Jump to content

lost love named life

sunny1

By sunny1
in About My Outbreaks

 Share

Recommended Posts

sunny1 Honeycomb Member

sunny1

Posted
Posted

to no one and / or someone:

i haven't had time to get tested properly,i did go the walk-in clinic twice over the past 2 months and i feel like i'm being treated like someone who just wants attention...they don't seem to belive me when i say that it hurts and burns...and when i did go the blisters had not yet surfaced so i was sent home with cortisone cream or diaper rash cream ...made to feel like i was unjustifiably stressing the health care system ...

now i have blisters to show but just can't make it there...mainly because i'm mentally drained and i don't think i can go and sit at the clinic for 2 hours...so i'll suffer in silence for a little while yet...the pain is agonizing...

mainly, i feel like crying all the time...i'm really up tight...i don't want to see friends because i'm scared i'll hug them and give them what ever i have...

i can't contact the guy who "i think" gave it to me because i know he would blame me...i had not been sexually active for about 2 years prior to hooking up with someone i dated 15 years ago...we had unprotected sex and 2 weeks later i developped a pimple...which is now the site of my blisters...

when i mentioned it to him he told me that what ever it was, i didn't get it from him and i haven't heard from him since...which is fine except that he might be running around infecting people ... i guess when i know for sure i will clear my conscience and leave him a voice mail.

anyway...i'm pretty sure that no one will read this so i might as well just let it out for my own sake...

the thought of the disease is worse than the pain ...and it's really kicking my __ __ __ right now...

i had a dream the other night that i was literally sprinting to the pharmacy to get really strong pain killers that would put me to sleep permanently...that scares me...because i have no family i can talk to...i'm pretty much a loner ...and no one knows how i'm feeling...

i work about 12-15 hours per day...which doesn't help...i'm kind of thinking...what's the point of getting up each day?

imagine..someone educated, not half bad looking, who is a talented artist, interested in philanthropic ventures around the world....with a good job...security...who loves jazz and fine art...fine food...really cares...good at anything she does really...who just doesn't see the point in living anymore...that's really pathetic...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BoxofRain Acknowledged Support Member

BoxofRain

Posted
Posted

not pathetic, very sad....because I too feel this way and have since getting this. You are not alone and feel free to private message me anytime....i am here for you...we both could use each others support, so if you want to send me a message and tell me a little more about how you're feeling or even to just talk about anything you feel like talking about.... I am always here. Hope to hear from you sometime....and I wish better days for you very soon :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JRTJRT Established Member

JRTJRT

Posted
Posted

Hi sunny1

I am going through much of the same. The physical part is bad but the mental part is the worst part. Not being able to talk openly about it doesn't help.

The good news is that you can learn about the virus and how to mentally cope with having it. You can change your thoughts to minimize the damage HSV does. I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm partly saying this to myself as I type cuz I'm having a very hard time with HSV too. Some people aren't bothered by HSV, most don't even know they have it. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

I too had a dream about HSV, last night. Sounds like a good topic for another thread...

Most of all, you aren't alone. Most people have HSV. Odds are you will have gotten HSV at some point before you die of old age.

Send me a note if you want to. Lots of good people here... proof that life is worth living, even with a virus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hopingseeking Established Member

hopingseeking

Posted
Posted

I know what you mean about the educated... cultured... aspects our lives feeling SO at odds with this disease... It feels so... contradictory. I'm sorry..

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ms.Informed Honeycomb Member

Ms.Informed

Posted
Posted

Hi, Sunny1,

Sounds like you're hurting. Sorry to hear your pain. I hope you don't feel defeated just yet cause seems to me anybody that's as gifted as you has had the capacity to enjoy life on alot of different levels. Chances are, you've brought alot of joy to other people too...

I want to remind you that if you have blisters or sores now you would do well to muster up any reserves needed to go back to the dr. cause now is when they could probably take a swab and maybe give you something to aid in your physical comfort. Your health is way more important than anyone's judgement call. Besides, could be they're not judging you they just had a bad day or bad news or...

So please continue posting cause apparently we're reading your posts and we care. Ms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
sunny1 Honeycomb Member

sunny1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

hope - vision - support

you are all really great people to have taken time out of your personal lives to answer my call for support...and it worked.

today i feel like i'm not going to go down without a fight...in fact, i have decided that i'm not going to let this MF get me down on my knees... the MF is in for a mega war effort on all fronts...

so thank you all for giving me vision, hope and caring support...

today i am attacking that MF head on... i know there will be really hard some days and i will keep in touch, there is no one i can talk to besides this board...

today i am researching how diet affects HVS and outbreaks, i found this interesting article:

Popcorn has a high argine to lysine ratio, but those prone to herpes can still enjoy it. After popping, sprinkle with Nutritional Yeast (from the health store). This adds a cheesy flavor to the popcorn. The arginine is neutralized because one tablespoon of nutritional yeast contains 190 mg. more lysine than arginine.

Now, i was worried because i eat a lot of grains, all the things on the "bad" food list, but here i'm thinking that adding a considerable portion of Nutritional yeast to every meal might work well, especially when eating whole grains since the above suggests that arginine can be "neutralized"... Angevita yeast is particularly tasty, and high in vit. B.

...god i hope this newly found strength in my heart sticks around...

if anyone knows of a more varied (kamut, rye, flax) Lysine / Arginine food chart, please let me know...most of the foods i eat are not on the one provided on this website..

well, take care now...and talk soon i hope icon11.gif

Sunny1

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

Posted
Posted

hey sunny since you're looking at triggers etc. I thought I'd mention that I also decided I'd beat this one with nutrition and eliminated every trigger food I could find on every list and what I found is that some definitely bother me and thankfully others don't. If I know I'm going to enjoy one on the list that I am more sensitive to I supplement with the L-lysine and so far it is beginning to work.

My bad ones are corn and tree nuts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
sunny1 Honeycomb Member

sunny1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

trial and error

makes sense...we're all different...i thought i would illiminate jsut about everything i can think of then introduce those i am most fond of 1 at a time to see if anything happens...right now i just want the nightmare to end so i'm trying anything and everything...but if and when the OB gets under control, i might try and re-introduce some foods...thanks...icon11.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
gutted. Established Member

gutted.

Posted
Posted

Food or drink dont seem to trigger me OB, to get them when im stressing out over something, the football results (soccer to you lot) a bad day at work or sumit along those lines

so now, i dont let stuff stress me out that i cant control, its not my fault my boss is in a foul mood, not my fault Nathan tyson (football striker) cant hit a barn door, etc etc

to be honest, i burn the candle at both ends, i drink heavily, party heavily, dont get enough sleep and smoke!!

none of the above gives me an outbreak

now i have a shit day at work, boss is screaming at me, cus hes in a foul mood and wants to shout, next day, up pops a pimple !!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
sunny1 Honeycomb Member

sunny1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

doctor's note!

hey! maybe i should get a doctor's note clarifying that i am HSV positive and that stress greatly aggravates my condition...

then, i could ask administration to provide me with stress-free environment...you know, some people i work with get migraines and the union forced the employer to install different light bulbs in the office...some people have to have chalk boards removed from classroom because of dust allergies...

i say: i'm just as important and i deserve to work in an environment that fosters good health!

the board could start with lowering my class size... i like it!

icon11.gif

sunny1

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72k
    • Total Posts
      485.5k

  • Posts

    • tbc122
      Is this a herpes blister on my eyelid? I think I transmitted hsv1 from my genitals to my eyelid

      By tbc122 · Posted

      https://imgur.com/a/cVi8yJY 2 weeks ago I had unprotected oral sex. Few days later I wake up with a stinging sensation in my urethra. I don't have any blisters, lesions or redness, my penis looks completely normal from the outside, but the stinging in my urethra is always there. Urinating doesn't make the pain worse. From the research I've done and how my body feels I'm pretty sure I caught genital hsv1. To make matters worse I think I transmitted it to my eyelid by touching my infected penis and then my eyelid which did develop a blister. Can anyone look at my lower eyelid and tell me if it looks anything like herpes?  I forgot to add that the blister is painless, but my eye is a bit watery. Other than that it's fine and my eyesight is good. Considering how this all developed in a matter of a week after I had unprotected sex it can't be much else than herpes..
    • SuperSnap
      No more outbreaks for me since started taking these.

      By SuperSnap · Posted

      Hey I see that they also sell the pill form in 100 mg and 500 mg form. Do you think this is as affective? They have the regular and extract version of the pill. Which would you think is the right one to get? And how many pills per day to get the same effect of say 16 seeds?
    • Ric12321
      Tiny bump at penis tip

      By Ric12321 · Posted

      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      How accurate is a blood test for herpes

      By scurrred · Posted

      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept