Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
Coutinho

A Promise to myself, & is Herpes a Social Death Sentence? WARNING a bit long

Recommended Posts

Coutinho

This all very new to me and it's not ideal. I don't know if i believe that everything happens for a reason but i do see the comfort in that thought. Regardless things happen, some good some bad, and it is our choice to make the best of what we've been dealt. I've had a good life so far (i'm only 27, just so you know), I've had my struggles in life without a doubt but this is the first real big issue (it's an issue now) I've dealt with that i never expected to happen and really made me question myself and see myself in a negative light (which i shouldn't). So in a way i should be thankful.

Shit happens and I'm starting to accept that. I know I've made some bad choices in my life and that's partially what led me to being here, accepting this will take time especially that I have always considered myself a very intelligent and moral person and this condition makes me question some decisions, and feel guilty for others but no ones perfect, its part of the human condition. I don't deserve this but who deserves getting cancer, or getting hit by a car. I'm not at all to blame and it sucks knowing someone is going around spreading this, although she knows what she has. But i'm getting over that, i really am. It makes it hard to realize that we aren't perfect, but really who is...no one is. And really what is perfection?

We need to accept that we aren't...its always been the case, H just brings that more to light in our minds and that's a hard pill to swallow. I have always kept fit and kept in shape but i have small ankles, i wish i was a bit taller, I wish i didn't have this small scar on my face, i wish i was more assertive at times, etc. I know this isn't the same but in some ways it is. Some of these things i change some i cant. Herpes is something we can't change, so if we want to better ourselves we have to use this affliction to propel ourselves and change those things we might not have otherwise. Make H the reason to become even better then you were before H, because if it wasn't for this i wouldn't push so hard to become better. The only way i can make a positive out of this is if i make it happen, I know this is the push that will force me to go even further then i would ever done before. I've always been motivated but I hope this will force me to a new level and i'll be better for it. Or else yes, its just sad, because I'm obviously in a worse position. Sorry for my language but fuck herpes...seriously. I will become the best me i can...this i promise! This is the promise I'm making to myself and I hope some of you feel the same.

All you have is you, that's all you've ever had and that's all you will ever have. I know that sounds strange and maybe depressing but you really are the only person that can make yourself happy, that was the case before H and it is still the reality now. Its just going to be harder. I know i will have many ups and downs but we all have them in life, i will probably just have more then i was expecting so i need to prepare for them.

We are still as amazing as we were before, and for me i don't want that person to slip away, as I have for the last month or so. Again i know it will be harder...that's why instead of sitting around I'm going to hit the gym, eat healthy, read, get into some new hobbies and just be amazing. I was pretty awesome before all of this...although this has crushed by spirits to an extent and cost me an awesome gf of 2 years, things happen...and I'm finally starting to realize this...it will be a challenging road a head but it will make everything that i gain and earn in this life that much sweeter. People say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, i agree with that statement but only if you make yourself evolve into that person you've always wanted to be. Cause you could just very easily let this take over your life, and that might very well be easier. In the end its your choice.

Good luck to you all, i know this won't be easy but my happiness is worth fighting for and i will not give up... NEVER!

Here are 2 inspirational clips, some might think these are lame but these have always helped me...now more then ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L1stBkpWBc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt0Fb72XDzU

On a side note...I saw someone say on a post that Herpes is a social death sentence, its far from it. It is only if you let it. In terms of relationships with that someone special that's a different story, it will be more challenging. Go out be social, establish and maintain friendships how else do you expect to meet the people that you will eventually want to be in your lives forever, or maintain those social skills that will help you woe that someone special. The more amazing you are, the happier you are people will not be able to resist you. If i'm not happy who will want to be with me. I owe it to myself and that person to be happy...this is another promise i'm making to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dangitinAL

That is all we can all do for ourselves. There are good days and bad days.. but in the end it is still up to you to make yourself happy.

If you love yourself, how can others not love you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Acesheart
This all very new to me and it's not ideal. I don't know if i believe that everything happens for a reason but i do see the comfort in that thought. Regardless things happen, some good some bad, and it is our choice to make the best of what we've been dealt. I've had a good life so far (i'm only 27, just so you know), I've had my struggles in life without a doubt but this is the first real big issue (it's an issue now) I've dealt with that i never expected to happen and really made me question myself and see myself in a negative light (which i shouldn't). So in a way i should be thankful.

Shit happens and I'm starting to accept that. I know I've made some bad choices in my life and that's partially what led me to being here, accepting this will take time especially that I have always considered myself a very intelligent and moral person and this condition makes me question some decisions, and feel guilty for others but no ones perfect, its part of the human condition. I don't deserve this but who deserves getting cancer, or getting hit by a car. I'm not at all to blame and it sucks knowing someone is going around spreading this, although she knows what she has. But i'm getting over that, i really am. It makes it hard to realize that we aren't perfect, but really who is...no one is. And really what is perfection?

We need to accept that we aren't...its always been the case, H just brings that more to light in our minds and that's a hard pill to swallow. I have always kept fit and kept in shape but i have small ankles, i wish i was a bit taller, I wish i didn't have this small scar on my face, i wish i was more assertive at times, etc. I know this isn't the same but in some ways it is. Some of these things i change some i cant. Herpes is something we can't change, so if we want to better ourselves we have to use this affliction to propel ourselves and change those things we might not have otherwise. Make H the reason to become even better then you were before H, because if it wasn't for this i wouldn't push so hard to become better. The only way i can make a positive out of this is if i make it happen, I know this is the push that will force me to go even further then i would ever done before. I've always been motivated but I hope this will force me to a new level and i'll be better for it. Or else yes, its just sad, because I'm obviously in a worse position. Sorry for my language but fuck herpes...seriously. I will become the best me i can...this i promise! This is the promise I'm making to myself and I hope some of you feel the same.

All you have is you, that's all you've ever had and that's all you will ever have. I know that sounds strange and maybe depressing but you really are the only person that can make yourself happy, that was the case before H and it is still the reality now. Its just going to be harder. I know i will have many ups and downs but we all have them in life, i will probably just have more then i was expecting so i need to prepare for them.

We are still as amazing as we were before, and for me i don't want that person to slip away, as I have for the last month or so. Again i know it will be harder...that's why instead of sitting around I'm going to hit the gym, eat healthy, read, get into some new hobbies and just be amazing. I was pretty awesome before all of this...although this has crushed by spirits to an extent and cost me an awesome gf of 2 years, things happen...and I'm finally starting to realize this...it will be a challenging road a head but it will make everything that i gain and earn in this life that much sweeter. People say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, i agree with that statement but only if you make yourself evolve into that person you've always wanted to be. Cause you could just very easily let this take over your life, and that might very well be easier. In the end its your choice.

Good luck to you all, i know this won't be easy but my happiness is worth fighting for and i will not give up... NEVER!

Here are 2 inspirational clips, some might think these are lame but these have always helped me...now more then ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L1stBkpWBc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt0Fb72XDzU

On a side note...I saw someone say on a post that Herpes is a social death sentence, its far from it. It is only if you let it. In terms of relationships with that someone special that's a different story, it will be more challenging. Go out be social, establish and maintain friendships how else do you expect to meet the people that you will eventually want to be in your lives forever, or maintain those social skills that will help you woe that someone special. The more amazing you are, the happier you are people will not be able to resist you. If i'm not happy who will want to be with me. I owe it to myself and that person to be happy...this is another promise i'm making to myself.

Hey Cout, I was so inspired by your post! :) It is certainly wonderful to see your spirit shine on. One day here and already you are showing great support and coping skills. It really gives many hope to see your post. Thanks for that, btw it wasn't that long , lmao..It was however refreshing to read and it did make me smile ;) ..Take care honey, Truly, Ace :hithere:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cruella de Vil

Hi Coutin,

I couldn't have said it better.

Thank you for sharing,

You inspire me!

Take care

Bye

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Vidhya

Coutinho is a Galician-Portuguese surname, interesting.

Wonderful that you're trying to help others, and some sentences are very inspirational! I thank you for sharing this, though I never find this kind of text, rooted in North-American perceptions, stigma and stereotypes about HSV, very helpful, being an European. It always sounds depressing beyond belief :))) But thank you for trying to help.

If I had to translate this into Spanish, Italian or French, it would go like this "Cold Sore and Social Death". Try replacing the word "herpes" everywhere - which is the word we use both for lip herpes and genital herpes - with "cold sore" and see how it sounds. For non-English speakers it does look odd. As the member Mcnulty wrote once, by using the word "herpes" for both "cold sores" and "genital herpes", we almost completely destigmatise the condition in most places. "Herpes" is rarely a scary word.

it would be something like this:

A Promise to myself, & are Cold Sores a Social Death Sentence? WARNING a bit long

This all very new to me and it's not ideal. I don't know if i believe that everything happens for a reason but i do see the comfort in that thought. Regardless things happen, some good some bad, and it is our choice to make the best of what we've been dealt. I've had a good life so far (i'm only 27, just so you know), I've had my struggles in life without a doubt but this is the first real big issue (it's an issue now) I've dealt with that i never expected to happen and really made me question myself and see myself in a negative light (which i shouldn't). So in a way i should be thankful.

Shit happens and I'm starting to accept that. I know I've made some bad choices in my life and that's partially what led me to being here, accepting this will take time especially that I have always considered myself a very intelligent and moral person and this condition makes me question some decisions, and feel guilty for others but no ones perfect, its part of the human condition. I don't deserve this but who deserves getting cancer, or getting hit by a car. I'm not at all to blame and it sucks knowing someone is going around spreading this, although she knows what she has. But i'm getting over that, i really am. It makes it hard to realize that we aren't perfect, but really who is...no one is. And really what is perfection?

We need to accept that we aren't...its always been the case, COLD SORES just brings that more to light in our minds and that's a hard pill to swallow. I have always kept fit and kept in shape but i have small ankles, i wish i was a bit taller, I wish i didn't have this small scar on my face, i wish i was more assertive at times, etc. I know this isn't the same but in some ways it is. Some of these things i change some i cant. Cold sores is something we can't change, so if we want to better ourselves we have to use this affliction to propel ourselves and change those things we might not have otherwise. Make COLD SORES the reason to become even better then you were before COLD SORES, because if it wasn't for this i wouldn't push so hard to become better. The only way i can make a positive out of this is if i make it happen, I know this is the push that will force me to go even further then i would ever done before. I've always been motivated but I hope this will force me to a new level and i'll be better for it. Or else yes, its just sad, because I'm obviously in a worse position. Sorry for my language but fuck cold sores...seriously. I will become the best me i can...this i promise! This is the promise I'm making to myself and I hope some of you feel the same.

All you have is you, that's all you've ever had and that's all you will ever have. I know that sounds strange and maybe depressing but you really are the only person that can make yourself happy, that was the case before COLD SORES and it is still the reality now. Its just going to be harder. I know i will have many ups and downs but we all have them in life, i will probably just have more then i was expecting so i need to prepare for them.

We are still as amazing as we were before, and for me i don't want that person to slip away, as I have for the last month or so. Again i know it will be harder...that's why instead of sitting around I'm going to hit the gym, eat healthy, read, get into some new hobbies and just be amazing. I was pretty awesome before all of this...although this has crushed by spirits to an extent and cost me an awesome gf of 2 years, things happen...and I'm finally starting to realize this...it will be a challenging road a head but it will make everything that i gain and earn in this life that much sweeter. People say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, i agree with that statement but only if you make yourself evolve into that person you've always wanted to be. Cause you could just very easily let this take over your life, and that might very well be easier. In the end its your choice.

Good luck to you all, i know this won't be easy but my happiness is worth fighting for and i will not give up... NEVER!

Here are 2 inspirational clips, some might think these are lame but these have always helped me...now more then ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L1stBkpWBc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt0Fb72XDzU

On a side note...I saw someone say on a post that Cold Sores is a social death sentence, its far from it. It is only if you let it. In terms of relationships with that someone special that's a different story, it will be more challenging. Go out be social, establish and maintain friendships how else do you expect to meet the people that you will eventually want to be in your lives forever, or maintain those social skills that will help you woe that someone special. The more amazing you are, the happier you are people will not be able to resist you. If i'm not happy who will want to be with me. I owe it to myself and that person to be happy...this is another promise i'm making to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rob1125

Coutinho, awesome post! I really like the last couple lines, "The more amazing you are, the happier you are people will not be able to resist you. If i'm not happy who will want to be with me. I owe it to myself and that person to be happy" This is hard to argue with, and although success will likely not come without it's struggles, I love the idea that success will likely only come with this kind of attitude; and that truly having this attitude will not only bread success, but happiness for life in general as well. Good luck with your future relationships Coutinho, I'm sure your success isn't too far away!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,110
    • Total Posts
      463,487
  • Posts

    • MikeHerp
      Just read how Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez helped raise $340,000 for transgender youth. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-casually-joins-171241889.html It sure would help if we had some celebrity or public person champion our cause. Maybe that should be our focus, to reach out to public persons and try to enlist them.  All it takes is a tweet from the right person.
    • MikeHerp
      Dr. Iwasaki is definitely deserving of funding. I'd love it if we could do a fund raiser for her. I guess at the moment we are already doing the Fred Hutch Center.
    • hopeful22
      Thank you for all this info. This is very encouraging. 
    • Alice28
      Hi, I’ve had HSV1g for 4 years and only ever had my first and only breakout. I’m super thankful for that. I still hate disclosing as it sets off alarms. Finally met a guy I really really like and disclosed last night to be clear about why I’ve been hesitant to be intimate.  We have for sure kissed and after telling he was in a panick about us having kissed. I’ve never ever had cold sores and have never passed it to anyone. Again in 4 years only my first and only genital HsV1 breakout. I’ve always been told kissing for me was fine....Can anyone help clarify? I’m resllt struggling as I like this guy a lot and hoping he can look past it. 
    • bluebell87
      nah, i downloaded an app for a day but there wasn’t anyone in my area, i’m not from a small town or anything . im not really a fan tbh 
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.