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Don't know how to deal with this...

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I'm 18, and was diagnosed a few months ago.. I was with my ex for 2 years who gave me this "gift", finding out he cheated on me after I told him about these painful bumps down there. My first outbreak was on my 18th birthday, didn't even get to celebrate it because I had trouble walking from the pain and had a fever. I don't take meds for it because when I get outbreaks it really isn't that bad.. I still cry every now and then on how my dating/sex life is gonna be and how I'm gonna have to have the "I have herpes talk" every time I start dating someone I really like.. And just thinking about it gives me no hope on finding love. How did you guys cope with this? How was your dating life right after you find out? help :/

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HI Sharmeeze,

I was diagnosed with HSV II about 9 years ago. I am now 32 and same case, I got it from my boyfriend who got it from his ex gf and didn't bother to tell me about it, nor did he used protection. I emphatize with you. I really do.When I heard about it, I also felt like it was the end of my life. I couldn't possibly tell my parents or my sister let alone my friends. So I kept quiet and told my new boyfriend over an internet chat. Now I'm married.

I think for me the trick was to find someone I can trust (including trust him enough not to tell the whole world that you've got herpes - be careful with those kind you'll never know) and open minded enough. If he likes you enough then he won't judge you too much about it. Although, it did cross my mind that if the whole world knows about it, it'll be easier for me because then men will be able to decide for themselves whether they want to get near me or not without me having to give them the 'herpes talk' as you put it.

Unfortunately, despite the many claims for cure I can't help you on those herbal stuff because I haven't tried any of them. All I know is Valtrex works great, but it's rather pricey. When you're having an outbreak, it helps to sit on a warm-hot bath though. Salt water helps for some people but for me it gives me yeast infection, which needless to say makes matters worse.

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    • Hallie
      Hey all! I’m new and my diagnosis is pending. I’ve done so much research that I have a new understanding and respect for people living with herpes. That being said it wasn’t like that alway, I had been a part of a stigma we all know very well up until my latest annual pap. So I went in and had my pap and just a routing std check. Two days later and my OB calls and says everything’s good on the pap and the bloood work came back but there’s an acute result for herpes. Although he states he doesn’t know which kind or where and to come back in 6 weeks. So me being the 22 yo uneducated student, freaks out. I am asymptomatic and at the time he advises to check around my mouth and lips for any cold sores. I had a minor canker sore like lesion on my gum above my tooth and that was it super minor discomfort. So I went into a care now and the doctor did a pcr swab of the cut and another igm and an igg. So it’s about 5 days waiting period and during that time I get sick, similar to pharyngitis ( it was so bad I went back, the doctor gave me  Valacyclovir in case it was an outbreak). So now I really am thinking ok this is most like HSV-1 being it’s possible but less likely to be HSV -2 And I have zero symptoms on my genitals unless it’s dormant. And then plot twist, I get all results back, second igm, viral swab, and igg and all negative! What is going on? 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sheikha and welcome to the website. Different tests around the world have different numbers as to what means positive.  Do you have details of what test was performed? Does the paperwork indicate what number means positive? For some tests it’s 1.1, others 11 and some more than 20!
    • Mikeike3
      What symptoms brought you to test in the first place 
    • Mikeike3
      Over 3.3 is a strong positive. You could repeat that test. I'd assume I had it. 
    • Kev003
      Lysine seemed to dry the blisters during outbreaks.  They would take about the same time to heal but there would be no/less fluid while using lysine.  At first it seemed like it was reducing the amount of outbreaks, but after a couple months they were coming just as often as before - if not more often.  
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