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The last few posts I've seen have been getting me down, so I'd thought I'd share my positive story.

I'm only a couple months in of KNOWING about my status. The blood test blind-sighted me completely. First thoughts: well, I'm never going to have a boyfriend again, I'll never get married or have kids, no one will love me, etc etc...I didn't leave my house, or my bed, and I just aimlessly watched tv while pigging out on Ben and Jerry's.

Then, I left to go abroad, cried almost every night the first two weeks I was there. Slowly stopped crying. Then, two months in I meet a guy. Thought he was only interested in one thing so I told him pretty much off the bat that I had herpes. He told me he'd still keep flirting with me.

A month later we're in a friends-with-benefits relationship, that may or may not become something serious. We don't feel the need to rush anything. We're only using condoms, although I'd like to get on medication here. Whenever I bring up all the confidence issues I have about my condition, he tells me I'm attractive, physically and mentally, and that he likes getting to know me more. And so I'm trying really hard to believe him, to build up my confidence again. Because if HE can see it, why can't I?

The friends I've told have been super supportive and wonderful, and it's nice knowing they don't see me as anything less either. If THEY still see me the way they do, why can't I?

Yes, it's hard at first, and I'm still having a rough time with it. But it's also getting a lot better. Healing is a process. I'm trying to go back to the girl who didn't give a sh** what someone thought of her, who was confident and bubbly and happy. I will be her again. These feelings of emptiness and numbness will leave me, and they will leave you too. And there are awesome, open-minded people out there just waiting to surprise you, if you give them the chance to!

"If you never ask, the answer is always no"

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Well done you - it sounds like you have come a long, long way and you should be really proud of yourself. I'm pretty sure we've all been there in the beginning, thinking that our lives were over and that the future was bleak, but hey - it takes work and guts to get out of the funk, and you've done it.

And don't be too hard on yourself for not being perfect just yet - you have all the time in the world to get to where you want to be, so just enjoy your man and your relationship and have faith that this is the right thing to be happening for you at this time.

And I'm sure you will one day look back and realise that you are actually already the girl you want to be - you got there without realising.

Thanks for sharing your story - I 'm sure it will give hope to some of our other newbies.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Sarah889
      Really wasn't sure which topic to put this in! I'm guessing a lot of you will have seen the recent news that Mel B was rushed to hospital thinking she was blind from her eye herpes.  I know she's not as famous as she used to be, but I really don't understand why celebrities with a big presence aren't doing anything about this, such as fundraising for a cure or even just talking about it to raise awareness. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think she's ever spoken about it before!  She clearly suffers from some bad symptoms. Thinking that you've gone blind must have been one of the most terrifying experiences, and to me, after that ordeal I would try and do everything in my power to raise awareness and find a cure.  Maybe she just doesn't know about all the vaccination research that's currently happening, and how many of these places need the extra funding to keep going?  Not sure where I'm going with this 😂 But does anyone think it's worth getting in contact with her about raising some awareness?
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Alda whatever is going on for your arm you can rest assured it is not at all likely to be herpes. Could the blister type things be from the massage causing irritation, perhaps even contact dermatitis? If you aren't seeing improvement soon consider seeing the doctor but it doesn't strike me as anything of much concern.
    • Alda
      I need help; i went and got a massage and 2 days later my upper arm feels super sore and is red with 3 blister type things, each about a small pea size the place I got a massage at was  not very sanitary , it was hot in there and the masseuse was sweating I think (i do have the down south H but haven’t had a breakout in about a year and I still don’t.) my arm does not itch just super sore. I wonder what is on my arm. any ideas?
    • Quest
      It did! There are combinations you can take that will not give you this effect, I just didn't want to do medication anymore. What I am doing https://www.amazon.com/MakingCosmetics-BHT-4-4oz-125g/dp/B01DE780OS read Steve Fowkes free book BHT1/8 t in coconut liquid MCT chain oil. Extremely hard to dissolve. I leave it for a day, must read Steve Fowkes free book online, overdose gets people dizzy! More is not better! Oils will also not get Rancid if you put some in your cooking oils! whole food vitamin, glutamine 3x one gram, suggested by case9 love it DHEA,25mg, most people who breakout have low levels lugols iodine worked way to four drops. Fulvic acid minerals. Thyriod granular meds   When I used to have obs I used monolaurin and st.John s wort. I used diaper rash cream for obs I also still spray genitals with zinc sulfate mixed with water. I learned it kills any virus plus summer sweat won't smell at all!  There is one thing I will not be without and that's BHT and zinc sulfate
    • blurneworder
      Did your hair grow back?
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