just found out a few months ago, count be happier... and it's not even my birthday

[i'm ok now]

where do i begin...... i'll try here, i have a new boyfriend of 9 months (when you know he is the right one... you just know) recently i had something very unformiliar appear on my leg. kinda itched, and then (from me itching it i thought) it blisterd. At first i thought it was a spider bite.... My boyfriend and i havent seen anything like this on each other or even ourselves for that matter in the past... so we thought nothing of it. After "my spider bite" coming BACK, i realized either this spider has a twiin or something is not right here. because i pay for insurance i figured what the hell why not use it... so i did it i made the dr appt.... little to my unWANTED shock, i received a call regarding my culture two days later from my Dr. Nurse...... she asked if i was sitting down.... she then told me i had herpes... my only thoughts were

1. does herpes make one fall over, why did i have to sit for this.. lol and

2. how the hell?

i've been tested before, i have had blood work and have been tested in the recent yrs for even HIV.

i've done huge research on this since the "phone call" and have read allot from this site.... only until now have i been ok with it.... never held it against my boyfrined (knowing this is where it all started) he didnt know he had it. but feeling a little shammed if anything. it's kinda a sworn secret between the two of us.... to continue to go to bed not mad, to love each other like the moment we laid eyes on each other, and to never speak of this to anyone but us. i hope everyone finds a man like i tripped and fell on.... i felt so dirty the day i found out and by the end of the night i felt like i was who Bill walters was singing to in his song "aint no sunshine when she's gone" (god i love that song)

this is my first "post" and prolly my last... but for all thoughs who this effects..... "there is no sunshine when she'd gone!"