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kayce

Can we Have seperate sites?

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kayce

I have had GHSV2 for about a year and a half now. I also have HSV1 I am unsure what location or for how long. I just get so angry when people get upset about having type 1. Really? Honestly? You will realize in a week that NOBODY CARES! you are normal. You are unlikely to get rejected for this. YOu are unlikely for people to say how gross or disgusting it is. Or even worse, when they talk about how lucky they are and how they don't have to disclose. It's just like we get it you are lucky if you don't have a problem get off the site. Don't just rub it in that you barely have herpes and it will barely affect you or your partners. WE get it! Good for you! I cannot and will not be happy for you so just be quiet already. While you don't have to disclose you HSV1 to anybody. I just want support from people with type 2. I do not need the input of people with type 1 they don't count. They barely have herpes and I don't want to hear them complain and I don't want to hear them be happy. I am happy that my OB's aren't visible but I would rather have the one with less stigma. Even if I had it genitally.I am not one to get upset but that makes me so livid. The thing is I still date and meet guys who accept me but my sex life is different nobody will give me oral and I think recently that has started to make me really angry because it just reinforces how I'm not normal. Hearing the type 1 people complain just adds fuel to my fire. If only we had different sites for type 1 and type 2...

Anyway I'm done... thats all I have to say. I know it is mean and insensitive to the type 1 folks but this is rant & rave so I feel like this is my place where I can be mean. Sorry if you are type 1 and I offended you.

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osten

That's a terrible idea. Never mind how insensitive this is to the people who suffer psychologically or physically with HSV-1, you now want to stigmatize people with HSV-2 even further by relegating them to their own site?

The fact that HSV-1 and HSV-2 are basically the same affliction, stigma aside, should come as a comfort to you. You aren't different than them. If you feel so, or feel the way you do, it's because you are buying into the very stigma that makes HSV-2 supposedly "worse" in the first place.

You should look at those who have HSV-1 as an indication that you too are normal. That there's very little medically different between what you have and what they have. That you, like them, have cold sores, and that's it.

People who have HSV-1 don't "barely have herpes". They have herpes, just as you do. They need support, or may want to give support, just as you do.

Didn't we just have an almost identical thread to this, anyway?

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robert57

you are normal, if someone does not want to preform oral sex on you,find someone who will, the hell with them.

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mrroboto

kayce - if someone has HSV2 in the mouth does that counts as "barely" herpes? Or if someone has HSV1 in the genitals, is that also barely herpes? Herpes is Herpes and the majority of the population suffers from one kind of the infection. Unfortunately the stigma is real but it is up to you how much you let that stigma impact your life.

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hellonearth
I have had GHSV2 for about a year and a half now. I also have HSV1 I am unsure what location or for how long. I just get so angry when people get upset about having type 1. Really? Honestly? You will realize in a week that NOBODY CARES! you are normal. You are unlikely to get rejected for this. YOu are unlikely for people to say how gross or disgusting it is. Or even worse, when they talk about how lucky they are and how they don't have to disclose. It's just like we get it you are lucky if you don't have a problem get off the site. Don't just rub it in that you barely have herpes and it will barely affect you or your partners. WE get it! Good for you! I cannot and will not be happy for you so just be quiet already. While you don't have to disclose you HSV1 to anybody. I just want support from people with type 2. I do not need the input of people with type 1 they don't count. They barely have herpes and I don't want to hear them complain and I don't want to hear them be happy. I am happy that my OB's aren't visible but I would rather have the one with less stigma. Even if I had it genitally.I am not one to get upset but that makes me so livid. The thing is I still date and meet guys who accept me but my sex life is different nobody will give me oral and I think recently that has started to make me really angry because it just reinforces how I'm not normal. Hearing the type 1 people complain just adds fuel to my fire. If only we had different sites for type 1 and type 2...

Anyway I'm done... thats all I have to say. I know it is mean and insensitive to the type 1 folks but this is rant & rave so I feel like this is my place where I can be mean. Sorry if you are type 1 and I offended you.

I remember a while back I got a call from a friend who was crying...she confessed her doctor told her she had H....I didn't have it at the time and I thought to myself omg!! wtf!!... BUT I gave her some comforting advice, a day or two later she called me back and said "oh I'm cool, it was only the H that everybody has the one that causes a cold sore on the lip"...we laughed it off and boy was she relieved and even though I'm in my 20's I knew nothing of H in depth at the time, only that it causes bumps/sores, and would have NEVER THOUGHT THAT a year or so later I WOULD HAVE THE REAL NASTY AND DISGUSTING TYPE OF H that nobody wants. The one that really counts, the one that destroys you mentally and physically, the one that lessens your ability to connect physically with someone, the one that I'd never be brave enough to tell even her (a close "friend") about! So I share this story to say that I wish I had H1 if there was a choice between the two. H1 is child's play, I don't think she even discloses that, being that she along with a few of my other friends have so many bf's and are able to date with no hesitation. I am so freaking mad every time I think about it. H2 is the worst mess to get if you have H1 thank God right now, lucky you...and I am jealous, H2 patients might as well have Aids! (Yeah I SAID IT!...with tears)

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mrroboto

ok im still confused and cant get a good answer from these thread participant....so again, If you have HSV1 in genitals, is that ok and stigma free? That is anyone with HSV1 can feel relieved that it is just a cold sore/blister and there is no need for talk and I can have sex freely including oral sex? and if during that process they pass it to someone; say from your mouth to the partner genitals you just tell them "dont worry my love, it is just a "cold sore"...really? Or if someone has HSV2 in the mouth that person then has to wear the scarlet H becuase is 2 and even though it looks like cold sores/blisters it is worst?...really?

I am open to read your replies and arguments about the difference between H 1 and 2...please.

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MsLucy

It used to be that people with type 1 had it orally, and type 2, genitally. That's changed in recent years. The incidence of type 1 genital herpes has increased tremendously. Uh... who do you suppose is responsible for that? The people with the 'good' herpes who think they don't have take precautions, because it's common, and it's normal, and nobody cares.

Herpes is herpes. Where you happen to contract it is just geography. But people with oral herpes are just as likely to pass it on to someone genitally as anyone else.

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ICherri

I feel the post was not treating gay females or men fairly. As a gay,female my oral HSV is a big deal since oral sex is a big part of my sexual relationship..not to be graphic but my mouth is almost like a penis to my partners. I know gay females who ONLY use oral sex as thier form of sexual pleasure.

So if u have oral HSV it is a BIG.deal...to some women its like havin herpes on the penis.

I have been rejected by female partners due to my NO BIG DEAL COLD SORES.

Every time I do give oral or kiss a negative partner I do stress and still feel guilty even though I disclose.

I know some men who can understand what I am talkin about..woman love oral sex!

Keep in mind we dont all live in ur world and HSV affects us in different ways.

Also as for u not gettin oral sex from ur partner..thats bull and I would not stand for it. Educate him on the risks of getting oral HSV from u and move on if he still refuses...as I stated women love oral sex!

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Cymenthy

kayce,

I am afraid you are badly misinformed. When I had my first outbreak with genital herpes 1, I thought the world had come to an end. It was absolutely horrific, and the most painful thing I had ever had. True, some people never have more outbreaks, but some of us do, and they are not pleasant. As far as social stigma, genital herpes 1 is as much a social stigma as is herpes 2, and where on earth did you get the idea that we do not have to inform partners? Yes, there is not as big a chance of passing it on, but it does happen, and who can live with that. The person who gave it to me had no idea that he had herpes because of a cold sore in the past, and did not know he was putting anyone at risk. Had I had a cold sore in my life time, I probably would not have gotten it, but I did, and my psychological pain is every bit as great as yours. And the man now has to face the reality that has passed this on to me and may pass it on in the future. The fact is, you got your herpes from having sex and so did those of us with genital herpes1. Get off your high horse and have some compassion.

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robert57

it,s all bullshit,they are all the same, need to be careful when you have a ob, you can transmit it.

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SCG

Yeah, HSV1 and HSV2 are basically the same. Except for the FACT that HSV2 usually causes more outbreaks, is more infectious, and is a completely different virus (hence, the reason they are named different types 1 and 2).

Has it occurred to you who think they are so similar that HSV1 carries less stigma because, on average, it is much less physically troublesome?

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Cymenthy

Stigma has nothing to do with being physically troublesome. HSV1 carries less stigma because in the past it was usually associated with cold sores above the waiste, and not looked at in a sexual context. Now, more and more HSV1 cases are genital, and signifies sexual activity as does HSV2, and is looked at with the same stigma as HSV2. Genital HSV1 can still cause much physical pain and is still infectious. If you tell a partner that you have a three percent chance of passing on HSV1 instead of a five percent chance of passing on HSV2, do you really think that will make a difference? If they are going to run, they will run just as fast. Let's face it, whatever name you use this thing is just a virus and the stigma is not about it, it is about people's thoughts about sex. I don't give a darn about anyone knowing I have a virus. It's about people thinking I must have no moral values. Don't know if that makes sense, but it's just my take on it.

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SCG

I just thought some FACTS would benefit a dicussion filled with semantics ("it's very rare to transmit genital hsv1, but...") outlier situations with extremely neurotic people ("I was rejected when I told someone I get coldsores."), and blatant lies ("hsv1 and 2 are basically the same virus.").

Get real, people.

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kayce

I don't understand how I'm on a high horse. I don't think I am better than anyone. It is more of a jealousy situation and I was having a bad day. That's why I posted it in RANT AND RAVE I am allowed to be upset. It is hard when I go on the chats and I have an OB and there are people with ORAL HSV1 (which was mainly what i was referring to not GHSV1) who have never had any symptoms whatsoever that are complaining and freaking out when what they have both physically (since they don't get obs) and as far as stigma is not as bad.

I do understand ICherri's point of view I definitely get what you are saying as a gay female. So good point there.

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osten
Yeah, HSV1 and HSV2 are basically the same. Except for the FACT that HSV2 usually causes more outbreaks, is more infectious, and is a completely different virus (hence, the reason they are named different types 1 and 2).

Has it occurred to you who think they are so similar that HSV1 carries less stigma because, on average, it is much less physically troublesome?

Could you please source these facts?

The tags "1" and "2" simply indicate that the two are different strains of a particular virus. They give little indication of exactly how different they are, and they certainly don't signify that they are a "completely different" virus. The statement that they are a completely different virus is in fact completely false. In the case of HSV-1 and 2, they are very similar. With other viruses, such as HIV, the numbered strains are more different from each other.

Where have you read that HSV-1 is more infectious than HSV-2? Obviously, each is more infectious than the other in its "zone of preference". However, when located in an area to which it is particularly suited, HSV-1 is very infectious, and sheds an amount that is comparable to HSV-1 in its zone of preference.

HSV-2, as with HSV-1, causes very few problems in most people. As with HSV-1, it causes either no outbreaks, or such minor outbreaks that they are not recognized in the majority of people who have the virus.

These are the facts.

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SCG
Could you please source these facts?

The tags "1" and "2" simply indicate that the two are different strains of a particular virus. They give little indication of exactly how different they are, and they certainly don't signify that they are a "completely different" virus. The statement that they are a completely different virus is in fact completely false. In the case of HSV-1 and 2, they are very similar. With other viruses, such as HIV, the numbered strains are more different from each other.

Where have you read that HSV-1 is more infectious than HSV-2? Obviously, each is more infectious than the other in its "zone of preference". However, when located in an area to which it is particularly suited, HSV-1 is very infectious, and sheds an amount that is comparable to HSV-1 in its zone of preference.

HSV-2, as with HSV-1, causes very few problems in most people. As with HSV-1, it causes either no outbreaks, or such minor outbreaks that they are not recognized in the majority of people who have the virus.

These are the facts.[/quote

You are completely full of shit. Hsv1 and hsv2 have 50% difference in DNA. Humans share more DNA with moths than 50%.

Hsv2 gental is active on average of 20-25 of days while hsv1 oral is 15-18% of days.

Look, Osten, believe whatever you want to make yourself feel better. But don't post blatant lies.

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osten

You are completely full of shit. Hsv1 and hsv2 have 50% difference in DNA. Humans share more DNA with moths than 50%.

Thank you for your civil tone... :(

Do you know what it means for two viruses to have 50% of their DNA to be exactly identical? Viruses are not complex living creatures like animals. The analogy between viral strains and humans versus moths is meaningless. Additionally, the statement that sharing 50% of DNA exactly doesn't give an indication of how similar the rest of the DNA might or might not be, even if it is not identical.

Let's look at the source you got that information on, and quote it in context:

"Under a microscope, HSV-1 and HSV-2 are virtually identical, sharing approximately 50% of their DNA."

Experts seem to be pretty unified in the notion that the two viral strains are very similar.

Hsv2 gental is active on average of 20-25 of days while hsv1 oral is 15-18% of days.

Again, please source this information. From the shedding section of this website:

HSV Type 1 = 18% (of days evaluated) (Oral)

HSV Type 2 = 15 - 20% (of days evaluated) (Genital)

According to these numbers, they basically shed the same amount. Even if the numbers you posted were true, they wouldn't indicate a difference in infectiousness different enough to warrant considering one strain far worse than the other.

Look, Osten, believe whatever you want to make yourself feel better. But don't post blatant lies.

Kindly cease the ad-hominems, and keep to the facts.

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Rob1125

I also find it somewhat irritating to see people with just ohsv-1 complaining and telling "success stories" on here sometimes. 50% of people apparently have it, so really, I can only imagine a very select few partners ever really caring. Why are they getting themselves so worked up and worried about something that most people who have it, and KNOW they have it don't worry about at all? Meanwhile, those of us with genital HSV - whether 1 or 2 - have a much different dating reality to face since even though the viruses are essentially very similar, people are exceptionally afraid of getting it genitally. Where I disagree with the poster is that genital hsv-1 can be and really is still a big deal. Ok sure, some old studies have helped us out a bit by saying shedding is less and having a previous type can MAYBE help prevent transmission, but really - like one person said above, if someone who really doesn't want herpes hear's that you have g-HSV, they don't give a F about some lousy statistic or what type you have. And I'm not just blowing smoke, I've been rejected for ghsv-1, and it still hurts just the same!

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osten

Rob1125, I do find it someone telling that somebody with genital HSV-1 is complaining about people with oral HSV-1 use this site.

There are people who have HSV-2 are complaining that there are people with oral or genital HSV-1 here (see above). They are essentially saying that you shouldn't be here. Yet along comes somebody with genital HSV-1, says "we suffer too", and then states that it's "irritating" that oral HSV-1 sufferers are here too.

Just the fact that those people with oral herpes, or with genital HSV-1 are on here, concerned about their conditions should be indication enough that what they have troubles them enough to seek support.

They have a very similar condition to those who have herpes in other places, and instead of complaining that they are here, why not try to offer them the support that you would want people to give you, and celebrate in their successes if they are lucky enough to have them, just they would likely be happy about yours.

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TXsunshine

They are both called Herpes Simplex Virus because they both are Herpes Simplex Virus. And that catagory consists of two strains: 1 and 2

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Rob1125
Rob1125, I do find it someone telling that somebody with genital HSV-1 is complaining about people with oral HSV-1 use this site.

There are people who have HSV-2 are complaining that there are people with oral or genital HSV-1 here (see above). They are essentially saying that you shouldn't be here. Yet along comes somebody with genital HSV-1, says "we suffer too", and then states that it's "irritating" that oral HSV-1 sufferers are here too.

Just the fact that those people with oral herpes, or with genital HSV-1 are on here, concerned about their conditions should be indication enough that what they have troubles them enough to seek support.

They have a very similar condition to those who have herpes in other places, and instead of complaining that they are here, why not try to offer them the support that you would want people to give you, and celebrate in their successes if they are lucky enough to have them, just they would likely be happy about yours.

Very fair point Osten. We should embrace anyone who is struggling with any type. And really, "irritating" was a very poor choice of words in my previous post. I suppose I'm simply more surprised when I hear about someone struggling to date with ohsv-1, not really irritated. The more I think about it, what actually kind of bothers me about seeing those posts is the conclusion I subconsciously make that says if someone is getting repeatedly rejected for ohsv-1, then I must really be screwed with ghsv-1. Not necessarily the most sound, or sympathetic logic, but one I now realize I've been using. However as you suggested, I certainly do not disregard the fact that some with ohsv-1 do suffer and should be welcome to support. My apologies if anyone was offended by that last post.

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osten
What about me (and I'm not the only one in this site) that has both oral and genital!

Clearly those who have both ought to have their own third site. Perhaps in fact they should also be separated into different sites based on which strain is where (i.e oral HSV-1 and genital HSV-2, oral HSV-2 and genital HSV-1, etc).

We would want separate sites of course for those who have herpes whitlow and gladitorium... :cool:

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Acesheart

I think we have enough categories for all the different herps types here. I like the facts that we all blend together ;) . Hugs Ace

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