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In so much pain...

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Hi everyone,

It started this past Saturday... I noticed a little vaginal soreness that I attributed to some rough sex a couple nights before. It was way worse on Sunday and I finally took a closer look... I almost passed out when I saw what was going on down there.

I made it to Planned Parenthood on Monday (tried to get an appt with my university women's health clinic but they couldn't get me in until Weds and I didn't think I could wait that long -- I was freaking out!) Doctor at PP took samples and told me that it looked like genital herpes... though the test won't come back for a couple days. She said that she suspected it might be HSV-1 (due to oral sex) because the sores were not as tender to the touch as they normally are. However, I have been told I have a rather high pain tolerance, and I wonder if she'd say the same now...

You guys, I am in SOOO much pain. I called in sick from work today and have made it from my bed to the couch and only up a few times for (excruciating) trips to the bathroom. The sores are freaking all over down there... it looks like a war zone. Does anyone have any advice on how to make the pain a little bit more bearable? My semester starts up tomorrow and I don't even know how I'm going to get to class (normally I ride my bike but you can imagine how impossible that is right now...)

Of course I have been in crying spells on and off for the past 2 days since the reality has come crashing down on me. I am so confused... I use condoms, I have been with the same sexual partner (friends w/ benefits situation) for 8+ months. Everything I read online confuses me more. Could I have contracted this years ago and am just only having my first outbreak for some reason? How the hell am I going to tell my FWB?

Bottom line, though: I wish that this didn't hurt so bad. If I could live even 1/4 of a normal existence right now, it would make it so much better. Instead, I am just sitting here is nauseating pain, waiting.


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non stop guy

sorry your hurting.you could have gotten it from your fwb even with condoms.it happens.good luck

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I was in a very similar boat just a couple of days ago and I'm telling you, the pain will get better. I was in the most excruciating pain of my life for several days. It started on Thursday, I was swabbed on Friday, and started taking Valtrex Friday night. I spent the weekend on my couch and literally cried every time I had to walk my dog or go to the bathroom (and like you, I have a very high tolerance for pain). I finally started feeling better yesterday and by today almost all the pain is gone (although things are still not normal down there). My doctor also prescribed me pain meds which helped tremendously. If you aren't already on Valtrex and pain meds then I would do so right away!

As for your FWB, my guess is that he's most likely had cold sores in my mouth before and never thought anything of it. That's what happened in my case. The guy I'm dating gets them on his lips and didn't realize that he could pass it on "down there" or that it was possible to pass them on when he didn't have an outbreak. It seems that he was "shedding," giving off the virus through his skin when there were no symptoms, and shared it with me. He actually developed a cold sore about a week later and shedding often takes place in the days leading up to an outbreak.

It's a crappy situation we're in here! Hopefully this helps a bit.

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I felt the same way. I cried for days, it was all I could do to get through my work day & get home to collapse. I felt like I had the flu, my body ached, and the pain was horrific. My doctor did make me feel a little bit better about myself. She said 1 in 3 people have it and that women are harder on ourselves. She said not to beat myself up over it and that there is someone out there for me that will love me either way. So, I try to think of everything she said to me when I feel down on myself. Try and do the same. Your FWB should be understanding since he knows that sleeping with someone that you are not in a serious relationship comes with chances. I had one of those-FWB and now I have decided to not have sex with anyone for quite awhile. I am going to focus on myself and getting healthier. Good luck & keep your head up :)

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I am new here also. I never experienced the pain I am reading about. Had one small sore every 3 or 4 months for a year or so. It never broke open or scabbed. I was sure it was a pimple. After my dianosis or during it (I guess) i had a much more painful spot and it did scab. No idea how long I have had herpes or who I got it from. Happily married and faithful for 8 years. Even had a baby and no signs of it. On Valtrex 1 a day since my diagnosis last January. I think physically I am very lucky that it has not been that bad but emotionally I am a mess . It's on my mind constantly and I find myself checking if I am sore or wondering if an outbreak is happening at every tingle. So afraid my husband will get it.

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Hi everyone - thank you all so much for your comforting words. I finally got the call today -- I have HSV-1. I didn't know what to expect, but I was actually hugely relieved that it's not HSV-2!!

I am going to go in on Monday and get a blood test to confirm that I have no antibodies and have just contracted this recently, but I am stressing out about telling my FWB. I have been avoiding him all week and I can't do that for much longer.

I am thinking of starting off by asking him straight up if he's ever had cold sores. It's confusing because I have known the guy for 2 years and have been intimate with him for upwards of 8 months and have never noticed that about him, but I guess that mysterious "asymptomatic shedding" we hear about could be to blame.

Oy vey. I feel somewhat of a relief and the pain is finally beginning to subside, so I am seeing a little bit of light for the first time in days. But what a shitty, shitty time this has been.

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Hey anonz, get some Epsom salts for your bath waters. Also bactine spray for that area is wonderful, it has a numbing agent in it. It also helps warm water in a spray bottle when you pee or just pee in the shower use the shower head to aim the warm water at the vag area. Get some Desitin in the purple tube, it contains 40% Zinc oxide. These are just a few tips to help you get through this outbreak. One of my favorite things for pain is ibuprofin. Hope this help, and Welcome to our site :) . Take care, Ace :hithere:

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Hey Anonz! I wanted to check in and see if you were feeling any better. Did you have a chance to tell the guy? How did that guy? My situation was very similar. I was just diagnosed last week and have only been dating this guy for a little over a month. More than anything, I was stressed out about having to tell him. At the time, it was actually causing me a lot more distress than even the thought of how I was going to live with this. "The talk" went a lot better than I anticipated, probably because when we had it he had just gotten a cold sore on his mouth. He has been really supportive and understanding about the whole thing and it breaks my heart to think about what he must be going through knowing he passed this along to me. Unfortunately there just isn't a lot of information out there and doctors don't make it a priority to inform people about this virus. I hope your guy is understanding and supportive as well.

You're right, this is a shitty time! It's gotten easier over the last week but I still have my moments where I break down thinking about what my life could be like moving forward. Hopefully this will just be another bump in the road for us and we will be able to move on.

Good luck!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • Artfulsoul
      Thanks for your story.  It seems similar to mine. Fortunately for you it seems your boyfriend is willing to pursue some kind of understanding. Since I wrote about what happened to me, my boyfriend broke up with me. The ironic thing is he told me this happened to him about 15 years ago with another woman. He said it was very traumatic for him and felt like the same thing once again. So it seems he had been exposed before and could very possibly have already been carrying the virus. Perhaps he knew and didn't tell me. I am really not sure but the relationship is over for now since he won't discuss it with me. So much fear information and confusion out there about the virus. I don't think they really understand how it happens so they tell everyone to be careful. Even having the virus it has been such a non-issue in my life until now that it appears there is so much stigma around it. It seems more like it is the Pharmaceutical companies wanting to make money off a common virus that affects so many on such a deep level, receiving love and physical contact.  Feels like a big scam to me.  The information was so different when there were no drugs to reduce or suppress the virus. It is all very confusing to me.
    • doh!
      I don't have hsv1 (2 instead) but yes, it is posssible to have an ob without the usual syptoms- or to miss more subtle signals. in my exprience said ob is mild (ie not painful).
    • lonelysoul
      Private message me please.
    • raka
      I contacted one of the ayurveda doctor in india he is saying there is 60% chances of cure through ayurveda for herpes Details: Please see the treatment details mentioned below
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    • Lilhurp
      Also I’ve had them heal and come back almost immediately. Waiting for culture test results. These are the only symptoms I’ve experienced 

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