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MissAnonymiss

Online searches for this hurts my pride...

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MissAnonymiss

Every time I do online searches on herpes I always come across the forum questions where someone says they met someone they like and they have herpes, should they continue to date them?

Then I read all the bleeping (self-censorship) comments by intolerant, stupid people about how they shouldn't or people with herpes should only date each other or kill themselves bla bla bla.

It makes me sick and then makes me wish all those people would get infected. Then I remember, wow, I was one of those people...guess in some sadistic, weird way I sort of got my wish?

UGH! Sorry, I needed to vent. I think I'm done doing online searches for a while. I'm going to stick to this site until I come to terms with all of this.. :pcguru:

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Affidat

I understand the frustration, hun. I've been HSV2+ for over a year now, and in this time, have been with three people. All three knew, and didn't care. A lot of people will put up this façade that they're above those with herpes, but the truth, I think, is that they're scared because they're brainwashed.

As a teenager I laughed at the Valtrex ads on TV, with happy couples on a beach very bluntly stating "I have herpes." And well, karma happened all up on my junk. And my friends', as well. Several friends with herpes (and HPV) have gone on to get married, have kids, and not give a frig.

I recently read an article, "Why You Should Assume Everyone Has Herpes". I will link it at the end of this post for you to review, as well. The gist is that 1 in 4 women have HSV2...and 80% of people who test positive don't even know they have it. So I think it's safe to assume it's MORE than 1 in 4 women/1 in 8 men.

As a last point, check out how those outside the US and UK view herpes. There are many, many stories from others affected by HSV that are positive, or at the very least ambivalent. One touching story is by a Korean poster on this board, who states herpes is "not as shunned as syphilis" - a disease that is treatable! I'm fluent in French, and I've found quite a few message boards from French folks laughing at "HSV+ dating sites". Not just "Haha, look at them freak out over a rash.", but full-blown ranting about how stupid and insensitive it is to make these dating sites, as it puts SO MANY people into an "others" category for a highly communicable and probable virus that is reeeally no big deal.

Sorry this was so long-winded. I feel your aggravation regarding these insensitive pricks who just want to tear down people, "others"; they in fact are most likely one of us, too. Shrug. They'll get theirs. But no one deserves to feel ostracized for this. It will be all right, I promise.

I have been developing feelings for someone, and I know he feels the same for me. The talk will not be easy, but it will happen, and considering how ambivalent I feel of it, it will probably go smoothly, just as it has the previous times.

Hugs!

...

Why You Should Assume Everyone Has Herpes:

http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2011/04/latest-genital-herpes

E: And here is a link to a post about France and herpes (and it's destigmatization):

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?52567-Herpes-and-the-French&p=293262#post293262

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MissAnonymiss

Thank you for your post. I really appreciate the articles you sent me and it has given me a better idea of the stigma as well as the disease itself. Maybe I need to move to France! :p

I just hope I can get over this soon...

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Vidhya

As a last point, check out how those outside the US and UK view herpes. There are many, many stories from others affected by HSV that are positive, or at the very least ambivalent. One touching story is by a Korean poster on this board, who states herpes is "not as shunned as syphilis" - a disease that is treatable! I'm fluent in French, and I've found quite a few message boards from French folks laughing at "HSV+ dating sites". Not just "Haha, look at them freak out over a rash.", but full-blown ranting about how stupid and insensitive it is to make these dating sites, as it puts SO MANY people into an "others" category for a highly communicable and probable virus that is reeeally no big deal.

E: And here is a link to a post about France and herpes (and it's destigmatization):

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?52567-Herpes-and-the-French&p=293262#post293262

Exactly. Well said.

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Vidhya

I went looking for some information about this in French, and whenever I looked for "stigma" or legal cases related to "herpes transmission" it was always from Quebec, French Canada. I think I was going nuts after reading this report, where an elderly lady blames and elderly boyfriend for infecting her with HSV1 and 2 at the same time. There is the Valtrex, the expensive medication for life, medicall bills (in a country that should have Universal Health Care like in Europe... which means expensive medication is usually free or costs little when needed) and above all, the psychological torture and suffering you ONLY find in North America. I doubt many people in France would understand what was this all about.

http://www.canlii.org/eliisa/highlight.do?text=herp%C3%A8s&language=fr&searchTitle=Chercher+dans+les+collections+de+CanLII&path=/fr/qc/qccs/doc/2009/2009qccs4036/2009qccs4036.html

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