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breakout or breakdown

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so I've been living with HSV2 for a grand total of four months now. The first week I got the news it was devastating. I was a wreck. I've never felt my life crumble so quickly. It was bad.

but as most of you know life does move on quite quickly and you pick of the shards of your meltdown and continue on. I swear I forget I have this damn thing 99% of the time. I just feel like me, the me I always was.

popular culture destroys me though. I watch movies. I read forums. I peruse the interwebs and as most of you know the people out there are unimaginably cruel. tonight I was spontaneously reduced to tears after finding some thread talking about how we "should be ashamed of ourselves and shipped off to constantinople because this was the US of A and there ain't no dammed infected lepers here!"

I'm TERRIFIED to date again. absolutely scared shitless. I'm still very young and dare I say the prime of my life but no matter how much confidence I have in myself and knowledge that those hurtful things are just pure ignorance and that this disease isn't really that bad ... I'm just plain scared.

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Whatever web site you were on, I suggest you avoid it in the future. They sound like fanatics and hate mongers. If I'm being honest, when I read stuff like that, I always have this evil little hope that those people find themselves with exactly what it is they profess to loathe so much... in this case, a giant oozing blister right where it hurts the most. Poetic justice, I think.

Fortunately, fanatics and freaks are only a small percentage of the people we encounter, although they make the most noise. Don't let them intimidate you. No one with any intelligence takes them seriously, and you shouldn't either.

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Thanks! You're right :) It's just easy to get wrapped up in self-loathing and doubt sometime but at the end of the day this thing really isn't that big of a deal.

I guess I'll just wait until 90% of the population contracts it and also comes to this same realization. until then ...

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