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Hello; I just found out I have herpes. The doctor acted like it was no big deal. I am devastated! My 7 year marriage has had so many ups and downs (lots of downs) and now this! I feel sick that this could happen to me... I guess my husband performed oral sex on me while he was having an outbreak on his lips. I choose to belive that anyway. He has been unfaithful to me me in the past, and I can only hope and pray that this virus did not come from another partner. I don't know what else to think... or to say... this is all so new and scary to me. My sister has genital herpes, so I guess I should talk to her about it. I don't want anyone to judge me for having this. I am already at an all-time low on the self-esteem scale for being fat... This sucks, and I just want it to all go away! Thanks for listening...

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hi momoftwo, I dont know if this might be any good advice for you , but it works for me when it all gets a bit overwhelming.

Try and pigeonhole your problems, so u can tackle them bit by bit,

eg:The doctors attitude/Thats his job just to diagnose and give you the facts.

Marriage problems/ no marriage or relationship is without fault,if you still love one another then you can turn your relationship around,starting with trust and honesty

we can beat ourselves up with how why? if? it wont make u feel any better and will just keep going round in circles, the sooner we can try and accept it, the sooner we can move on.

I know you are feeling scared, alone down and sad its a horrible place to be,i think we can all recognise those feelings, it does get easier day by day,try and read as much info as possible coming on this site will let you air those negative thoughts, its good therapy!!

The fact your sister has herpes can really help you, talk to her she wont judge,and at the same time you will be helping her, for you to know about her, she must of been able to confide in you,talking is the greatest medicine in coming to terms with this.

Self-esteem/why do you not think you are a lovely person?we all have good points and bad,try not to be so down on yourself, thier are enough people out thier who will do it for you.Yes we would all probably want to look like someone out of baywatch, but it wouldnt do for us all to be the same!!! everyone has hang-ups about some part of thier body.

Try and smile it can transform your whole self, even if inside you feel like crap.

Try and see something funny in a bad situation(this has got me in to loads of trouble though!!)

When i was first diagnosed(3 weeks ago) my husband took a few days off work, i think he was sick of the abusive phone callsfrom me!!!!

I turned to him and said"if i have got to have this horrible disease then with the side effects why cant one of them be weight loss!!!"

During my first OB he did all the ironing, now although i am scared about having one again there is a part of me when i see how much ironing i have now that makes me think, every cloud has a silver lining!!!

Hope this has helped(yes i do have a warped sense of humour!!)

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Thank you!

UK girl... Thank you so much for the positive words of encouragement! Things look a little better today; I know they will keep improving. I have a pretty good attitude towards life (usually) and don't let things keep me down. This virus is just the topping on the cake of a really crappy Easter weekend! I've already confided in several of my friends; I feel a little better. I am going to call my sister tonight and talk with her as well. You have made me feel much better about myself and I am very greatful for your time! Maybe we can continue to keep in touch... Thanks again! momoftwo

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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