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A funny thing happened the other day...

deedeedee

By deedeedee
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deedeedee Honeycomb Member

deedeedee

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Dating with herpes isn't easy, despite the huge number of folks living with it. And while many people experience good feedback after telling a partner about their HSV status, it's still pretty nerve wracking to think about the day you'll have to tell someone.

I started dating again recently via a popular online dating service- one I've used in the past with pretty good success. So I was quite happy when, just a couple weeks into my membership, I met someone who I was really attracted to. Wow. Smart, hilarious, cute, great head on his shoulders. But dang, there's still the whole herpes thing to deal with.

Crap.

I found myself mulling things over the last few days. How would I tell him? Would he freak out? Would he be upset he wasted his time on me? Would he be one of those folks who insists you "date your own kind..they have websites for THAT, you know". It wasn't easy.

So anyway, this weekend he came over to my place to hang out. When the movie we were watching finished, we glanced at each other and things got a little quiet. He smiled at me while holding my hand and said "There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about". "I dunno, guess you could see it as a 'get out of jail free card' of sorts"

Honestly, I had no idea where he was going. Then he blurted: "I have herpes" before rolling his eyes and looking away. I could see he was embarrassed. Worried.

And as I sat there in shock, not quite believing my ears and sudden good fortune, never before had the word "herpes" ever sounded so good. But I was also real happy because I realized at that very moment I'd found a guy with integrity. It's pretty easy to get away with not telling a partner about HSV, after all.

So as he sat there looking flustered, a huge stupid grin spread across my face. I must've looked like an idiot. He looked at me puzzled before I finally let him off the hook "Hmmmm, that's actually not a bad thing because I have it too".

The next few minutes are a little hazy in my mind, but I remember him letting out a deep sigh of relief and giving me a big hug while saying "Oh man, that's so awesome! You're so awesome!"

And by the way, nothing happened that night.

Anyway, I think the message here is that the unexpected can happen.

Incidentally, I've had the "talk" go well with non HSV partners as well, so don't despair the day you have to tell someone about your status. And never believe that HSV makes you any less deserving of a loving, healthy relationship.

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gutted. Established Member

gutted.

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Top story, i guess when we tell sumone we all want that repsonse!!

would life be easier if we all had it!!

lol

ive only told a handful of people, all gave me good response, then told me how much of a good person i was to have the courage to be HONEST, and give them a CHOICE... (im talking the opposite sex poss - partners)

Anyone id tell, id expect to have a good response anyway, as i dont let myself get close to small minded people.

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ouch Platinum Support Member

ouch

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That is a great story. As you said, it proves HE had the integrity to tell you before any hanky panky, so he is HONEST. Says VOLUMES about him.

Also proves how wide spread this things is. While I will disagree with gutted that I do NOT want anyone/everyone to have this (see some of my rants on the subject, then you will know where I am coming from) I DO think it is important for people to realize that this is NOT uncommon, and I do understand it makes things a little less complicated when both parties have herpes.

Also, as you mentioned there ARE people who do not have H who date people with. I have it, my man doesn't. When I told him, I was so worried, and he handled it like a champ. Rock solid my fella and very supportive about my little situation. he has chosen to carry this "burden" with me. To date, he still DOES NOT have herpes. SO........time and time again I try to tell people that there are good people are there, both with and without herpes, that willl date you and love you no matter what.

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hopingseeking Established Member

hopingseeking

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That's a super cute story. I'm very happy for you :) And how about messaging me this dating website you use? Maybe I'll have the same luck!

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