Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

Dating with cold sores

Recommended Posts


I recently started dating a girl and after a long night of drinking last friday thought we were going to mess around. She flipped out a bit which I assumed was just unreasonable drunken ranting and I slept on the couch. Sunday she told me she found out about a month ago that she was a carrier HSV1 but has never had an outbreak and it has her very stressed out.

I've been reading all morning and have seen so much conflicting information that I don't have a clue what's safe and what's not at this point. From what I can tell it sounds like, without an outbreak, the chances of transmitting are very low. Is that right? Sex, kissing, oral? Are there any special precautions we should take?

The other thing I want advice on is how I can help her deal with it emotionally. A big part of her stress right now is because we can't find any reliable information so talking to her OBGYN today will be a good start. But I know her well enough to know she'll still be paranoid. We haven't been seeing each other long but I'm interested enough in her that I feel like this is a non-issue. I've told her that whatever we find out we can and can't do safely, it will be ok and we'll deal with it together. Is there anything else I can do other than just let her get over it on her own?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello and welcome to hc support! How considerate of you to join for your girlfriend. :) In the usa, 80% of the population has hsv1. It varies country to country but is always a high percent, countries that commonly greet with kisses have especially high rates. So you have very likely come into contact with it before and may even have it yourself. In the herpes info library links to the right, you will find good information.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • MikeHerp
      Just read how Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez helped raise $340,000 for transgender youth. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-casually-joins-171241889.html It sure would help if we had some celebrity or public person champion our cause. Maybe that should be our focus, to reach out to public persons and try to enlist them.  All it takes is a tweet from the right person.
    • MikeHerp
      Dr. Iwasaki is definitely deserving of funding. I'd love it if we could do a fund raiser for her. I guess at the moment we are already doing the Fred Hutch Center.
    • hopeful22
      Thank you for all this info. This is very encouraging. 
    • Alice28
      Hi, I’ve had HSV1g for 4 years and only ever had my first and only breakout. I’m super thankful for that. I still hate disclosing as it sets off alarms. Finally met a guy I really really like and disclosed last night to be clear about why I’ve been hesitant to be intimate.  We have for sure kissed and after telling he was in a panick about us having kissed. I’ve never ever had cold sores and have never passed it to anyone. Again in 4 years only my first and only genital HsV1 breakout. I’ve always been told kissing for me was fine....Can anyone help clarify? I’m resllt struggling as I like this guy a lot and hoping he can look past it. 
    • bluebell87
      nah, i downloaded an app for a day but there wasn’t anyone in my area, i’m not from a small town or anything . im not really a fan tbh 

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.