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feeling particularly shitty tonight

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I was diagnosed with genital hsv-1 in November. I was sleeping with this guy who I wasn't too into, but he really liked me and I figured we could just mess around and keep it casual. Ended up ending things with him, he slept with some other chick and then I, like an idiot, slept with him again and he passed this on to me (we think it came from the girl that went down on him). Since being diagnosed I've pretty much come to terms with it but I'm just frustrated tonight.

I'm barely 20 years old and I just feel like I've lost a great deal of freedom. I don't sleep around, I just hate that I have to relinquish the freedom of flings and meeting new people and seeing where things go, because this will always be in the back of my mind. I have all the facts-- I get it. I know HSV-1 is the lesser of two evils, I've read every possible piece of information on it. I know I should be grateful. I'm upset because the doctor who diagnosed me brushed it off like it was no big deal and told me that I don't need to tell anyone about this, but I know that others feel strongly about disclosure which I understand. And since I'm young and my potential partners will be young, I feel like I'm going to have to settle. I feel like once someone I'm seeing finds out about this, they'll just move on to the next one since we're not looking to settle down at our age. I feel tainted, like my desirability is gone. Just having a bad night. Most days I can shake it off and snap myself out of the funk.

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im the exact same way tonight i know exactly how you feel... its been like this for a few days actually. it sucks and i hear the same things about disclosure and others are so adamant about it. im only 23 myself and it sucks having it in the back of your mind. it sucks because i feel the same way about them not being accepting when in reality theres like a 70 percent chance that the next person they hu with has the same thing i do, and if they have it orally theyre actually more of a threat. ive read all the info possible too i just feel like the statistics though they help me realize its not that bad wont be enough to convince someone. im terrified of telling someone and never had to worry about it myself as i dated the guy who gave it to me for three years

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