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Stopping by to say hi!


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Hey there everyone--I am new to the support group and I just wanted see what was up. I have had herpes for about 11 years now but I am now a single guy with herpes. I didn't underline that for invitations just a reason to my need for support and information.

I knew my ex had herpes before we got married but that didn't matter to me. I am not bitter or angry now that we are now longer together its just a part of life now. We actually had intercourse many times without protection without consequences until we did when she knew she was having an outbreak. Sadly she didn't tell me so that is my story.

It has been slightly odd for me though, because even as she would have outbreaks throughout the years I have not had an outbreak, or even symptoms, since that initial outbreak. Is this odd?

Well I look forward to the interaction with you all...

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6 months and counting

I was recently diagnosed and I have had it for 6 months. My only outbreak so far has been the initial one. I also feel like this is kind of weird from what I have been reading.

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7 weeks and waiting...

Hah...you guys are very lucky. I had a horrible outbreak the first time. (I was diagnosed with it 7 weeks ago, when I had my first outbreak after contracting it 2-3 weeks before.) So far, I've had a 2nd outbreak. While it hasn't been nearly as bad as the first one, it still hurts, and it's totally depressing. :x

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Well, it sounds like you guys have similar stories to mine....finally someone I can relate to! All the stuff I've read on the web makes me think that if one has herpes, they have OBs on a regular basis and their awful. I haven't been back to my doctor since the inital diagnosis last fall and I'm starting to wonder if I even really have herpes. I'm glad that it's not severe, I just feel kind of odd.

I posted to this thread as a newbie but I'll tell more of my story here. I am married but was unfaithful to my husband last summer. We are still together and things are going well now. He's an incredible man! Anyway, I believe I contracted GH from the guy I was involved with but he swears up and down that he's clean. That's probably a lie but I don't know. My first OB was horrible because of the muscle aches, fever, etc and to make things worse, I passed it on to my husband. He's had 3 or 4 OBs since then, nothing major and even though I have it too, he always uses a condom if we have sex when he has an outbreak because he's afraid he'll cause me to have an internal OB. The only OBs I've had have shown up on my butt. I tend to think of them as one OB because they were so close together. Is it possible to know if you are in an asympotmatic shedding stage?

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Assymptomatic shedding

Assymptomatic is without symptoms. Loosly interpreted it's clear that if you don't have symptoms how do you know when it's happening?

The virus resides in the nervous system and probably the best indicator is when you get that tingling take note - sometimes it results in an ob and sometimes not. It can also feel like little paper cuts or bee stings or just tender.

(physically write it down somewhere if you suspect something might trigger one)

Pay attention - are you near your period? Are you experiencing stress? Are you eating healthy or did you go treat yourself to some foods that contain triggers (arginine)? Stress can be happy stuff too such as are you excited about a uncoming event such as a vacation etc.

You may be able to predict what things lead to ob's and cut them off at the pass. I take extra lysine if I suspect something or I take an extra dose of antivirals and drink more water.

The more time you spend ob free it goes to reason that your immune system is doing its job and the amount of shedding without symptoms may be reduced. Get healthy and build your immune system so it can be at peak performance and keep the ob's away.

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  • Administrator

Herpes outbreak recurrences

The typical frequency of an outbreak, statistically speaking, is once every three months (or four times per year)... however, herpes outbreaks vary greatly from person to person. For example, some women experience monthly outbreaks that coincide with their menstrual cycle whereby others may only experience one or two outbreaks over a number of years. It just depends. The immune system plays a large role, as well as the strand of the virus and the location.

You may like to read these articles for further advice:

Herpes Recurrences

Herpes and the Immune System

Hope this helps,


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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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