Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

The talk was amazingly easy! - but now..... Help!!!

Recommended Posts


Well I found Mr Right!

(Had H 4 years, this is the first relationship I have had to explain to)

Was 3 weeks before I plucked up the courage to have the dreaded talk and he was incredible! He knew I was TERRIFIED that he was going to run out the door and never come back, he was incredibly reassuring.

So we have done the sensible thing, I have been to see his doctor, had a talk and a smear test, he fully understands my condition, which he now refers to 'our problem' everytime I apoligise to him for not letting him touch me.

We still haven't had sex because I have been on some treatment to take the swelling down after an outbreak. I am 2 days away from coming off this medicine and I am having another outbreak!!! :(

When I am single, it is sooooooo rare for me to have an outbreak and when I do, I never have to treat it, maybe a bit of toothpaste of the blister and that is it but now..

I am really scared that every time he touches me, even if it is just a playful 30 second tease, I am going to suffer!

Will go to the pharmacy tomorrow to get some more meds, but what else can I do?

My other question for you guys is, he can't have sex with condoms, we are going to try but he is afraid he won't get an erection.... anyone else experienced trying to protect a loved one that can't use condoms?? Any advice other than the obvious don't have sex during an outbreak?

Happy Scared and frustrated!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, congrats!!!

Don't put toothpaste on outbreaks :( That seems very bad!

As for your question, you can just relax for now. I can see why you caused an outbreak. You must have been terrified! Of telling him! And when he reacted positively, you were happy but your body takes time to adjust to a lower level of stress. For now, just explain to him that you would rather not be touched and simply tell him you have an outbreak caused by tons of stress in regards to telling him. But do mention you are appreciative and happy he is so supportive!

Are you on Antiviral medication? Do you take L-Lysine? Do you have a great healthy diet and 30 mins of cardio per day?

If not, consider some/all of those things. they will help big time in reducing outbreaks.

Without condom use, without antivirals, without any special precautions aside from DON'T HAVE SEX WHEN YOU HAVE AN OUTBREAK (duhh lol), your chance of giving it to him is 10% a year.

Consider adding some of the things I mentioned earlier.

And since you have had HSV for 4 years, (maybe more cuz it doesn't always show symptoms), you are less contagious than someone who got it last week.

Again, congrats !

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Toothpaste I promise you has been the best thing I have ever discover (thanks to this forum) my out breaks can be cleared in 48 hours if I'm lucky :D

Don't think it was just the stress of telling him but a lot of life itself at the moment and now I am personally just so frustrated as we have been seeing each other for 7 weeks now and I soooooo want him! He is incredible when it comes to this, I've felt so much better about the whole thing until now.

As for treatment - I will be tomorrow (first time in years) the Doctor prescribed me Famvir, which I think is the Spanish equivalent to Acyclovir. Will go pick it up tomorrow.

I was a bit stressed because I was trying to get the Doctor to put me on something like Valtrex to suppress it everyday, to reduce the risk even more of my partner contracting it, rather than just when I have an outbreak but he didn't seem to pick up on that fact, I figured he was the expert at the end of the day so left it, but now I'm home, I wish I had pushed it a little more.

L-Lysine never seemed to make a difference to me, if anything felt worse - possible I was taking the wrong dose?

Diet I'm pretty good but do break a few rules like coke a cola and chocolate

Cardio - new one to me, thank you, I work in a gym so I think I have that covered

I am very lucky in the sense that my outbreaks are always very small, painful but only 1-3 blisters at a time.

Thanks for the reply, feel a little more at ease now!

Haven't red this yet but thought I would post it out of interest, will read it now..


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      That’s right, most infections of the one type are in one nerve ganglion. As such, the virus only appears at the skin’s surface where that ganglion reaches to.  This does all come down to the numbers though, if you have no other evidence than a firmly positive HSV infection, the default assumption which is not likely to be wrong is that type 1 is oral and type 2 is genital. A positive swab is the only evidence to the contrary.
    • Lulupazoola
      I was having back to back OB's and decided to try several things I had read about here.  The first one was instant gratification:  oil of oregano diluted with fractionated coconut oil.  I could feel another OB coming, tingles, and just spread the oil all over the area.  In a few minutes the tingle was gone.  The lesions and red scarring i had responded well to it too.  Went away promptly.  The second thing was diet.  A person on this forum said they had good results by eating more vegetables, some fruit, meat and mostly using potatoes for carbs.  Like, leaving grains alone.  I decided to leave wheat alone and use other grains occasionally.  I no longer eat chocolate, nuts, seeds, coconut, oats, as these r all potential triggers for an OB.  I take 1000 mg lysine 2 x day in case i unknowingly eat some food that is high in arganine.  So far so good.  Another person on this forum said she took neem capsules 2 x day and hadnt had another outbreak in 2 years.  So i do that too.  It hasnt been long enough for me to make any great claims, but the continuous, never ending breakouts have stopped, i have energy and feel good.
    • Friends
      Is it possible to catch HSV 2 somewhere else other than the penis... And if so does this mean you will not transmit from that area? 
    • Lulupazoola
      I wouldnt want to give anyone info that they might decide to use against me at some point.  U must tell those that u must tell, but otherwise, i would only unburden myself anonymously, like on a forum.  No judgment or harm here.
    • Thomas29
      Could you recommend any decent treatment if you know of any?

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.