Hey Rock , if this support and all these people here, who are willing to help you, doesn't show you how important life is, then I don't know what will. I just lost someone in the family, he died of Cancer, and it is very hard to watch a Mother, Sister,Brother and children understand how life will go on after such a tragic thing has happened. Here you are talking about TAKING your life? Sorry honey I just don't get it! Yes life is hard , both your mum and sis have h1. Talk to them and try to move forward, please for your sake and those around you. Truly Ace :(

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RockstarAlien

i made a stupid mistake today and i'm gonna change. i read online that catching a viral infection can cause something to do with the brain, before all this i was a grown up person. since getting this i realised. I have changed. and i need to work with what i got. i dont think im gonna fall in love anmore, as my outbreak is just leaky lips, they are not even blisters.

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RockstarAlien

You guys have been nothing but supportive. You guys are wonderful. I've just been stupid.

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Acesheart

Rock , sweety you are anything and everything, but stupid isn't one of those things. You are smart and talented and good hearted. All of these are fantastic qualities. :) .. This will pass, these feelings, they will pass! I understand everything you have been saying, but I also know after 24 years with genital h, Hell my life is great :) ! I am so truly blessed to have met my prince after getting h, to have had a child, after getting h, to have such a blessed life, again after getting h. Nothing worth having comes easy, but it is worth fighting for. Go back talk to ur uni professors, get your education. Be whatever you want to be in life. You don't have to settle for careers or partners, but now is the time to be selfish, put you first!! You are worthy and wonderful and deserving. We really do understand, heck we have been there, done that. I just ask that you live life. It's so short bebe, it goes fast. Oneday your in college, the next , in the blink of an eye, your settled down kids, home, dog. Live now while your young enough to enjoy it, before the real responsibilitys kick in. If we didn't care, we would not be telling you these things. I tell my story when it helps, and it isn't always fun to relive, I do it because I had nowhere to turn when I got my h. Please take care of you, put you first. Hugs, Ace :hithere:

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Northern2012

Awesome to hear Rockstar! I have had coldsores on my face for years, some major, some very minor. To the point that with my sisters, we do not say the word cold sore, because one of us will get one within a few days. (it's all in our minds lol).

Please keep coming to this site. Get involved in the chat. I had the most wonderful laughs this morning in chat. And we all understand each other.

Hugs to you

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RockstarAlien

I woke up this morning and a cut i had on my arm has been infected with herpes during my sleep. my whole lower arm is covered with herpes blisters. Guess I'm going to have it amputated.

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treelimb

I know how you feel. When I have a cold sore, I feel so embarassed. I hide as much as I can at work so no one sees me. I'm now taking daily suppressive therapy because I've had four cold sores in less than a year. I would use anti virals, abreva, lysine supplements, and an ice pack to help minimize the outbreak. This is a disgusting, humiliating, atrocious virus...and it needs to just go away. All this "it's no big deal everyone has it" really just pisses me off since I never really see anyone I know with a cold sore.

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Acesheart
I know how you feel. When I have a cold sore, I feel so embarassed. I hide as much as I can at work so no one sees me. I'm now taking daily suppressive therapy because I've had four cold sores in less than a year. I would use anti virals, abreva, lysine supplements, and an ice pack to help minimize the outbreak. This is a disgusting, humiliating, atrocious virus...and it needs to just go away. All this "it's no big deal everyone has it" really just pisses me off since I never really see anyone I know with a cold sore.

Hey treelimb, welcome to our site. I love this user name . I notice more people with it now than I ever did. I now know its herps and I catch myself specifically looking for them. I know of at least three of my neighbors who have husbands with h1. Before, I never noticed. I saw these same ppl weekly , our kids rode same school bus, never even paid attention. Have you also tryed toothpaste. I also heard organic apple cider vinegars. Some used regular not organic. I have ghsv2, I cannot tell you of anyone else I know who has it. I can tell you these people who I see with h1, they don't try to hide, why should they? They don't see this as something that is effecting their life. It's obvious they don't consider this a big deal. They work, put kids on the bus, and function, just as most do. They don't seem to be ashamed, why should they, it is a cold sore, a common virus. Their families already have it, many probably don't know its h, so don't dwell on it. Things become a big deal, when they stop us or interfere with our daily life. Again welcome and I hope to see you in chat soon. Take care, Truly Ace :)

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    • f*ckedOver
      @WilsoInAus 

      The truth of the matter is that you have no idea what you're talking about.  You seriously have issues trying to tell someone about how they suffer, what their test results are.  You apparently suffer from HSV-1 oral based on your profile and you're here for who knows why...sure you must suffer a lot or possibly none at all.  Either way most of the population is okay with someone have HSV-1 orally.  HSV-2 Genital & Oral is a different ballgame for obvious reasons. 

      You think that by my symptoms which include 5 oral lesions since exposure and test results aren't good enough.  I don't need to post my results online to let the world see.  In fact I am done explaining myself. 

      THIS IS A SUPPORT COMMUNITY NOT A BASH COMMUNITY. YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO BASH PEOPLE FOR LORD KNOW WHAT REASON.  You attempt to manipulate my character with your slander of my character.  The only person proving them self of poor character here is yourself.  

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      You can have HIV for many years without developing AIDs, if that is what you're asking.
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