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zane18

Dating someone with H

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zane18

Hello, I'm new to this form & to the idea of herpes. I'm hoping to find some guidance & hear some personal experiences to help me bc right now I'm very confused.

Recently, I have been seeing a great girl who I like very much. Over the weekend, we had the talk & she told me she has ghsv2. The fact that she disclosed this before sex further shows me how great of a girl she is & is now making this decision more difficult. My instincts tell me to run; I've always been fearful of STD's, I'm only 25, very health oriented, just graduated from UCLA, have my whole life ahead of me, & who knows how long our relationship will last .

I feel this way, yet I have spent the whole weekend researching herpes & haven't slept. Emotions seem to be much stronger than logic at times. I like this girl a lot & my glimmer of hope has been the fact that female to male transmission rates are very low. I have a few questions I hope someone can answer. I have read that female to male transmission rates are 3-4% a year; combine antiviral suppression therapy & condoms to the mix & the chances drop down even more to 1-2%. I think I am willing to risk a 2% chance for this girl, I mean there is always risks in life right.

I curious to hear of the successful & unsuccessful relationships you all of had with a non-h & transmission.

Are there any vitamins, medicine, or lubes I could take or use to lower the transmission rates even closer to zero?

Also, people who have faced rejection, is there a nice way? I am not sure if I can get over my fear of herpes. Risking a life long STD is a big commitment when you have only been dating for 2 months so please don't classify me as an asshole.

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Elle22

Most cases of transmission are from someone who doesn't know they have hsv so they don't take precautions. There are many on here that have had hsv for years and never passed it on.

But, in a worst case scenario, you get hsv. It does not effect one's health beyond having outbreaks. Not all people with hsv have any symptoms. Also, with a rate of 1 in 4 girls having genital hsv, there is a good chance you have come in contact with it already.

Here is an article about stds that might be good for you to read:

http://postmasculine.com/std-guide

As for rejection, let's be honest, that always sucks on the receiving end. Just put it nicely, don't make her feel like she is dirty or you fear it. Say something like you don't know if you are ready to take that risk.

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ICherri

I feel u should not be going into this relationship thinkin about ways to not get it but accept u might. If u are not able to accept this than maybe ur not ready for the risk.

When I tell my partners...I tell them dont think about all the ways to prevent it..I will do anything in my power to prevent that..but to make peace wit getting HSV.

I feel this makes the relationship be able to withstand HSV..if u get it there will not be blame.guilt.shame cause u have already dealt wit getting it.

Think how it will affect u emotionally and future dating.Think about ur support system if u two break up. Is there people u can lean on for support?

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Acesheart
Hello, I'm new to this form & to the idea of herpes. I'm hoping to find some guidance & hear some personal experiences to help me bc right now I'm very confused.

Recently, I have been seeing a great girl who I like very much. Over the weekend, we had the talk & she told me she has ghsv2. The fact that she disclosed this before sex further shows me how great of a girl she is & is now making this decision more difficult. My instincts tell me to run; I've always been fearful of STD's, I'm only 25, very health oriented, just graduated from UCLA, have my whole life ahead of me, & who knows how long our relationship will last .

I feel this way, yet I have spent the whole weekend researching herpes & haven't slept. Emotions seem to be much stronger than logic at times. I like this girl a lot & my glimmer of hope has been the fact that female to male transmission rates are very low. I have a few questions I hope someone can answer. I have read that female to male transmission rates are 3-4% a year; combine antiviral suppression therapy & condoms to the mix & the chances drop down even more to 1-2%. I think I am willing to risk a 2% chance for this girl, I mean there is always risks in life right.

I curious to hear of the successful & unsuccessful relationships you all of had with a non-h & transmission.

Are there any vitamins, medicine, or lubes I could take or use to lower the transmission rates even closer to zero?

Also, people who have faced rejection, is there a nice way? I am not sure if I can get over my fear of herpes. Risking a life long STD is a big commitment when you have only been dating for 2 months so please don't classify me as an asshole.

Hey zane, welcome to our family :wavey: . I am female, married to a still non h man for 22 years. I got my h 25 years ago from my first husband, and I take antivirals daily. We started out using condoms, but we had a daughter and we stopped the condoms everytime we had sexy times. We now don't use them at All! He has never gotten my h. We have never used protections for oral pleasures and only used condoms for a while on and off. I miscarried 8 years ago, after that we rarely used them, I had hysterectomy after I lost my son. My husband I told before we ever dated, I wanted him to run! I had baggage way before getting herps. He stayed and invested in us, he saw what I didn't. He never saw me as diseased or unclean, he just saw a beatiful young Spanish woman who was broken inside. I was abandoned and now getting divorced, he wanted me :) . I made him wait two full years before my mind and body was ready to love again. See we have always wanted same things out of life. Home, kids, partner to catch you when you fall, someone to celebrate your victories in life. We built a foundation. He thanked me too for being honest about my h. I have only had two outbreaks ever on supressive therapy and I also take Vit.b12 complex, now its liquid. I get it at walgreens. We have never given h any powers or controls, over what we would or could have. He like me. Had only had one other partner that they loved, the real love. He wanted what most ppl in the mid twentys wanted back then, to settle down and build a future. I can only tell you his belief and faith in me saved me. I never wanted to ever love another after I was in divorce precedings, I was done with trusting anyone, ever again. I pushed him away, he leaned harder. I knew he wasn't leaving and my meds were working. Two years no other outbreak and I was so sexually lonely. I gave it a shot, try love one more time, as luck would have it, he proposed. Of course I said yes, and now 22 years later we are still together. We have never regreted taking that time to getting to know each other. We did what was known as "courting" . He and spent time togther, when I wasn't working, I fought hard to make him leave, give up, find a girl with no baggage, he wasn't having that. He still to this day has never seen me as herps girl, he saw my heart and the pain I went through. If you want to make a go with this girl, use condoms, ( they only protect 30%) ask her to take antivirals before sexy times, and never give h power over this relationship! We didn't have internet back then, I learned more this past years than ever in my life, I'm 49. We still have oral and sexy times. He tested properly a few months ago, he is still non h man :) . He also knows tho the risk are low, very low, he still could get my h. We have a running joke, my h loves my body and it won't leave, I believe not stressing h all these years, has been one of many factors in being outbreak free. Good luck. May I say you are a special man to do the research for her h. This will help you know whether you can be the one who gets this beautiful young lady. It's great that you are supportive. Many don't get that. Take care. Here is a book www.westoverheights.com , please read this book. Hugs to you both. Truly, Ace :hithere:

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Amberleaf

Hi Zane, I am in exactly the same situation. I want to start a relationship with a man who has literally just told me 2 hours ago that his last girlfriend had two outbreaks when they were together although he is asymptomatic and always has been. I have been friends with him for some time, really like him and am falling for him. I too am very health conscious and get freaked out about these sorts of issues. I am so pleased he has told me and he is being understanding about my refusal to have any sexual contact with him until I know more, and he says he has researched into the efficacy of condoms etc and other things to make it less likely but he isn't pushing me. I guess I am just a little taken aback and scared if I am honest but it hasn't made me think any less of him, in fact I like him even more that he has told me before anything happens between us. So no... I don't think you're an asshole. I get where you're coming from :)

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    • Artfulsoul
      Thanks for your story.  It seems similar to mine. Fortunately for you it seems your boyfriend is willing to pursue some kind of understanding. Since I wrote about what happened to me, my boyfriend broke up with me. The ironic thing is he told me this happened to him about 15 years ago with another woman. He said it was very traumatic for him and felt like the same thing once again. So it seems he had been exposed before and could very possibly have already been carrying the virus. Perhaps he knew and didn't tell me. I am really not sure but the relationship is over for now since he won't discuss it with me. So much fear information and confusion out there about the virus. I don't think they really understand how it happens so they tell everyone to be careful. Even having the virus it has been such a non-issue in my life until now that it appears there is so much stigma around it. It seems more like it is the Pharmaceutical companies wanting to make money off a common virus that affects so many on such a deep level, receiving love and physical contact.  Feels like a big scam to me.  The information was so different when there were no drugs to reduce or suppress the virus. It is all very confusing to me.
    • doh!
      I don't have hsv1 (2 instead) but yes, it is posssible to have an ob without the usual syptoms- or to miss more subtle signals. in my exprience said ob is mild (ie not painful).
    • lonelysoul
      Private message me please.
    • raka
      I contacted one of the ayurveda doctor in india he is saying there is 60% chances of cure through ayurveda for herpes Details: Please see the treatment details mentioned below
      Treatment Duration: 12 months - 18 months - 24 months.
       
      Generally majority of young patients with not a long history of infection gets cured in initial 12 months, but there are possibilities that the cure might need a total of 2 year’s medication too.
       
      Therefore you can start with first 6 months of medication and depending upon the results and prognosis further medication can be ordered later. 
       
      Initial results of our medication will be felt after completion of 90 days to 120 days and generally the symptoms don’t occur after 120 days or sometimes even if the symptoms re-occurs it will be mild and will disappear shortly,
       
      Please understand that, we are not treating the symptoms but the virus, therefore till the virus is alive inside the body any time symptoms can occur, but majority of cases what we have seen is after the 120 days completion of medication symptoms seldom occurs and even if the symptoms occurs it will be very mild and will go away faster, so dont worry even if you get any symptoms during the course of medication. 
      Our aim is to cure the virus and not the symptoms, symptoms is just associated with the virus activity and after the 120 days medication the viral activity will be reduced and not fully stopped and that’s why you can get symptoms during the treatment, but this viral activity will be weak, and that’s why symptoms will be milder and will go away faster.  As the treatment progresses then the viral activity will further reduce and ultimately the virus will be dead. 
       
      About Medication: Medication will be in the tablet format which will be of 4 different variety to be taken after food. Generally non vegetarian food has to be reduced to the maximum while on treatment. Consume more of vegetarian food only for better and fast results.
        For your information, the names of our medicines with ingredient details are given below, you have to take the below mentioned combination of 4 medicine in tablet form.
      1) Tablet DERMA FORTE
      Batch No: 258
      EACH TABLET CONTAINS
      Terminalia chebula
      curcuma-longa
      Purified Berberis aristata
      Shudh Gandhak
      Azadirachta indica
      Wrightia tinctoria
      Picrorhiza Kurroa
      Rasamanikya
      Fumeria Parviflora decoction
      Andrographis Paniculata Decoction
      Tinospora Cordifolia decoction
       
      2) Tablet GR TONEFORTE
      Batch No: 259
      EACH TABLET CONTAINS
      Godugdha – Cow milk
      Water decoction / juice extract of
      Twak – Cinnamon – Cinnamomum zeylanicum
      Ela – Cardamom – Elettaria cardamomum
      Patra – Cinnamomum tamala
      Nagakeshara – Mesua ferrea
      Guduchi – Indian Tinospora (stem) – Tinospora cordifolia
      Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan (fruit rind) – Terminalia chebula
      Amalaki -Indian Gooseberry- Emblica officinalis / Phyllanthus emblica
      Vibhitaki – Belliric Myrobalan – Terminalia bellirica
      Shunti – Ginger (rhizome) – Zingiber officinalis
      Bhringaraja – Eclipta alba
      Ardraka – Ginger (rhizome) – Zingiber officinalis
       
      3) Tablet KG GULFORTE
      Batch No: 260
      EACH TABLET CONTAINS
      Commiphora mukul
      Terminalia chebula
      Terminalia bellirica
      Emblica officinalis
      Tinospora cordifolia
      Zingiber officinalis
      Piper nigrum
      Piper longum
      Embelia ribes
      Operculina turpethum
      Tinospora cordifolia
       
      4) Bella Tab
      Batch No: 261
      EACH TABLET CONTAINS
       Vidari – Pueraria tuberosa
      Shunti – Ginger Rhizome – Zingiber officinalis
      Maricha – Black pepper – Piper nigrum
      Pippali – Long pepper fruit – Piper longum
      Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia chebula
      Vibhitaki – Belliric Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia bellirica
      Amalaki – Indian gooseberry fruit – Emblica officinalis Gaertn.
      Loha Bhasma – Bhasma prepared from Iron
      Vidanga – False black pepper – Embelia ribes
      Vida Lavana – Vida salt
      Samudra Lavana – Common salt
      Saindhava Lavana – Black salt
      Sauvarchala Lavana – Sochal salt
      Romaka Lavana
      Chavya – Java Long Pepper – Piper chaba
      Pippalimoola – Long pepper root – Piper longum
      Hapusha – Juniperus communis
      Vacha – Acorus calamus
      Patha – Cyclea peltata
      Devadaru – Himalayan cedar (bark) – Cedrus deodara
      Ela – Cardamom – Elettaria cardamomum
      Vriddhadaru – Argyrea speciosa
      Trivrit – Operculina turpethum
      Chitraka – Lead Wort (root) – Plumbago zeylanica
      Danti – Baliospermum montanum
      Shati – Curcuma zeodaria / Hedychium spicatum
      Water decoction of Haritaki – Chebulic Myrobalan fruit rind – Terminalia chebula
       Treatment Cost:
       180 days / 6 month treatment cost including 4 different types of medicine to be taken internally will cost you INR 32,400 for full 6 month treatment course.
       Medicine will be sent via DHL to be delivered to your given address
       
      DHL Courier charge to USA will be INR 6500 only, Therefore total cost including the courier charge will be INR 38,900 only
       
      Method to order the medicines:
       
      You can make the payment directly into our Bank account, and send us the payment reference or receipt and after the confirmation of the payment, send us your complete and full postal address, medicine will be dispatched within 4 to 5 working days with complete instructions as how to use it.
       
      Bank Details:
      Bank Name: FEDERAL BANK
      Account Name: Dr Hameed Ibrahim
      Account Number: 14210 2000 13257
      Acc Type: Current
      Branch: Kaloor KADAVANTARA ROAD, Kaloor, ERNAKULAM, Kerala, India
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      MICR CODE: 682049022
       
      You can also make the payment via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram in the name of Dr. Hameed Ibrahim, Kochi Kerala India and send us the code number of the transfer.
       
      You can also pay through PayPal, please let us know if you are interested to pay through PayPal. (Service tax applicable)
       
      Medicines will be sent through courier to your address without revealing any information in the parcel. The parcel of medicine will be concealed and confidential.
       
      FOR PHONE CONSULTATION you can speak with us on our mobile +91- 9995 202 100 to have further calcification in any of these 6 languages (MALAYALAM, HINDI, URDU, KANNADA, TAMIL and ENGLISH).  
       You can also chat with our doctor on whatsApp on this number +91- 9995 202 100   Did anyone tried it from here?
    • Lilhurp
      Also I’ve had them heal and come back almost immediately. Waiting for culture test results. These are the only symptoms I’ve experienced 
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