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Starting to like him...

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I met this guy at a club and we made out. I didn't think anything would happen past that, but I ended up giving him my name and he found me on facebook and messaged me right away, which surprised me. We kept talking online, and ended up having one of those really good chats that lasts 3 hours. He expressed interest in seeing me again, and was actually hinting at sex which was very forward. I figured if that's all he was looking for, since he doesn't live in my city and doesn't know anyone I know, I was just going to tell him right then and there online I have herpes, so that way if he thought I was cool he'd at least stay friends with me and if he was a total dick he'd run and I wouldn't be attached enough to get hurt.

Turns out he had a bit of knowledge on herpes that I'd say most people don't. Then he told me he would keep flirting with me and pursuing me. He even admitted to having chlamydia in the past, which probably makes him more open minded and understanding of the whole concept of STD's.

The truth is, I slept with him originally for the wrong reasons...i.e, he accepted my herpes. I DID give him all the transmission rate information related to my not being on antivirals, but he believes firmly in the power of condoms and I'm not sure he gets that there is STILL a risk.

The weird thing is, I didn't feel guilty about having sex with him then. Until time started passing and we started hanging out more and I realized I was starting to like him.

Now the guilt is eating me alive. I want to run before I hurt him. I'm scared I already have. I'm pretty asymptomatic, I have NO idea what's herpes and what isn't. Maybe that one bump that's been there for months is always contagious. Maybe that bump has always been there and I never noticed it before. I told him about it, he still wanted to have sex and we did.

I thought I wouldn't feel guilty, that if a guy liked me and accepted this I had no reason to feel guilty, but oh my gosh I do. I really do. He's a huge man whore too, if he catches this from me I'm scared I'll ruin his whole sex life, which he thoroughly enjoys. He just got out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything serious, but we are definitely friends with benefits...

I don't want to bring this all up to him and freak him out for no reason. I want to just suck up the guilt and not let it affect me, because I'm telling myself he made this choice and I gave him all the information I could! He even looked up information himself. There's some apprehensiveness with the sex though so he'll probably realize what a horrible mistake he made soon enough....

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Lulupazoola
      Anyone know anything about potential side effects?
    • LovedAnyway
      You obviously can’t read. Why don’t you actually read the article, or the excerpt I posted? Here it is even simpler for you: prostaglandins were shown to enhance the spread of herpes virus in cell culture 26 27 and to inhibit interferon production 27 28 and were implicated in the reactivation of herpetic skin lesions. 
    • viralfrog
      Hormones definitely affect HSV outbreaks according to research. I'm a male but on anti-estrogen medication in constant trouble. Have a look at my thread here: https://honeycomb.click/topic/76903-over-4-years-with-hsv-2-symptoms-keep-getting-worse-with-non-stop-outbreaks-despite-suppressive-therapy-need-help/ 

      First page, 8th post with studies about E2 / Progesterone effects on HSV. 
    • viralfrog
      It's getting pretty terrible now, I don't ever remember the last time I was feeling normal. I'm so sick of this constant flu-like feeling that makes me depressed and very unproductive. I have so many ideas and ambitions for life but I end up just doing the bare minimum due to constantly feeling like shit.  A week ago I tried stopping my anti-estrogen medication if that could have been the cause (it states "infection" in the listed, common side effects). Had my hopes up for a day or two but just got another outbreak this week that makes me want to sleep in bed all day. On top of this, now my breasts hurt because of increased E2 levels. 

      I guess I still have some hopes with new research drugs such as Crispr and Amenalief. I would order Amenalief from Japan immediately, but it costs more than my monthly rent.. I might have to start a business on top of my full time job so I can afford it. Better option than self-pity but extra stress will surely not help with the HSV2 ;) 
    • VladimirM
      Probably the therapy with SADBE helps us to develop a partial immune system on HSV. If you use more SADBE you will develop more immune system on HSV. This is most likely a mechanism of action.

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