Great Read Need Advice

[?????]

OK Here it is, Its heavy. I just moved in with a female friend from College in March. I was sleeping while she went to work and her alarm in her room was blaring loud. I went in her room to turn it off when i saw a prescription bottle next to her night stand. I looked at the bottle it had her name on it and the drug she was using is acyclovir which treats herpes genital and I guess all the above of the disease(call it snooping if you like I dont care, it is what it is). After seeing this i was like damn. I could have and probably would have tried to hit that, if I did not find out (becasuse she showed signs of flirting but I put it off because the roomate situation i dont want to see her every day if we were intimate). Later on in the month Im talking to some of the neighbors, you know just politicing(talking) when I told some of the men in the complex that she was not my girl they began telling me how many guys she had coming to her apt. And they said it was a lot of guys coming through. OK nothing to do with me as long as i dont join in. Earlier this week I found out that she was making jokes with some guy that she goes out with about my resume that I gave him and he went back and shared it with her. Of course that pissed me off extremly to the point of no return because how are you supposed to help if you are making jokes especially if I did not ask you to help. I know who really cares about that but I feel disrespected and respect and loyalty are HUGE on my list. My question is do I say something to her about her lifestyle, Messing with these all these guys especially when her status is up in the air is risky. I dont want innocent dudes getting caught in this. Plus I 99 percent sure she is not telling these guys. Me personnally if i was dealing with a female taking these pills I would want to Know. I went to this forum for help because you know more about the situation than I do. I mad as hell about the Resume thing but I am not going to die over it. She is probably going through alot anyway so why get on her when Im insecure over not having a job I guess. It is what it is. I should just keep my mouth closed and enjoy the low rent!!! What is your opinion?

[BoxofRain]

its really none of your business in my opinion. Who she has coming to her room should be none of your concern...and furthermore, you do not know if she is even having any sexual contact with all, or any of these guys she is supposedly having come over. Also, acyclovir is not only for genital herpes, it is for oral herpes as well. If she is having guys over, and being intimate with any of them....how can you be so sure they dont know her status? There are just too many assumptions for me in your gripe about her. I feel like she has enough to worry about I am sure and you do not know what even goes on with anyone she has over....unless you are there or happen to know any of these people. Also, think about it this way...if this was you, would you like someone to be interfering? She is a big girl and can take care of herself and her decisions are her decisions and the people she is involved with...not yours. I understand your concern but it really isnt your place and until you know differently I would give her a little more credit than you seem to be giving her ya know? Also, I would hope you would think long and hard before disclosing such personal information about her to any one else because it is not her fault she happened to be unlucky and get herpes....she has a right to not disclose that to people ( as long as she isnt doing anything intimate with them that could pose a risk) and just because she has some form of herpes, does not mean she shouldn't be allowed to hang out with guys, have them as friends, flirt, etc.... she is still who she is regardless of herpes and should not be judged by someone else about what she should and should not be doing within HER own life. Id just leave it alone if I were you

[hopingseeking]

It's not your place to call her out on it to others, but you can have a discussion with her, and how you feel about it. But of course, she is your roommate, so it could make things really awkward afterwards.

[jenhof]

i wouldn't so much confront her about the whole guys coming over thing. that's her business, her life, unless it gets in your way, as in they're disruptive or something. then you would want to say something, if they're bothering you or getting into your stuff, invading your privacy, etc. i understand that you weren't intentionally snooping when you went into her room, you just got curious. i also understand your being upset about the resume thing. that would really piss me off too. i hate people talking about me behind my back, joking about me and stuff, especially with things that are supposed to be kept confidential. the person in question was NOT being professional at ALL, and you should probably call them on that one, because they're screwing with other peoples' stuff, things that people are trusting them to keep confidential. that's even a legal matter when it comes down to it! i'm not saying to get up their faces or anything, just tell them calmly that what they did was morally wrong, unprofessional, and that you would appreciate them being more sensitive about things like that in the future, as they could get their company in a LOT of legal trouble if it was someone else they were dealing with.

anyway, that's my humble advice. not really much, but hope it helps!