I am 29 and found 2 weeks ago I got herpes

[whit34angel]

I am so angry at myself.. When I first found out, I wanted to kill myself...I am not a dirty person..I was cautious when I had sex..I was in a 6 yr relationship and then met someone new.. We had oral sex, and sex without a condom. I was irratated the next morning..that I just thought it was rough sex well somehow my vagina area was irratated...and then I was in pain..well I had to go see my dr the 2nd week with so much pain in my life that I couldn't even use the washroom. My current partner didn't have no symptoms or any outbreaks. So, what did I do wrong? Now I feel like the worse person, and causing someting to myself that I could of prevented...I feel so freaking abnormal...My partner wan't to be with me no matter what...he doesn't care....but I am angry at him as though he caused this to me..he is going to get tested...

How do I deal with this? What do I do when I get a outbreak just deal with it? My dr gave me medicine and helped me, but am I suppose to take it when there is an outbreak everytime?

Someone please help

[gutted.]

you can take anti viral tablets, use topical cream on outbreaks, suprresive tablets and all sorts of stuff...

all depends on how often and how bad your outbreaks are..

i dont seem to get many outbreaks, maybe 3 or 4 a year, and i only get one or two little pimples, which heals over quite quick aswell..

Your a still a clean person, dont think otherwise!!!!

[GymMonster]

Just because a person has HSV does not mean they are dirty, that is a stigma placed on STD’s by our society and you bought into it. Get that out of your head, it’s wrong, anybody can have an STD I don’t care how clean they look or how popular they are. They can live in a trailer park or a mansion, they can be a doctor or a dishwasher, it don’t matter.

I don’t like to say this, but you have to look at it from every angle. Because of the stigma, many people don’t like to admit they have this disease, so the partner that says he had no idea he had it may be lying, I’m not saying he is, but it’s a possibility. The normal reaction from a person would be shock, not a don’t worry about it response. I’m not saying he lied, it just sounds fishy to me. I don’t offer trust to anyone anymore, they have to earn it.

You have to give the disease time to set up house and your body time to deal with it, the first months and up to the first year are the worst. After that the disease effects will lessen over time, as the years pass. It’s going to take a while for you to learn how to deal with your particular infection, everyone’s body seems to deal with it in a different way. Read all you can and find out what works for you. Some like to take medication at the first sign that they are going to have an outbreak, some are on suppressive therapy, it’s up to you and depends on what works best for you.

Good luck,

Gym

[Caliope]

Being angry and blaming yourself and wanting to die sound so very familiar. I joined this list at the beginning of the month and that is a reoccurring theme when we first get diagnosed.

It's not the end of the world you're not dirty, you're not a bad person and you didn't choose to get this anymore than the rest of us. Start by giving yourself a break - stressing makes the ob's worse.

Learning how to live with this is a journey and I've found that the more you learn the better you can deal with and anticipate what to do. I spend a lot of time perusing through the forums including the older messages and I get valuable insight into h. I encourage you to read the articles and let the info sink in.

I find that the antivirals help me. I'm taking them daily for a while. Not everyone can do that for various reasons. Before you go and try over the counter remedies on the web look at the info on this site. It will save you wasted time and money.

On the issue of partners. Many people don't realize they have h or they are in denial or they know they had a partner who did and since they never had an ob themselves they figure they're clear - not necessarily so.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think you'll find a lot of sympathetic individuals here who can give you lots of information and advice - sometimes more than the medical professionals.

We all have different advice on what works for each of us to deal with ob's and most of us are happy to share. Just ask.

[whit34angel]

How can my partner be tested, if they don't have outbreak? I just got one outbreak and that's the hardest. When my outbreaks cleared last time I can actually move on. I start feeling down, and that I will never have a relationship with anyone. It really is something that changed my life so drastically. I can't even tell anyone...

I appreciate all of your support.

[Caliope]

If your partner hasn't had an ob they can get blood tests to find out if they are infected. (sounds like they probably are) There are herpes specific tests that show if it is hsv1 or 2.

Truly time is on your side. Don't let your negative thoughts have precedence - they are just what if's and not reality.

You can have relationships! you can be happy! you can move on!

I don't have anyone I trust to discuss this with either. I told my partner but he can't handle the info so I don't revisit it. He told me to find a way that we can have sex and that's as far as it went. I use the antivirals and pay very close attention to my body and began a nutritional program to boost my immune system.

I advise you to educate yourself completely because it will show you how to move on. This forum has tons of info in the links if you just look around and be open minded.