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lou2

Herpes and Depression

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lou2

Hi

I have just had my first ob and just waiting on the results to confirm what me and the doc know is obvious (tingling, red spots/blisters, itchiness, soreness and swollen glands) and feel terrible about it.

I'm have the same reactions as other people who have posted on the site, shame, feeling dirty, crying, angry, scared, alone...

In the past two years I suffered from severe depression and anxiety. It was a terrible time, where I often felt suicidal. I received cbt and I'm on meds and over the past six months I've really been building my life back. Over the past two months in particular I have felt great, I've changed career path, back at college getting high exam results, eating healthily and started concentrating on my fitness again. Part of me getting better was after four years of being single, starting to date again...and then bam! Herpes comes along. (Why is it I keep getting the stigma attached illnesses!) My worst fear is that it's triggering the depression again. I've read all there is to know about herpes and trying to put it in perspective but I'm so scared of having a relapse again. I haven't been able to go out today, in fact it's 5pm here and I've just got up. I'm practising aviodance (deleted my fb account, and dating account, I'm avoiding the phone) I haven't eaten, showered, I couldn't move properly, angry, irritated..all signs of depression.

Help, has anyone else been in this situation. I really can't go back there.....:(

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EnglishGirl

Hey Lou2

I was a bit similar to you, was in a violent abusive relationship, had a baby with him stayed because he was mentally unwell & thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I finally plucked up the courage to leave him in 2009. He harrassed me for 2 years, I remained celibate, was lonely & depressed. Met someone in 2010, typical bad boy, good looking, nicely presented but definitely not the type of man you take home to your parents. Anyway, after 18 months of on & off communication with this guy & 18 months of lonliness being harrassed by my ex partner I finally met up with this guy because he kept blowing hot & cold over the duration of time & in the beginning of 2012 BAM I get herpes the first time I slept with him! He fucked off & left me to deal with it, I had just started college & planning my future being a single parent trying to provide for my daughter & I went straight back to depression and loneliness :-(

Just so you know you're not alone, I'm suffering too, and so are a lot of other people here. I can give you the cliche words of wisdom & tell you everything will be okay but I know you'll find that hard to believe at the moment. I'm getting better but still coming to terms with it.

I'd you want to talk feel free to message me, take care x

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deweygoo

I f e e l y o u r p a in just know that this too shall

pass. I too suffer from intense depressive episodes

as you ve described. Remember, you are

not alone. And herpes is manageable. Love yr

body and take care of it, you are not a disease.

You are a loveable human being who is living with a very very manageable disease. The way you fight the herpes is by taking good care of yrself and your immune system. There is life beyond the bed couch tv etc. Know that and smile it boosts yr immune system!!!

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evolving

I can really relate to the herpes + depression equation. I've had HSV outbreaks 1 - 2 X yearly for the past 10 years. The thing that helps most is to look at it in the same way I look at any other illness that comes along, like the flu or a bad cold. It's about perspective: they're all viruses after all. I just resign myself to being largely out of commission for a few weeks. I have facial HSV, so it's more difficult to hide it from the general public. But if I need to run errands, a flu mask, a scarf, even a new beard seem to help disguise the condition from the curiosity of strangers. Regardless, I find that most people in public could care less.

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chickentuna

hey there lou. we have spoken before in chat how are you.. i too have been dealing with depression/anxieties for over 10 years... on and off.. my H diagnosis has also caused my dep/anx to reoccur 3 years ago almost instantly. i think these feelings are very typical for people because of the stigma, just the feeling of having been told you have an std, and things of that nature. herpes, or any std i think can trigger those sad feelings. hope you get better soon, you mentioned you had sought cbt, i would keep doing so if you arent still... and try to force yourself to keep on moving. herpes can be so much of just a mental thing more than physical. and i dont want to see you back into a depression because of these typical feelings. feel better!

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Sunshine01

Hey Lou - I can really relate to you. I have been dealing with depression/anxiety for 10 years. I was finally in a good place after some therapy and medication. I was just diagnoses with herpes this week and I feel like both my depression and anxiety have come back in full force. I'm having a hard time using the CBT tools I've learned and other coping strategies. Knowing this won't ever go away and is life long is really causing me to be stuck in depression. I am not married or have had children yet and all I keep thinking of now is how no one will ever want me now and feel defected. I don't want to stay thinking this way and have been trying to fight it but it's so hard. Especially having a boyfriend who hasn't been very supportive and it's making me questions leaving the r'ship. You are not alone and I hope that you are able to find your way out of feeling this bad.

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