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momoftwo

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momoftwo Newbie

momoftwo

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Hello; I just found out I have herpes. The doctor acted like it was no big deal. I am devastated! My 7 year marriage has had so many ups and downs (lots of downs) and now this! I feel sick that this could happen to me... I guess my husband performed oral sex on me while he was having an outbreak on his lips. I choose to belive that anyway. He has been unfaithful to me me in the past, and I can only hope and pray that this virus did not come from another partner. I don't know what else to think... or to say... this is all so new and scary to me. My sister has genital herpes, so I guess I should talk to her about it. I don't want anyone to judge me for having this. I am already at an all-time low on the self-esteem scale for being fat... This sucks, and I just want it to all go away! Thanks for listening...

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uk girl Established Member

uk girl

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hi momoftwo, I dont know if this might be any good advice for you , but it works for me when it all gets a bit overwhelming.

Try and pigeonhole your problems, so u can tackle them bit by bit,

eg:The doctors attitude/Thats his job just to diagnose and give you the facts.

Marriage problems/ no marriage or relationship is without fault,if you still love one another then you can turn your relationship around,starting with trust and honesty

we can beat ourselves up with how why? if? it wont make u feel any better and will just keep going round in circles, the sooner we can try and accept it, the sooner we can move on.

I know you are feeling scared, alone down and sad its a horrible place to be,i think we can all recognise those feelings, it does get easier day by day,try and read as much info as possible coming on this site will let you air those negative thoughts, its good therapy!!

The fact your sister has herpes can really help you, talk to her she wont judge,and at the same time you will be helping her, for you to know about her, she must of been able to confide in you,talking is the greatest medicine in coming to terms with this.

Self-esteem/why do you not think you are a lovely person?we all have good points and bad,try not to be so down on yourself, thier are enough people out thier who will do it for you.Yes we would all probably want to look like someone out of baywatch, but it wouldnt do for us all to be the same!!! everyone has hang-ups about some part of thier body.

Try and smile it can transform your whole self, even if inside you feel like crap.

Try and see something funny in a bad situation(this has got me in to loads of trouble though!!)

When i was first diagnosed(3 weeks ago) my husband took a few days off work, i think he was sick of the abusive phone callsfrom me!!!!

I turned to him and said"if i have got to have this horrible disease then with the side effects why cant one of them be weight loss!!!"

During my first OB he did all the ironing, now although i am scared about having one again there is a part of me when i see how much ironing i have now that makes me think, every cloud has a silver lining!!!

Hope this has helped(yes i do have a warped sense of humour!!)

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momoftwo Newbie

momoftwo

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Thank you!

UK girl... Thank you so much for the positive words of encouragement! Things look a little better today; I know they will keep improving. I have a pretty good attitude towards life (usually) and don't let things keep me down. This virus is just the topping on the cake of a really crappy Easter weekend! I've already confided in several of my friends; I feel a little better. I am going to call my sister tonight and talk with her as well. You have made me feel much better about myself and I am very greatful for your time! Maybe we can continue to keep in touch... Thanks again! momoftwo

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