Do I HAVE to tell her that I have it?

[lubrcate]

Is it my responsibility that I tell my partner I have Genital HSV1?

I'm not 100% sure I have it, I notice symptoms, but they are not obvious (i.e. fluid filled blisters). In my first outbreak, symptoms were characterized by reddish swelling with bumps, but they were not fluid filled. Now, if I get an "O.B.", it is a general reddish rash, mild swelling, usually amplified from scratching due to itchiness. I have a feeling it's HSV1 because I got my first outbreak a week after a major outbreak in the mouth area. I think I scratched myself and got it via "auto-innoculation"

Should I tell my partner I may have genital HSV1? I mean, it's hardly noticeable, it's the cold sore type. Do people tell other people before they kiss that they have cold sore herpes in the mouth? We will use condoms, and it is very rare to pass HSV1 genital to genital is it not?? I've read forums that even some virgins got genital herpes! It is very hard to get it diagnosed because my outbreak, if any, is so infrequent and shortlived that I often do not have sufficient time to make a timely doctor's appointment to get it checked out in time. Prodromal symptoms are mild, I just notice common itchiness, and I don't get any tingling sensation like I do with oral herpes outbreaks.

I know it sounds bad, but I wish everyone would get this disease so that we would not become minorities, but majorities! I don't want to miss out on the joy of sex just because I may be a possible carrier.

[gutted.]

you MUST tell her.

just becuase its mild in you doesnt mean it would be mild for anyone else... its down to the immune system...

we didnt get a choice, this was givin to us with us not knowing, dont force it onto sumone else, give them the choice we didnt get.

u dont have to miss out on anything, but be mature about it, your needs for sex dont outweight sumones needs for choic and as to weather they want to risk cathing it...

dont take this the wrong way, but its people who think like your thinking who are the main culprits for us lot in this situation.

dont be so selfish.

i can see how sad and depressed u are, so why make sumone else feel the same way?

[dbc1951]

Is it my responsibility that I tell my partner I have Genital HSV1?

I'm not 100% sure I have it, I notice symptoms, but they are not obvious (i.e. fluid filled blisters). In my first outbreak, symptoms were characterized by reddish swelling with bumps, but they were not fluid filled. Now, if I get an "O.B.", it is a general reddish rash, mild swelling, usually amplified from scratching due to itchiness. I have a feeling it's HSV1 because I got my first outbreak a week after a major outbreak in the mouth area. I think I scratched myself and got it via "auto-innoculation"

Should I tell my partner I may have genital HSV1? I mean, it's hardly noticeable, it's the cold sore type. Do people tell other people before they kiss that they have cold sore herpes in the mouth? We will use condoms, and it is very rare to pass HSV1 genital to genital is it not?? I've read forums that even some virgins got genital herpes! It is very hard to get it diagnosed because my outbreak, if any, is so infrequent and shortlived that I often do not have sufficient time to make a timely doctor's appointment to get it checked out in time. Prodromal symptoms are mild, I just notice common itchiness, and I don't get any tingling sensation like I do with oral herpes outbreaks.

I know it sounds bad, but I wish everyone would get this disease so that we would not become minorities, but majorities! I don't want to miss out on the joy of sex just because I may be a possible carrier.

1. If you are not certain, MAKE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT AND GET TESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. If you have HSV you have an absolute responsibility to inform possible sexual partners. There is NO evading this. It is a moral, as well as a legal, responsibility.

3. If you have HSV either valtrex or acyclovir will take care of the outbreaks. They will NOT preventing you from infecting others.

[tothefuture]

I definitely don't think you should tell her for the following reasons;

1. she has no right to know if she's putting herself at risk of catching an STD

2. she probably won't ever have children, so having genital herpes won't be a problem as she won't have children who she can pass it on to during childbirth

3. honesty in a relationship is well over-rated

4. if she has really bad outbreaks she can always take medication

5. you didn't have a choice about catching it so why should she.

[lubrcate]

Do I sense sarcasm from "tothefuture"?

In reply to DBC, I can NOT get tested for HSV.

I went to an STD clinic, I tested all negative, but they can't test you for G-HSV unless you have an O.B. and sores are present.

O.B. are rare and mild (maybe 1 or 2 times during the whole year) so I can't always tell for sure, and it's very short lived so it's hard to make a "walk-in" appointment because I may be in the middle of a busy week.

Should I just not tell her unless she asks?

[JRTJRT]

You are looking for excuses and a way out. There is no way out. An excuse does not exist for not telling her. You are in panic denial and your conscience is losing to selfishness.

You could get tested if you really wanted to, but that doesn't even matter. You think you have GHSV, which is enough that you must tell her. It doesn't matter how many other people have it. It doesn't matter if it's "hardly noticable or the cold sore type" (what does that mean anyway?).

[tothefuture]

Exactly - what DOES that mean?!

I have a cold but it doesnt' matter cos it's only the snotty type!!!! (Maybe not the best of analogies!!).

Type 1 type 2 it's all the same.

And no-one can have that much of a busy week!! Unless you're a surgeon or something

I think you know what you should do - you're just grasping at straws. Go do the right thing

[kurious]

You should tell her because it's the right thing to do.I wish the bastard that gave me this little "gift" would have told me.As far as not being able to ge tested ,that's' bullshit and you know it.I got tested in 11/06 and I have never had a OB.You can go to a lab and they cant test you there,the whole process takes about 15 minutes.I know from experience.They took urine and blood.You arent that busy to where you cant go get tested,you just dont want to.You're probably one of those people that rather not know than know and just pass it around.How would you like it if your girl had AIDS and didnt tell you before you slept together.You wouldnt like that shit at all.Its because of people like you that this virus is spread so easily.

[lubrcate]

Fine, I'll get a blood test done for HSV.

What if they find me positive for HSV1 and not HSV2? What would that mean? I have HSV1 which is cold sore herpes but it doesn't tell me where I have it. If I am tested negative for HSV2 (which is more common in genital herpes cases) does it mean I can say I don't have genital herpes?

[dbc1951]

Fine, I'll get a blood test done for HSV.

What if they find me positive for HSV1 and not HSV2? What would that mean? I have HSV1 which is cold sore herpes but it doesn't tell me where I have it. If I am tested negative for HSV2 (which is more common in genital herpes cases) does it mean I can say I don't have genital herpes?

I should have told you that you can get a blood test---my bad.

Most physicians lump HSV1 and HSV2 together. If you are tested positive what you need to do is discuss this with a physician. HSV1 can be transmitted to the genitals through oral sex.

[lubrcate]

Testing Positive does not TELL YOU ANYTHING! Almost 80% of the population has oral herpes and will test positive for HSV1!!

In fact, I know I will test positive for HSV1 because I get cold sores.

[kurious]

Get a HSV select test and it will tell you what type you have and where you have it at too.

[lubrcate]

From my understanding, a blood test CAN NOT tell you WHERE you have herpes. It can only tell you whether you have type 1, type 2, or both.

[Caliope]

Since you can get hsv2 orally and genitally and you can get hsv1 orally or genitally what is the confusion about.

It is not uncommon to get either strain in either location. Some reports seem to indicate that cross infections are uncommon but from this site I am convinced otherwise.

IF I got hsv from someone TODAY and that person knew ahead of time that they had it and didn't give me the courtesy of deciding if I still wanted to have sex with them then I would go to extreme lengths to tell everyone I knew and everyone I knew they knew that they had purposefully exposed me to hsv and it was ruining my life. Heck I might even go so far as to post it in the newspaper with a picture of them next to it. What if someone was to do that to you? Think about it. You can make your own choice but you can't choose the consequences of that action.

I will never do that to someone.

[kurious]

I'm not a HSV expert but I got tested thru blood work and I have never had a outbreak so there were'nt any lesions to swab and when they told me the results it was positive for GHSV2.They used the HSV select test that I listed above.I went through a online service and went to a lab and that is how I found out.It cost me $300 to get tested for all STD's but it was $300 well spent too.

[Caliope]

Blood test results

A blood test will tell you if you have hsv or not. It cannot tell you the location.

If you don't know where then you should tell potential partners that you don't know if you have it orally or genitally but it could be either or both.

If they want to gamble then let them gamble. They need to be informed so they can make an informed decision.

That would make both oral sex and genital sex a risk since you can get either strain in either location.

[lubrcate]

Well then, if you get cold sores in the mouth, should you inform the partner before giving oral Sex? Everyone gets cold sores in the mouth. You can pass it through oral sex even if you dont have an active outbreak because asymptomatic shedding can occur in the oral area as well, correct?

[kurious]

Yes you should inform your partner before oral sex.Yes you can still spread it through asymptomatic shedding.No everyone doesnt get cold sores,I have never had a cold sore.

[JRTJRT]

You are buying into the "cold sores" are good, genital sores are bad. They are the same damn thing. Both type 1 and type 2 HSV produce cold sores. Cold sores appear on oral and genital areas.

"Everyone gets cold sores in the mouth." - Is that what you're planniung on telling your girlfriend when she shows up on your doorstep with a bunch of your cold sores in her mouth or vagina?

[kurious]

You are buying into the "cold sores" are good, genital sores are bad. They are the same damn thing. Both type 1 and type 2 HSV produce cold sores. Cold sores appear on oral and genital areas.

"Everyone gets cold sores in the mouth." - Is that what you're planniung on telling your girlfriend when she shows up on your doorstep with a bunch of your cold sores in her mouth or vagina?

Loved your whole reply.

[lubrcate]

I also want to add, it's not necessarily because of people like me that this virus spreads so easily. More than half the people that have genital herpes or HSV2 are UNAWARE! Read the studies and research conducted! Do a search on google right now! The reason this virus is spreading and becoming so prevalent is because people are ignorant and unaware! How are you going to have a choice when your partner nor you are aware??

[kurious]

That is true too BUT there are people like yourself who KNOW there status and opt not to inform there partner and it is spread ALOT like that.

[JRTJRT]

I also want to add, it's not necessarily because of people like me that this virus spreads so easily. More than half the people that have genital herpes or HSV2 are UNAWARE! Read the studies and research conducted! Do a search on google right now! The reason this virus is spreading and becoming so prevalent is because people are ignorant and unaware! How are you going to have a choice when your partner nor you are aware??

"people like me" - please elaborate... you mean people who are AWARE but still don't care if they infect others?

By your own logic, the fact that you are AWARE means that you should use that information to not spread the virus. You are AWARE so you have a choice.

[tothefuture]

I also want to add, it's not necessarily because of people like me that this virus spreads so easily.

Kind of shot yourself in the foot there.

[lubrcate]

What if we use a condom and the subject of STDs never comes up? Is it still mandatory for me to tell her?