Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
JustKeepSwimming3

Confused

Recommended Posts

JustKeepSwimming3

Okay so my ex-boyfriend, who gave me H, and I broke up in October because he found out I had been cheating on him (not proud of it). Well now we are trying to work things out, but I feel like he keeps making excuses for me to not go see him (he's in a different city). I am starting to wonder if he is pretending like he wants to work things out just so he can hurt me like I hurt him. But I know him so well...we dated for almost two years very seriously...I can't imagine he would ever do something so malicious. I don't know if it's my gut instincts talking or if it's my guilt talking. I don't know what to do. And now my mom is asking me if I am only trying to make things work with him because we both have a virus that is socially unacceptable and I'm afraid to try dating anyone else. I don't think that's what I'm doing. I love him, and I miss him and what we had terribly. But she says I never would have done what I did if I really felt how I say I feel. But my actions really had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me being an asshole...I don't know what to think or do. Ugh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hatsu

well, what I'm thinking is that your ex is seeing someone. I can't imagine why he won't let you come and see him, if he doesn't have someone else he's hiding. sometimes it's best to listen to your gut, so thread carefully.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RealisticGal

Lean Back

I have to wonder about your true "motivation" for the infidelity, JustKeepSwimming.

I don't know your story. I don't know whether or not your ex was aware he had HSV before he gave it to you or not. I don't know whether or not you have directed any anger/blame toward him, even if he didn't know. But I have to wonder about all those things as a possible "reason" for your cheating.

I agree with hatsu that he might possibly be hiding something.

My thought is that it would be a good idea to back off from this attempt to reconcile with him, at least for a while. Get busy doing other stuff. Occupy yourself with your work or studies or hobbies or whatever. Don't be rude, but don't go out of your way to engage him. Don't be the first to contact him. Just lean back and see whether or not he pursues the matter.

I believe if you do that...you will be able to get a sense of where he really stands and what he really wants.

Just a few thoughts...

:wavey:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JustKeepSwimming3

I don't think he is seeing anyone else. If that were the case, he never would have agreed to talk to me...he would have just kept moving forward without looking back. And he works 12 hour days 6 days a week...and he's not one to go out in his free time...he is a homebody. But of course you never really know, as I've proven with my own actions.

He knew he had it, and he told me the very first night we started seeing each other. He was upfront about it and I always appreciated that. I've never been angry with him about that. His H status never mattered to me, and when I got it, it didn't matter to me either. My love for him overshadowed that completely. My infidelity sparked from him losing his job because he chose a drug over stability...he had to move to a different city and would not stop smoking nor try to get another job back where I live. I was angry at him, not just for being away, but for not making an effort for our future. And so I took solice in the arms of someone who had a steady job and was willing to take care of me. I really am not trying to justify my actions...I know what I did was wrong. I'm just saying...it stemmed from my anger because of that situation, and I acted out in the wrong ways.

If I back off, then he is going to think I'm not trying. I think he is testing to me to see if I will be willing to work things out and make an effort even in the midst of all these obstacles. He also told me that half of him wants to see me but the other half is still so hurt and angry that he is scared to see me because he doesn't know how he will act.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hatsu

well if you think you know what's going on, then why are you saying you're confused? or is it that you don't have anyone else to talk to about this, so you want to know what anyone thinks? because you sound pretty sure about everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,746
    • Total Posts
      470,346
  • Posts

    • Sarah889
      Really wasn't sure which topic to put this in! I'm guessing a lot of you will have seen the recent news that Mel B was rushed to hospital thinking she was blind from her eye herpes.  I know she's not as famous as she used to be, but I really don't understand why celebrities with a big presence aren't doing anything about this, such as fundraising for a cure or even just talking about it to raise awareness. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think she's ever spoken about it before!  She clearly suffers from some bad symptoms. Thinking that you've gone blind must have been one of the most terrifying experiences, and to me, after that ordeal I would try and do everything in my power to raise awareness and find a cure.  Maybe she just doesn't know about all the vaccination research that's currently happening, and how many of these places need the extra funding to keep going?  Not sure where I'm going with this 😂 But does anyone think it's worth getting in contact with her about raising some awareness?
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Alda whatever is going on for your arm you can rest assured it is not at all likely to be herpes. Could the blister type things be from the massage causing irritation, perhaps even contact dermatitis? If you aren't seeing improvement soon consider seeing the doctor but it doesn't strike me as anything of much concern.
    • Alda
      I need help; i went and got a massage and 2 days later my upper arm feels super sore and is red with 3 blister type things, each about a small pea size the place I got a massage at was  not very sanitary , it was hot in there and the masseuse was sweating I think (i do have the down south H but haven’t had a breakout in about a year and I still don’t.) my arm does not itch just super sore. I wonder what is on my arm. any ideas?
    • Quest
      It did! There are combinations you can take that will not give you this effect, I just didn't want to do medication anymore. What I am doing https://www.amazon.com/MakingCosmetics-BHT-4-4oz-125g/dp/B01DE780OS read Steve Fowkes free book BHT1/8 t in coconut liquid MCT chain oil. Extremely hard to dissolve. I leave it for a day, must read Steve Fowkes free book online, overdose gets people dizzy! More is not better! Oils will also not get Rancid if you put some in your cooking oils! whole food vitamin, glutamine 3x one gram, suggested by case9 love it DHEA,25mg, most people who breakout have low levels lugols iodine worked way to four drops. Fulvic acid minerals. Thyriod granular meds   When I used to have obs I used monolaurin and st.John s wort. I used diaper rash cream for obs I also still spray genitals with zinc sulfate mixed with water. I learned it kills any virus plus summer sweat won't smell at all!  There is one thing I will not be without and that's BHT and zinc sulfate
    • blurneworder
      Did your hair grow back?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.