Jump to content

How To Cope

blueyes70

By blueyes70
in Just signed up? Say hello here!

 Share

Recommended Posts

blueyes70 Honeycomb Member

blueyes70

Posted
Posted

I would like to say Hi to everyone here. I have found out that I have HSV-2. It was from a guy who I was dating. When I had my first break out I didn't know what it was. Went to the dotors and she told me. I was a reck.I am still having a hard time dealing with it.

I feel like my life is on a stand still. When I ask him if he had it, he said he didn't know. Can someone out there really not know if they don't have herpes?? I find my self crying all the time and thinking that no one is going to want me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Caliope Platinum Support Member

Caliope

Posted
Posted

It is hard when you first learn about hsv. Quite traumatic actually. I am so sorry to hear your pain.

Sadly, yes we can have this for a long time and not know. Or we can go to the dr's and be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed. I've had this for many years but didn't know what it was until 3 months ago.

And yes you'll find love - someone will want you. Just today a member told the sweetest story of having to tell someone she had hsv and he didn't flip out at all. I just love those stories. It gives hope. Hope is what makes the world go around.

What happened to your guy? Did he go and get tested? Is he offering to be supportive to you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
gutted. Established Member

gutted.

Posted
Posted

when i found out i was devasted, i was in a relasonship at the time, but it didnt last much longer!

i found a new love tho, she donest carry HSV, but liked me enought to continue the relasonship, but ONLY

Link to comment
Share on other sites
gutted. Established Member

gutted.

Posted
Posted

because i was honest and told her about it prior to us getting in to the bedroom

last week she told me she loved me!!

trust, all is not lost, infact, intimacy means alot more now!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
blueyes70 Honeycomb Member

blueyes70

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Is there anyone out there when they had found out what they had that they were calm about it? When my x-boyfriend found out that he had it he act like it was no big deal. That makes me feel like he new he had it and didn't even tell me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dbc1951 Established Member

dbc1951

Posted
Posted
I would like to say Hi to everyone here. I have found out that I have HSV-2. It was from a guy who I was dating. When I had my first break out I didn't know what it was. Went to the dotors and she told me. I was a reck.I am still having a hard time dealing with it.

I feel like my life is on a stand still. When I ask him if he had it, he said he didn't know. Can someone out there really not know if they don't have herpes?? I find my self crying all the time and thinking that no one is going to want me...

This sort of thing is always a he said, she said situation. I contracted it from my wife, a Russian, and she has adamantly stated she was not responsible. Uh-huh. She later admitted privately that she had contracted "something" from her ex-husband.

I married the woman because, to be honest, nothing at all was happening with American women. Being a short guy, 5'3, definitely didn't help matters one bit. We wrote for over four years and I thought I knew her which shows just how wrong you can be. She landed June 15, 2000 and 57 days later I was diagnosed.

Betrayal is a very ugly thing. The initial infection on a male is pretty spectacular so its difficult to believe he knew nothing. While it is possible he has never suffered symptoms I don't think that is usually the case.

The problem you now face is that you have an obligation to tell someone you have it. Most people are unaware of the fact that most states consider not telling someone you have an std before intercourse to be assault. The problem is that it is difficult to prove.

I cannot tell you how it will be on the dating scene because everyone is totally different. I did FINALLY meet someone who was perfect and I felt she could handle it. She couldn't. HSV websites are of no help whatsoever because most people simple don't exhibit the common courtesy of telling you they're either involved or not interested---this includes men as well as women.

If all else fails, try to find someone you can simp0ly talk to when things get too heavy. That has definitely helped me deal with the fact that I'll be single from here on.

Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
blueyes70 Honeycomb Member

blueyes70

Posted
  • Author
Posted

How do I tell somone???????

Hi,

Me and my x-bf that I got it from are no longer togther. I'm not sure on how I go on dating... I know that if I meet someone I will have to tell that person. I really don't know how I should go about that. I feel like I just can't have a normale life any more.

My close friends that do know, tell me that I will find someone. I feel like that I wont.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
jenhof Honeycomb Member

jenhof

Posted
Posted

i told my (now) husband that i had it before we officially started dating. that helps a LOT, because if you wait until you're attached and feel like you can't live without that person, to tell them then and have them reject you will feel like the end of the world. it's not, but it'll feel like it.

you can have a normal life. sometimes i get overwhelmed and feel like my life sucks and all that, but, realistically speaking, i've got it pretty good. i have a husband who loves me and married me despite my having hsv AND hpv. he was hesitant about a few things, but when we talked about it further and talked to our doctor and researched together, he quickly realized that it wasn't about hsv or hpv or any of that. he decided that since he loved me and i loved him, it was enough. if he ended up with either of those things, that was part of being one with me.

there are still men out there who are loving and caring and who care more about you than about a virus. hang in there.... when you're not looking for it, it'll come to you.

good luck, honey!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72k
    • Total Posts
      485.5k

  • Posts

    • Ric12321
      Tiny bump at penis tip

      By Ric12321 · Posted

      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      How accurate is a blood test for herpes

      By scurrred · Posted

      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept