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The Adventures of the SilverFox - My Story on my 1 year anniversary from diagnosis


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Let me start by saying I have ghsv1 and got it from my cheatin ex girlfriend on my bday one year ago. I was devastated. Not only because of H but because our relationship was over for good! Once I found out I told her to never contact me again. We have not had any contact in a year. I did not do this because she gave me H, she did not know she had it. I did it cuz she is a cheater and can't be trusted.

When I first found out I came here in a panic. I truly thought my life was over. Funny story, when I went to see my doctor and show him my ob, he said it did not look like h and to stop masturbating so much! lmao. I said wth are you talking about! Give me the damn test! Doctors really are ignorant when it comes to H. Most treat it like it's no big deal. But I can tell you when you first find out...you THINK it is a very big deal! He told me to go on the internet and research it. Well I did and thank God I found this site!

I initially had a swab that said I was positive for ghsv1, they also took blood and the test came back neg for h1 and pos for H2. This started my journey of confusion. I did not know if it was ghsv1, h2 or both. I waited 4 months all the time feeling tormented not knowing the type. Then I took another blood test that said I was neg again for type1 and pos for type2 but the igg numbers went down!. It was a low pos of 1.21. I then went and took a western blot to settle the matter once and for all. It came back neg for type2 and pos for type1. So that put me at peace finally.

During these four months I felt like my life had been flipped upside down. My log in here used to be devastated6099 cuz that is how I felt. H pushed me to rethink my entire life. What were my values and how do I want to live. You see I got divorced about 4 years ago and went crayz after my wife left. I was partying all the time, sleeping with girls 20 years younger than me and truly looking for ways to self medicate away the pain of the divorce and loss of my family.

H put a screeching halt to some of it not all of it! It honestly took me 4 months to come to grips that I had H and make the changes I needed to make to move forward. I could no longer live the lifestyle I was living and honestly did not want to. At the four month mark I cut off all my party friends, got involved in celebrate recovery a ministry for anyone with a hurt habit or hang up. I was attending meetings 3 days a week and God was using it to change my life.

I have an addictive personality. When my wife left me I partied hard to numb out. I found a great distraction in my ex gf who was 21 years younger than me and very good looking. When we were having troubles I would just drink more....I totaled 5 cars in two years. When I found out I had H I did not immediately change, instead I started gambling and going to the casino every night. I lost around 25k gambling over the next 3 months.

Though I had cut off my ex and all my friends, I was still lost. I tried to fill the emptiness with gambling. At this point I hit rock bottom. All my so called friends were cut off, my ex was cut off and I was devastated and out of control. I finally got sick n tired of being sick n tired if you know what I mean.

I fully committed myself to making the changes I needed to make. I stopped drinking and gambling. I started working hard on myself to fix what was wrong with me inside. I joined a christian based 12 step group for anyone with a hurt habit or hang up. I met men there that could relate to my struggles. I started to believe I could change.

Fast forward to today. I have been free from drinking and gambling for 7 months. I have my life back on track, I feel great. I started dating again about 3 months ago and have met an awesome women. She was the only person I have had the talk with.

After the 5th date I sat her down and told her I had something to tell her. I asked her if she ever gets cold sores and she said yes. I asked her if she knew what they were and she said yes. Then I told her I get cold sores too but not on my face. I then explained the differences between H1 and H2. I then told her I am glad she has it because if she did not I would not date her! That she would have had to convince me it was worth the stress of maybe giving it to her. She laughed and said..so your saying if I did not have H YOU would not date me?! I said that is correct unless you convinced me I should.

Moral of the story for me is H saved my life. It forced me to make the changes I needed to make. My life is better now than it has ever been. I have great friends from recovery and church, I am playing golf again and shooting in the 70's :p, my relationship with my kids is better, I have peace in my life and am content. H has not been an issue in regards to women either.

I hope this story encourages some of you that things will get better if you fight for your future. H may be a blessing in disguise.

Btw. I have only had my initial OB a year ago. The doctor told me with ghsv1 if you don't have a second ob within the first year there is an 88% you will never have another. I do not take meds and feel blessed that most likely I will never have another one.

I wish you all the best. Give it time. Each of us comes to acceptance in our own time frame. Please do not let H define you but embrace it and become the best you you have ever been!

Blessings,

SilverFox.

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Oh fox you truly are an inspiration to all of us. I love your story, always have. And loved watching you grow from this. You know how I feel and nuff said. I love they way you gave the talk, I too would be like damn he won't date me :( but you are a silver tongued devil, one of who I admire for your hard struggles and your will power to take back your life. Hugs, and I'm proud I'm one you call friend. Great story fox!! Good luck on that golf too, LOL.. Hugs to you, Ace :hithere:

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Fox,

I had picked up quite a bit of your story in chat, but it was good to see the whole thing here. I am happy that H has turned out to be good for you. Who would imagine that H would be good, but obviously it has shown you the way. i hope that others can gain hope from you and your story.

Terri

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Oh fox you truly are an inspiration to all of us. I love your story, always have. And loved watching you grow from this. You know how I feel and nuff said. I love they way you gave the talk, I too would be like damn he won't date me :( but you are a silver tongued devil, one of who I admire for your hard struggles and your will power to take back your life. Hugs, and I'm proud I'm one you call friend. Great story fox!! Good luck on that golf too, LOL.. Hugs to you, Ace :hithere:

Ace, you know I feel the same about you sweetie. We came on here at the same time and we have helped each other grow. You have been such a great friend and support all through my journey over this past year. This site is truly blessed to have you here. You give so much back to those in need. Hugs, SF

Fantastic thanks for posting - too often the forums are depressing to read but I think this one should have "sticky thingy" especially for newbies.

So when you going to turn pro then?

Pro? lol not sure what that means but I was a Pro Bowler a long time ago :p

Fox,

I had picked up quite a bit of your story in chat, but it was good to see the whole thing here. I am happy that H has turned out to be good for you. Who would imagine that H would be good, but obviously it has shown you the way. i hope that others can gain hope from you and your story.

Terri

Thanks my friend. Life truly is what we make of it. We can choose to let this defeat us or we can call out the warrior within us and fight for our happiness. It's not easy but the payoff is awesome and very satisfying. :)

Great post, I hope all newbies read it!

Chat soon!

JB

Thanks JB. you are a true inspiration to all on this site. I appreciate your dedication to helping others and the hundreds of hours you have spent on this site supporting those that are hurting. It's a privilege to call you my friend.

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Fantastic thanks for posting - too often the forums are depressing to read but I think this one should have "sticky thingy" especially for newbies.

Humm, let's see...two moderators and a super moderator have commented on my post. I am pretty sure between the 3 of you if you feel this should be a sticky it would be :p lol

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I will get onto the boss about making it a sticky

Pro - as in golf. I love golf not played for a long time but it was a great escape for me as I had to really think what I was doing, so it cleared my head. It didn't matter if I only had one good shot in 18 holes - that was the one I remembered too.

Also all the people I met were nice - maybe being a snob here but everyone was pleasant, considerate and helpful. My aim is to be able to play again.

Hope you get more chances to play

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi guys,

THank you so much for posting this. I've have a really hard time accepting my ghsv1, especially after being rejected after my first disclosure. I'm slowly getting into a better place but am havign a down day today, so reading this has helped tremendously! Thank you for being so positive, and pat yourself on the back for taking control of, and living your life!

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  • 2 months later...
  • 8 years later...
Mconcerned1987

Trying to read his later posts he says he tested negative for hsv1 and indeterminate it’s really weird....b

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