Newly diagnosed, scared, upset and have some questions

[xanthia]

i won't go into how awful this all feels because from what i've read here in these forums, everyone here knows those feelings.

My story...

About a month ago I met and started dating a man whom I clicked with immediately. We had sex very soon and quickly had unprotected sex...(stupid and i learned my lesson the hard way).

Last Sunday I woke up next to him feeling a bit nauseous which is odd for me then in the subsequent days had all the text book signs of an HSV2 outbreak. Hig fever, swollen lymph nodes, sores (front and back), headaches...the whole 9 yards. I am still recovering, but it is getting better on the Activir and with the lysine I've been taking.

I told the guy i was seeing yesterday what was going on with me. I had wanted to wait to see him in person but I wasn't afforded that luxury and told him on the phone. His response was that he had no idea. Now, I know there are alot of asymptomatic people that have this disease. My question is can you have asymptomatic outbreaks? Or do asymptomatic people never have outbreaks at all and the can pass the disease on only when shedding? I was a little confused on this. He had no visible signs that i noticed on him, but there was a week that his exzema was flaring up because he was so stressed, so I was wondering if this is a possible type of outbreak or indicitive of when he may have been having an outbreak even though I didn't notice anything on his genitals.

If he takes a blood test will it show up? i assume that if he gave it to me it would be active in his system and show up...but then i hear people can test negative for it and still carry it...

He didn;t seem too shocked when i told him but then i figured he might need time to process the information.

Sorry for all the questions, I, like most newly diagnosed people feel so lost and alone...even though i have very supportive friends...they don't truly know what i'm going through.

So thank you in advance....

[Caliope]

it's sad to hear that you've been infected with hsv too.

we've posted a lot on assymptomatic shedding. It is when hsv is contagious with no outward visible symptoms.

Your bf should get a herpes specific blood test done. If he's had it for a while it will show positive for hsv antibodies. The fact that he is unsurprised makes me think he's discussed hsv before and may have suspected he's been exposed but that's me theorizing.

Being fairly new to my diagnosis I'll say that reading posts on this forum have been very informative for me. Take your time and read our posts or read the medical type information provided on the links. Someone somewhere has asked many of the questions you want answers to and someone else has answered. Everyone's experience is different and this is particularly helpful because what works for one person doesn't always work for everyone.

[BoxofRain]

yes, having him take a herpes type specific blood test will tell you if he has it. He could have never known he had it, or perhaps he did know or had an idea but didnt say anything. It is hard to think of, but there is also a chance you have had this for a while without any recognizable symptoms and never knew it and just now are getting a bad outbreak, in which case, you most likely could have given it to him. Its such a difficult thing to figure out most times. Also, there is a slight chance he has recently been infected (by someone else) and in that case, his antibodies may not show up yet, giving him a negative test result...but still making it possible to have given it to you...crazy huh? (However, if he has not had any sexual contact in the last 5-6 months with anyone else this scenario would not apply) It sucks but the only thing you will know for certain is if he tests negative... then he either does not have the virus at all, or has not had it long(in which case a second test 2-3 months later should be done on him to see if he has in fact contracted it recently (from you or someone else) and if thats the case the results should be positive by the second test) Hope things get better for you.