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Diagnosed Last Friday - Didn't know there was a LGBT area. :)


OneDayOfPeace

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Hello All - I'm new to the forum (started posting last week and didn't know there was a LGBT area) and looking to make friends and share support with other members. I was diagnosed last Friday and I wish I could say it was a shock but it wasn't. I'd been having outbreaks for a couple of months now and just wanted to deny this fact and reality until recently.

I'm gay (not that, that matters...but) and I contracted the Herpes virus from my husband. We've been together for 13yrs and married for 5 years. He wasn't always faithful which is how I was put into the situation I'm in. It's been a rough year and because of his indiscretions this is technically the 2nd thing I've picked up from him. Earlier this year I found out I had HPV (aka - genital warts) and had to have them removed this past August. So needless to say this has me frazzled a bit.

Again...what he did was a few years ago but I'm paying the price....twice now and both virus' will be with me forever. He, on the other hand, has had no outbreaks and is one of those lucky few where things have not come to the surface yet.

So right now I'm a mix of emotions....bitter, jaded, sad, ugly, angry...you name it. But...we have a family together (one child) and she is my pride and joy and the light of my life. I think she is what's keeping me as calm as I am during this whole thing. So right now I'm taking one day at a time and looking for my "One Day of Peace"...hence my profile name.

I finished up my first dose of Valtrex last weekend. Depending on how my body reacts to it and how it controls things my doctor will probably put me on it permanently at my next outbreak. She also advised that I seek support which is why I'm reaching out here.

Thanks to those who read this and help support. It's greatly appreciated and I look forward to making new friends. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi friend

I would be very surprised if you didn't have some kind of HPV. The truth is most sexually active population carries some form of it, then it just goes away. Occasionally people get warts, that have to be surgically removed, and that's it. You should consider the HPV vaccine, that will immunize you to some forms of HPV you may not have already, and this will be helpful to avoid complications in the future (things like cervical or anal cancer). ALL VIRUSES are with us forever - it's not just HPV and herpes. Being infected with those is part of being human.

In Europe, where I live, herpes is hardly something people worry about much, and you would not be put in "suppressive therapy" for life here, unless you were having really debilitating outbreaks - and even then, having to take Valtrex for life would look shocking for most doctors.

I wish you good luck with your family. It's not easy being cheated, but we can learn to forgive, and maybe your partner does indeed love you and is worth that effort. There are more serious things out there than HPV and herpes, like HIV, and your partner should know that this is quite prevalent among gay men and he's taking a serious risk by exposing himself to it - and taking the risk to infect you, who's done nothing to deserve it. He should be made aware of that. Good luck again!

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Thanks all for the warm welcome! Sorry for the delay I didn't get an email saying I had posts! LOL!!!! :)

And Vidhya thanks so much for your message. It means a lot. And thanks too for sharing your info. We've both been tested for everything thus far and all thats been positive is HSVII and HPV so I am lucky in that instance. Seems like I have a mild outbreak every 3-4 weeks but I take my valtrex and it clears it up. Hopefully the frequency will subside but I keep going and keep a positive attitude. I think my husband has finally woke up to all that he's exposed me too and finally realizes the damage he's caused and could continue to cause if he stayed on the wrong path. Only time will tell if anything happens again. All I know is...I won't be around after the next situation. I'm worth more than this and I have my daughter to think about. I'm her example in this life and what example am I proving by letting something like this happen over and over.

I've found a lot of strength here in this community as well in my circle of friends. 2013 is a year I'm rebuilding myself and so far I'm off to a great start with a lot of good things happening.

Again...thank you for reaching out! It means a lot. :)

John

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Hi OneDayOfPeace, welcome. :wavey: . Yes you have certainly found the best community ever! Here is a good read www.westoverheights.com , I have had ghsv2 for 25 years, I'm married to a non h man for 22. You can live what ever kind of life you choose. H has never stopped us from living or loving or having children. It's wonderful to see you found us. Take care, hope to meet you soon in Chat. Hugs, Ace :)

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Hello All - I'm new to the forum (started posting last week and didn't know there was a LGBT area) and looking to make friends and share support with other members. I was diagnosed last Friday and I wish I could say it was a shock but it wasn't. I'd been having outbreaks for a couple of months now and just wanted to deny this fact and reality until recently.

I'm gay (not that, that matters...but) and I contracted the Herpes virus from my husband. We've been together for 13yrs and married for 5 years. He wasn't always faithful which is how I was put into the situation I'm in. It's been a rough year and because of his indiscretions this is technically the 2nd thing I've picked up from him. Earlier this year I found out I had HPV (aka - genital warts) and had to have them removed this past August. So needless to say this has me frazzled a bit.

Again...what he did was a few years ago but I'm paying the price....twice now and both virus' will be with me forever. He, on the other hand, has had no outbreaks and is one of those lucky few where things have not come to the surface yet.

So right now I'm a mix of emotions....bitter, jaded, sad, ugly, angry...you name it. But...we have a family together (one child) and she is my pride and joy and the light of my life. I think she is what's keeping me as calm as I am during this whole thing. So right now I'm taking one day at a time and looking for my "One Day of Peace"...hence my profile name.

I finished up my first dose of Valtrex last weekend. Depending on how my body reacts to it and how it controls things my doctor will probably put me on it permanently at my next outbreak. She also advised that I seek support which is why I'm reaching out here.

Thanks to those who read this and help support. It's greatly appreciated and I look forward to making new friends. :)

Welcome to HCSN. I think it's great that we have an LGBT forum too, as well as forums for different faiths and ages. It's very compassionate. Seems like you are doing a very good job with keeping yourself calm and positive, as you deal with those other feelings, lol.

I am sorry for all of your trouble. I too greatly appreciate peace, and the lack of aches and pains whenever I experience it.

You have a nice avatar. Take care, and see you around.

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Thanks so much Createss!!!! I'm so happy there is a network to communicate with and share stories. :)

And I love my avatar too! The Peace Dove symbolizes so much in my life and has a lot to do with my faith and knowing that in every struggle peace will come.

I've gone through A LOT in my life and still remain positive thinking and I try not to let things get the best of me. I'm more than that and will not let things like this defeat me!

Have a great night!!!!

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Createss Galore
Thanks so much Createss!!!! I'm so happy there is a network to communicate with and share stories. :)

And I love my avatar too! The Peace Dove symbolizes so much in my life and has a lot to do with my faith and knowing that in every struggle peace will come.

I've gone through A LOT in my life and still remain positive thinking and I try not to let things get the best of me. I'm more than that and will not let things like this defeat me!

Have a great night!!!!

Yes I do know about going through a lot in life. Real strength starts from within, and it certainly has to be built up continuously. When we're all alone we strengthen ourselves, and then good people help too.

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  • 6 months later...
Hello All - I'm new to the forum (started posting last week and didn't know there was a LGBT area) and looking to make friends and share support with other members. I was diagnosed last Friday and I wish I could say it was a shock but it wasn't. I'd been having outbreaks for a couple of months now and just wanted to deny this fact and reality until recently.

I'm gay (not that, that matters...but) and I contracted the Herpes virus from my husband. We've been together for 13yrs and married for 5 years. He wasn't always faithful which is how I was put into the situation I'm in. It's been a rough year and because of his indiscretions this is technically the 2nd thing I've picked up from him. Earlier this year I found out I had HPV (aka - genital warts) and had to have them removed this past August. So needless to say this has me frazzled a bit.

Again...what he did was a few years ago but I'm paying the price....twice now and both virus' will be with me forever. He, on the other hand, has had no outbreaks and is one of those lucky few where things have not come to the surface yet.

So right now I'm a mix of emotions....bitter, jaded, sad, ugly, angry...you name it. But...we have a family together (one child) and she is my pride and joy and the light of my life. I think she is what's keeping me as calm as I am during this whole thing. So right now I'm taking one day at a time and looking for my "One Day of Peace"...hence my profile name.

I finished up my first dose of Valtrex last weekend. Depending on how my body reacts to it and how it controls things my doctor will probably put me on it permanently at my next outbreak. She also advised that I seek support which is why I'm reaching out here.

Thanks to those who read this and help support. It's greatly appreciated and I look forward to making new friends. :)

Hey :)

I only found this site yesterday after being diagnosed literally 3 days ago . . .and even better - just realised there was an LGBT section.!

I'm gay and have caught HSV1 (oral and genital) from my partner who basically has cold sores - albeit relatively rare outbreaks. We both thought the last outbreak was cleared up . . . how wrong we were.

To be honest I'm pretty pragmatic about it all . . . .I've researched soooooo much since knowing exactly what I've got and a realise now that I can live with HSV and manage the condition.

The only thing (as I mentioned in my post in the "Just diagnosed" section) is the pain factor.

Never experienced pain like this in my mouth before . . . . .and down below?!!!!! Boy oh boy!

BUT....I'm focussed on getting well and strong again and thankfully have the full support of my partner in this.

I guess your situation is very difficult......you're no longer with the person who gave it to you and now have to navigate your life and future relationships knowing you have it. I can imagine how hard this must be - and can't ever be sure I won't one day be in the same boat.

From what I've read the first outbreak is the absolute worst....you may actually never get another one - or if you do you will recognise the signs and be able to limit it with treatment.

There's no getting away from it - it is an invasion of your body . . . but it sounds as if your daughter is a huge source of strength and you can build upon that, and the fact the you are clearly a wonderful person, to help you win this personal battle you now face.

I wish you all the very best......and altho I'm a total newbie here - feel free to get in touch if you need anything xxx

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